Silent Kill:Battered Memories
by Leon XIII
Summary: Harry wakes up from his car crash and,much to his margin,his daughter is missing!Can he get through the game without fighting the Rawshocks?Parody of Shattered Memories.R&R.
1. Prologue

Silent kill:Battered Memories

2/27/10 8:59 pm

**A/N:I just got through Shattered Memories (I now know what boredom is) so now I can start the parody.**

Chapter 0:I

The scene is seen through a camera.A hyperactive little girl runs over to her father.

Father:".Calm down,calm down!"

WHAM! The father punched the little girl in the face,knocking her picked her up,threw her in the backseat of his car,and drove scene skips further,now the Father and little girl were at some kind of fair.

Little girl:"Look 's do this."

The father was eating a bag of peanuts.

Father:"whatever."

They got behind this cardboard cutout thing and smiled for the camera.

Little Girl:"I love my daddy."

Someone was watching this tape and kept rewinding the part where the little girl said "I love my daddy".The viewer was none other than doctor K,the creepy guy from the first Silent went over to the counter,grabbed a bottle of wine,sat down on the couch and turned on the tv as he took a big swig from his bottle.

TV:"I'm Rick James Bitch!"

Suddenly his buzzer buzzed,he moaned and answered it.

Dr.K:"Yeah?"

Buzzer:"Your new paitient is here."

Dr.K:"Good,send bleep in."

Meanwhile,some idiot is driving his car during a massive snow suddenly swerved and ran straight into a pole.

To be continued...

Now a new short feature..

Leon XIII's game reviews #1:Silent Hill:Shattered Memories

I'm sitting in a chair in front of a fireplace.

Me:"Hi,and welcome to this new short feature of I express my comments on various video is my most recent one,Shattered first I thought I would love this game,but after an hour of it,nothing could be more wrong."

I throw my book at the wall and stand up on the chair.

Me:"I WAS AWFUL! The gameplay was fine,but those puzzles were extremely easy,thanks to the strategy guide,and it was soooooo boring that you couldn't fight the enemies,you couldn't even punch them! In my opinion,you should ignore this game you want to see the endings,go on you want a game where you have to run away from enemies,stick with Echo Night,at least it has good Music."

I sit back down and start playing Prototype.

end

**A/N:R&R,I really am about to play prototype! I hope this is the first parody of this entry.**


	2. What's her name again?

Battered memories

Disclaimer:I do not own Silent Hill,Resident Evil,Hidden Invasion,Grand Theft Auto,or legend of Spyro,I do own is property of _cloethedragoness_ from the Spyro fanfic section,she's an excellant romance writer.

Chapter 1:"What's her name again?"

Dr.K:"Okay,lets get this thing over the table in front of you is a worksheet,it's the only one I however you see fit."as he takes a swig from his bottle.

Test

1.I make friends easy:false

a drink helps me relax:Hell Yeah!

3.I enjoy roleplay during sex:true

4.I think Cynder is hot:True

5.I liked Silent Hill Homecoming:Hell no!

6.I like cartoons in diapers:tr-uh false

7.I think this is the worst game ever:Did Hitler hate the Jews?

Dr.K takes the paper and looks at it.

Dr.K:"Okay lets hurry this up."

Harry awoke from his catastrophic car bumped his head against the door,and again on the rubbed his head and checked the back seat.

Harry:"Awww crap.I guess I'll have to look for her.I'll just grab my flashlight."

Harry started looking around and saw a gate,which he quickly climbed over.

Harry:"I learned how to do that in _Mirror's Edge_."

Harry entered a was a green car with a man under it.

Harry:"Hello?"

Man:" it,you made me spill my oil!"

Harry:" you seen a little girl in blue overalls?"

Man:"Nope,haven't seen anyone all 's f#%ing cold though."

Harry:"Hey watch your mouth! This isn't Daze or Echo Fright!"

Man:"Sorry.I'm Johnny,what's your name,like I care."

Harry:"Harry Mason,and my daughters name is...uhh..what was it again?Sherry?Meryl?ahhh forget it."

Johnny got out from under the car (He was wearing blue jeans,black leather loafers,and a black tee shrit that said 'don't vote for Obama')

Johnny:"Well since I don't have anything better to do,I might as well go with you."

Harry:"Really? You don't mind?"

Johnny:"Sure.I just have to grab my beer box on the table over here."

Harry:"Cool,can I have some?"

Johnny:"Sure."

Johnny grabs the beer box,hands Harry a bottle,and stuffs the box in his ,Harry and Johnny went into the hallway,with Harry drinking.

Harry:"Damn,it's been forever since I drank this stuff."

RING!

Harry jumped at the ring from the phone,nearly pissing himself.

Harry:"Jesus! Damn that Motherf#%ing phone!"

Johnny:"Aren't you going to answer it?"

Still angry,Harry picked up the phone and held it to his ear.

Harry:"Hello?"

Phone:"WATCH YOUR DAMN MOUTH! I'M TRYING TO KEEP THIS A T RATED FIC!(hangs up)."

Harry put the phone back on it's reciever.

Johnny:"Who was it?"

Harry:"Some nutjob."

Johnny:"Want to check out the bathrooms?"

Harry:"Good might be some Health drinks or easter eggs in there."

Johnny:"But... there aren't any recovery items in this game."

Harry:"'s just leave then."

Harry and Johnny left through the door and came in a shop.

Johnny:"The exit is past that door."

Harry:"Shouldn't we loot the place first?"

Johnny:"Nah! I own this whole place,it's more worthless than,_Hidden Invasion_."

Harry:" game is really boring."

Harry and Johnny went past that other door and came to a door that was locked.

Harry:"Well,we'ed better find the key."

Johnny:"Actually,this is one of the games cheap-ass excuses for a dosen't require a key."

Harry sighed,he solved the puzzle (it was easier than,uhhh,the stone tablet puzzle from _Resident Evil 4_) and they went came between two stores,a dress strore,and a camera store.

Johnny:"Which way should we go?"

Harry:"Hey,look at that billboard."

The Billboard was an advertisement for the 'United Fruitcake outlet'(if you played the game you'll know what it looks like,if not,watch the walkthrough on youtube.).

Johnny:"Should we call them?"

Harry:"Nah,I can't call them until I've completed the game at least ,the author will show that ending in his 'extras' chapter."

Johnny:"I think we should go in the camera shop."

Harry:"Nah! Let's go in the dress might be some ladies under-garments in there."

Johnny:"Sweet!"

Harry and Johnny rush inside the Dress shop and immediatly start scrounging around,wrecking the the whole shop was a mess.

Johnny:"Did you find anything?"

Harry:"Just a stupid answering machine."

Johnny:"Well play it."

They went behind the counter and pressed the 'play' button on the answering machine.

Answering machine:"Hi Anna,I left the front door unlocked for some strange reason and the key to the back door is in Jane's you seen Harvey? He looked really drunk. I'm going to regret breaking up with ,I got this new nail polish in the mail 's limited edition 'Cloe' goes great with my Spyro hair clip.I'm so fat,this morning I took some Barf pills and-(Harry grabs the Answering machine and throws it against the wall)."

Harry:"I just couldn't listen to that jabbering bimbo anymore"

Johnny:"I couldn't either."

Johnny and Harry went through the door behind the counter and climbed up the stairs to the next the room there was 3 manniquins and a door with a note on went over to the door and read the note.

Note:"Didn't you listen to the message? It's in Jane's jacket. Her Jacket is the magic I have to remember to pick up some more dieting pills and-(Harry grabbed the note,crinkled it up,and tore it to pieces.)."

While Harry was having this outburst,Johnny unzipped one of the Jackets and found the unlocked the door and went were on some kind of fire escape,with a ladder.

Harry:"Oh god no."

Johnny:"What's wrong?"

Harry:"I had a bad experience with a ladder once...."

_Flashback_

Harry was climbing down a ladder at a construction site,when his foot suddenly slipped and he fell nearly 20 stories,on an open-bedded truck carrying snakes.

_End_

Harry:"That's why I'm gonna do this." as he leaped over the handle bar,into a dumpster full of managed to get out and the two leave the hop over another fence and land in a slides down the slide,while Johnny walks over to the cart (why the hell is there an old cart in the middle of a playground anyway?) and found 3 beer cans.

Johnny picked up each of the cans and noticed one was heavier than the thought it still had some beer left in it so he chugged it,only to choke on a jumped off the slide and performed the heimlich manuver on key shot out of his mouth and into the keyhole to the door that was locked and....well...unlocked.

They came out on another street,with a diner and a bar.

Johnny:"The lights at the diner are on."

Harry:" must still be open,let's get some fries."

Johnny:"You want to eat at a time like this?"

Harry:"Would you rather starve?"

Johnny:"Good point."

The duo ran inside and saw a lone cop at a sat down at the counter.

Johnny:"Service!"

Cop:"The diners closed."

Harry:"Then why are you here?"

Cop:"There was a murder in the back Slovakian guy shot the chef after being told his hamburger fell on the floor."

Harry sat down across from her.

Harry:"By the way,I'm Harry Mason and that's Johnny,I was in a car crash and lost track of my daughter,Her name is....uhhh..anyway she looks like this." as he handed her his wallet.

Cop:"I'm Cybil Bennet,she's ho-I mean say's here you live on Levin's Street."

Harry:"Wow really? I guess I forgot."

There was a ringing sound coming from Harry's jacket.

Cybil:"Aren't you going to answer it?"

Harry:"Oh,I forgot I had a phone."

Harry pulled his iPhone out of his jacket and answered it.

Harry:"Hello?"

Phone:"Daddy...help me..daddy..(SMASH)"

Harry:"Honey? HONEY?! She's at home,with someone else.I have to go there."

Cybil:"Well,good luck."

Johnny:"Can't you take him there?"

Cybil:"Fraid not.I got to check on 50 other murder scenes."She then left the diner.

Johnny:"Hey Harry,I was looking for something to eat and I found this in the cabinet."

Johnny held out a glass globe with a light house in it.

Harry:"What the hell is this?"

Johnny:"You got me.I think we should hang onto it."

Harry:"Yeah,this thing could be worth 20 bucks on eBey!"

Harry stuffed it in a small cardboard box in his pants,then thay left the diner.

Johnny:"Where is Levin's Street?"

A help message appeared on the screen.

Help Message:"Harry's phone contains various features,such as a GPS."

Harry:"Thank god for Apple!" as he pulled out his phone.

He selected the map option and slowly started to follow the waypoint,SLAM,right into the door of the opened the door and saw a black silouette on the swing.

Johnny:"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,IT'S THAT FREAK FROM 'SPIRITED AWAY'!!!!!!"

Another Help message appeared on screen.

Help Message:"Events with strong emotions often leave echoes tied to certain objects,photograph silouettes to hear them."

Harry pulls out his phone and photographs the silouette,which reveals it's his litttle gets a voicemail too,so he listened to it.

Voicemail:"Daddy...I need......you to get me another juice box."

Harry:"Whiny bitch."

They re-entered the dress shop and Harry got another help message.

Help message:"Echo photos aren't the only freaky ghost that give off static are also tied to certain objects,just approuch them."

Harry started picking up a signal,so he followed it to the red dress in the window,then the dress and Johnny almost pissed themselves.

Message:"Caitlin here! Josh is such an ass! He threw up all over my new dress! I maced him then kicked him in the nuts! Then this guy with tall black hair broke in through the roof and started throwing energy blasts at everyone! I had a rotten day."

Harry:"Whiny bitch."

Harry and Johnny got back on the road,then Harry got a phone call.

Harry:"Hello?"

Phone:"You can't fight them daddy.....Run...just run!"

Harry:"Are we in _Haunting Ground_ or something?"

The world was the covered by a thick ice,stronger than the Hair of Leon S. Kennedy.

Harry:"Just think what the heating bills are gonna be after today..."

Meanwhile,my OC's,Parker and Alex,were playing this game in my living room.

Parker:"I have a feeling this games going to get worse."

end

**R&R,who could that man with the tall black hair be????? Hope you enjoied it.**

**Sorry it took so long,I guess I've been slacking off.**

**Surpremists suck!!!!!**


	3. My little Barney the builder explorer st

Chapter 3:My little Barney the builder explorer street

WARNING:SPOILER ALERT!

Disclaimer:I do not own Silent Hill,Obscure,NIMH,Legend of Spyro.I do own Johnny,Alex and Parker.

Harry and Johnny ran through the only doorway they could force open.

Johnny:"Can I have your flashlight?"

Harry:"Hell no! It's Mine!"

They procceeded down this icy corridor and were startled by a noise. Johnny held onto Harry's coat.

Johnny:"Is it a Closer?"

Harry aimed his flashlight at the wall,and a Rawshock was clawing on the other side.

Harry:"That's the corniest monster we've ever come up with."

Johnny:"Yeah,he looks kinda wimpy."

Harry:"Anyway,he's behind that thick wall of ice,I doubt he could get to us."

Suddenly,Harry's phone rang. He answered it,it carried a lot of static.

Phone:"Daddy,you can't fight them. Run!"

Harry:"Meryl?"

Johnny:"Uhhh,Harry?"

Harry:"What the hell do you-"

He turned around and saw several other Rawshocks.

Harry:"Oh crap."

Johnny:"We can take em!"

Johnny threw a punch at one of them,which was deflected and was tackled by some of

the others.

Johnny:"Help me!"

Harry looked to the side to find some discarded Whiskey Bottles. He grabbed one.

Harry:"Hey freaks! Look at the bottle!"

They looked at it.

Harry:"Fetch!"

Harry threw the bottle and they all chased after it. Johnny almost did too,until Harry grabbed him.

Harry:"Johnny,the game."

Johnny:"Oh,right."

Rawshock:"HEY! THIS BOTTLE'S EMPTY!"

A mob of angry Rawshocks came running back. Harry and Johnny ran through a door.

Harry:"Quick! Help me barricade the door!"

Johnny and Harry placed a PS3,a Painting of Micheal Jackson,a Plasma Screen TV,an

Iron Pipe,Hewie from _Haunting Ground_,and a Porn mag in front of the door.

Harry:"They'll never get in now."

A Rawshock jumped through a window that was right next to the door.

Rawshock:"I LOVE YOU,YOU LOVE ME."

Johnny:"OH GOD! STOP THE MADNESS!"

The duo started running again. They were approaching a wall.

Harry:"Get ready to jump."

Johnny just ran through the wall,leaving a man shaped hole that Harry ran through. They were approaching another door.

Johnny:"Quick,lets hide in here!"

Johnny opened it a hair and a Rawshock Grabbed him from behind it.

Rawshock:"COME ON DOWN AND PLAY IN OUR FAVORITE NEIGHBORHOOD!"

Harry slammed the door on it's arm and forced it to let go of Johnny. He then opened it forcfully the other way,slamming the Rawshock in the face. They ran past it and came across another wall,Which johnny ran through again. As Harry leapt over it,a Rawshock grabbed his Leg.

Rawshock:"BOB THE BUILDER,CAN HE FIX IT? BOB THE BUILDER,YES WE CAN!"

Harry kicked it several times in the face and it let go.

Johnny:"It feels like we're in _Scooby doo_."

They Ran past Scooby-doo.

Scooby:"ROOBY ROOBY ROO!"

A gang of Rawshocks tackled him and devoured him.

Rawshock:"MY LITTLE PONY,MY LITTLE PONY!"

The duo came across a swimming pool.

Johnny:"Maybe they can't swim."

He dove headfirst into an empty pool on a concrete floor. Harry jumped down.

Johnny:"Damn it! Who drained the pool?"

Harry:"Why is there even a pool here? I have no idea where we are."

Johnny:"Hey look! Something glowing red!"

Harry ran over to the item that held a red aura and picked up...

Harry:"A FLARE?"

Johnny:"Maybe they're afraid of light?"

3 Rawshocks jumped down with them.

Harry:"Oh sure,I just pull off the cap and they cower in fear,this is _Silent Hill_,not _Obscure!_"

Harry did the exact thing he said and the flare scared the Rawshocks.

Rawshock 1:"AAAAHHHHHH,It's red like the Movie version of _Secret of NIMH_!"

Rawshock 2:"It's bright like the ending of this game!"

Rawshock 3:"It's hot like Cynder!"

Johnny:"We'd better go before the flare burns out."

Harry:"Don't worry,I'm sure this thing will last a few more minutes."

The flare went out.

Harry:"Damn irony."

They jumped out of the pool and ran for this garden door. Before they reached it,a Rawshock grabbed Harry.

Rawshock:"COME ON,VAMANOS! EVERYBODY LETS GO!"

Johnny socked it in the face and it let go. They stormed through the door,which was free of the evil icy coating and the end of the nightmare.

Johnny:"Finally,I need a drink."

Johnny pulled out a beer and started drinking until Harry grabbed it.

Harry:"I want some too!"

Johnny:"Hell no!"

Harry:"Share!"

They wrestled over the can as the screen faded black.

SPOILER NEAR!

The patient was sitting in front of Dr. K,whom removed his shoes and was still drunk.

Dr. K:"Alright,now lets talk about family. I have no family,they were killed by demon nurses. Does your family annoy you?"

Patient:"(Nod)"

Dr. K:"Does your family sacrifice a child to protect their town every 50 years?"

Patient:"(Shake)"

Dr. K:"Do you wish your family was another race,like dragons or mice?"

Patient:"(Nod)"

Dr. K:"Did the depression of your father's death create a physical Manifestation of him and he now searches for you unaware of his own death?"

Patient:"..."

Dr. K:"Never mind. There's a picture of a house on the table in front of you,I want you to pretend your an annoying kinder gardener and color it."

Alex:"OOOOO, Write ''Obama Sucks'' on it!"

Parker:"Whose holding the controller? I'll color it how I want."

Alex:"Screw this."

Alex wrestled with Parker over the controller. Alex got it and stuck it down his diaper.

Alex:"Ha Ha,use it now!"

Parker tackled him and this caused the game to scribble on the coloring page with various colors and confirm it.

Dr. K:"...Your choice is very unique. It looks like a toddler who had it shoved in his diaper did it. Anyway,let's move on."

Dr. K took a swig from his bottle and threw it out the window.

Parker:"Damn it! Look what you did! And that was the last working controller,it's probably got urine all over it now!"

Alex:"It still works,I dare you to use it."

Parker:"Hell no! You can play this reject of a game,I'm going out to kill someone!"

Parker left and slammed the front door. Alex took the controller out of his diaper and continued playing.

Harry and Johnny came to the most ridiculous house they've ever seen. It had red,green,blue,yellow and purple scribbles from the roof to the porch. Even the car outside the garage was ridiculously scribbled.

Johnny:"For some reason,I smell baby powder..."

Harry:"Who cares,I'm finally home. I don't know what I was thinking when I bought this place,though."

Harry and Johnny ran up to the door and knocked on it,a middle aged man,wearing a shirt that was also ridiculously scribbled,opened it.

Man:"Hello,can I help you?"

Harry:"What's a hippie doing in my house?"

Man:"Well I'll have you know that we live here."

A woman with a ridiculous shirt came over with him.

Woman:"Whats going on?"

Harry:"Why the hell are you brady bunch freaks in my house?"

Man:"This isn't your house,were you in a car crash or something?"

Harry:"YOUR THE ONES WHO MADE ME CRASH!"

Woman:"He's right,we've been living here for 14 years."

Johnny:"I think they may be right Harry."

Harry:"They're lying!"

Girl:"Mom,where's my beer?"

Harry:"Who the hell is that?"

Man:"That's our daughter Maria."

Harry:"Your lying,that's my daughter Meryl! She loves beer! Meryl!"

Woman:"We'd love to help,but it's getting late."

Harry:"MERYL!"

Man:"Your upsetting my wife."

Harry:"I don't give a crap about your hippy-assed wife! MERYL!"

Johnny:"Where did you get those shirts?"

Man:"We found them at a yard sale,they were only 50 cents. We can't get the smell of baby powder out of them,though."

Harry punched the man in the face and elbowed his wife in the face. He ran inside and in the living room.

Harry:"MERYL! Hey,your not Meryl."

Maria:"Hey sexy,want a good time?"

Harry screamed and ran back on the porch,it was the same Maria from _Silent Hill 2_.

Maria:"I can show you a trick I learned from a guy named Jam-"

Harry slammed the door in her face,knocking her out then opened it again.

Harry:"Sorry about the misunderstanding,let me make it up to you."

He threw a 20 dollar bill on the unconscious man and closed the door. Just then a police car pulled up.

Johnny:"Oh crap,we're made."

Cybil got out of the car.

Cybil:"Hey Harry,I forgot to mention that someone else lives here."

Harry walked up to her and shoved his wallet in her face.

Harry:"But this said I live here!"

Cybil:"It also says that was 14 years ago."

Harry:"Oh,crap.'

Cybil took his wallet.

Harry:"Hey,why don't you take us down to the station for a new license!"

Cybil:"Alright,want a cup of coffee with the Stewarts first?"

Harry:"Oh no,no,no,no. I wouldn't want to disturb them."

Johnny:"Shouldn't we tell her what happened to us earlier in the chapter?"

Harry:"Just get in the car!"

They climbed into the backseats and Cybil drove off.

Alex:"Jeez,this game is more boring than I thought it would be. I can see why Parker walked off. I better get my nappy changed,anything to get away from this crappy game."

To be continued...

**A/N:Sorry this took so long,I was finishing another story. Hopefully,the next chapter won't take as long. Please review.**

**SURPREMASISTS SUCK!**


	4. Hmm,coincidence

Chapter 4:Hmm,Coincidence.

Disclaimer:I still don't own Silent Hill,Just Cause,Condemned,Left 4 dead,metal Gear solid,FEAR,Legendary,Resident Evil,Timesplitters,Dead Space,Overblood,Alan Wake,Bioshock,Doodlebops. I do own Johnny,Alex and Parker.

A/N:I mean no offense to any Furries.

Parker:"For the last time,your not wet!"

Alex:"AwwW,come on! I can't stand that stupid game!"

Parker:"I've changed you twice in a row! Now go back down there and play that game or I'll tell Leon you ripped his 'Just Cause' Strategy Guide!"

Alex:"Fine! Be a total ass!"

* * *

Alex angrily stomped downstairs and sat down in front of the tv. He grabbed a bottle of water and started drinking it. He wanted to get away from this game as soon as possible.

Harry and Johnny were sitting in the back of Cybil's police crusier.

Cybil:"Mr and Mrs Stewart have been living there for 14 years,strange I forgot to tell you that."

Harry:"Yeah,they sound like nice people.'

Johnny:"Until you knocked them upside-"

Harry:"Finish that sentence and I'll break your arm."

Cybil:"What?"

Harry:"I said 'polish that essence or I'll take your farm'."

Cybil:"Oh. Damn,this snow storm is crazier than the dust bowl."

Johnny:"Like that unconscious hooker Harry-"

Harry:"Drop it with the past references."

Cybil:"What?"

Harry:"I said 'stop it with the last essences'."

Cybil:"Oh. Damn,my windshield's covered,you boys wait here."

Cybil got out of her car and left the boys alone.

Johnny:"Sweet! Now we can raid her glove compartment!"

Johnny jumped in the front seat and opened the glove compartment. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and showed them to Harry.

Johnny:"DUDE! SHE SMOKES!"

Harry punched him in the face and took the pack. He put one in his mouth and lit it with a lighter. He lit one for Johnny too.

As they sat there smoking,Ethan Thomas wandered out from the forest behind their car. He pulled out his field kit.

Thomas:"Rosa,my Spectrometer is going nuts. What should I do?"

Rosa:"We can discuss a series of clues to determine what investigation grade you receive at the end of the mission."

Thomas:"Screw that,I'd rather get eaten by a bear."

He turned around and was tackled to the ground by a zombie like bear.

Johnny:"Wow,I'm bored."

Harry:"I wish something exciting would happen."

Thomas shot his Tazer at the Bear,but it didn't do any good.

Johnny:"Damn,it's getting smoky in here."

Harry:"Who cares,I probably already have cancer."

Thomas Hit the bear continuously with a nailed 2x4,but the Bear tore his leg off.

Harry:"Where the hell is Cybil?"

Thomas' guts were tore out and thrown on the back window of the police car.

Harry:"Screw this,lets blow."

They tried to open the doors,but they were locked.

Harry:"Did she think we wouldn't know how to pull these little knobs up?"

They unlocked the doors and opened them. Smoke poured out from the car. As they moved towards an old cabin,the Bear dragged the corpse of Ethan Thomas back to it's den.

Rosa:"Ethan? Are you still there?"

As they approached the cabin,Harry's phone started picking up static.

Harry:"My phones acting up again. Stupid Bill Gates!"

When Harry got near an old phone box,he got a message on his phone.

Message:"Dammit mom,you were right. Apparently,my roommate found a bottle of scotch under his dad's bed,so of course we drove all the way to this dinky cabin,drunk and now we're partying like it's 1920,so you were right when you guessed that would happen. Well,now it's time to break out the weed!"

Johnny:"Did he say weed?"

Harry:"Maybe there's some leftovers in there."

They charged into the cabin. Johnny tore open this First Aid cabinet and threw out a First aid kit,Pain pills and a Key.

Johnny:"Damn it! They used it all,the bags laying here."

Harry:"You might be able to smoke the remains that are on this key.

Harry used the key to open the opposite door and they went back outside. They passed Naked Snake,who was eating an actual snake. Harry's phone receive another message as he got close to a reef nailed into a tree.

Message:"Don't worry,I've been out here lots of times. There aren't any bears out DID THAT MANSION JUST EXPLODE? HOLY S#&* THERE ARE AT LEAST 20 ZOMBIES COMING RIGHT TOWARDS US! AND THERES A GRIFFON,AND A DEMON NURSE,AND A CREEPY NAKED WOMAN WITH LONG BLACK HAIR! Maybe I haven't been out here as much as I thought."

They moved to a water tower.

Johnny:"Why is there a freaking water tower in the middle of the woods?"

Harry opened a nearby bin and found a clear glass orb with some blue thing in it.

Harry:"Why the hell is this here?"

Johnny:"You better hang onto it,you can wing it at one of the freaks."

Harry stuffed it in his Memento box and they came to a gate,which they jumped. They opened some double doors and found themselves in a burning building. Whats more,they were both armed with AT-14 pistols!

Harry:"What the hell? This doesn't make any sense."

Johnny:"Who cares? Now we can shoot stuff!"

They moved towards a small staircase when these nightmares from _F.E.A.R_ attacked them.

Harry:"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Harry covered his eyes and shot his pistol blindly at the nightmares,killing all of them,but kept pulling his trigger despite this.

Johnny:"DUDE! They're dead!"

Harry:"Oh."

They moved further in the room when 3 more nightmares appeared.

Harry:"They look like Crispin from _Timesplitters 2_!"

Harry aimed and pulled the trigger of his gun 20 times and it just clicked,it was empty. Fortunately,Johnny's wasn't and he shot the Crispin look-a-likes,which exploded into black smoke.

Johnny:"Phew,those ghost freaks haven't showered in weeks!"

They went through a pair of double doors and ups some steps to another pair. Suddenly,the door stretched away from them,en-longing the hallway.

Johnny:"Damn,I got to stop drinking."

Harry:"I wish you'd share some of that drinking with me!"

They went down to the door and through it. They saw another pair of double doors at the end,with windows. They looked through them and saw a doctor delivering a baby. All of the sudden,they looked through the eyes of the baby at the doctor.

Doctor:"You will be a god among man."

Harry:"But I'm an Atheist."

Doctor:"Hey,your not the pointman! Sorry,wrong game."

They appeared back in the pumping station hallway,without their guns.

Johnny:"AWWW,man. I was actually having fun for a change."

They walked further down the hall. Harry's flashlight shone over a spray-painted heart with 'Cheryl' written on it.

Harry:"Hmm,Coincidence."

Johnny:"I thought your daughter's name was Meryl?"

Harry:"Oh,your right. No coincidence at all."

As they moved further,Harry's phone picked up static again.

Harry:"Damn it! I hate Alltel! I never should have trusted you,Chad!"

They followed the static (Because Harry wanted to strangle whoever was doing it) and it lead them to these black shapes behind these bars.

Harry:"Ghosts! I can submit this to haunted !"

Harry took a picture of them with his cellphone. The photo revealed them as Hands. Harry also got voicemail,which he answered.

Voicemail:"It's my brother! I dared him to squeeze between these bars and a tentacle from _Dead Space_ grabbed his leg and is trying to pull him back to it's realm! He's still holding on,so I need police assistance now! How are you holding out bro? Oh,these are just his arms,the monster just pulled him off."

They went over to this ladder and saw a poster.

Poster:"S.W.S.D.A,call 1-800-PUMP-THIS to report any violations."

Johnny:"What does S.W.S.D.A mean?"

Harry:"I don't know. Lets call and see."

Harry dialed the number.

Phone:"Hi,welcome to the Super wet soggy diapers association hotline,may we assist you?"

Harry hung up immediately. They climbed up the ladder and saw another poster.

Poster:"County weather service. 25% chance we'll guess right.1-500-GUESS-WHAT."

Harry dialed the number.

Phone:"Hello,today's weather will be ball-freezing cold with S#%loads of snow. Also a slight chance of complete freeze over with naked demons. Wait,that's tomorrows headline. Today's weather should be ball-scorching hot with occasional sandstorms."

They moved further into the forest before Harry's phone picked up static again. They followed it to a bloodstained tent.

Message:"Hell,I told you to bring some shotgun ammo,you stupid bitch! Now your bleeding to death and I'm next on the list! Why did we come camping in bear territory? Why are we leaving these retarded messages all over the place? Mom,if your hearing this,tell Jimmy that I hate his guts to hell and punch him in the nuts. I wish we didn't smoked all the weed at the party,then this wouldn't be so bad. And one last thing,I UGGGHHHHH BLEACHHHH SPLURCHHHHH GUSHHHHHH!"

Harry:"Jeez,he's almost as bad as that gabbering bimbo."

Johnny:"I'm glad he's dead,He horded all the pot."

They came across a sign.

Sign:"State department of Natural Resources. Run by tree huggers since the Roosevelt administration. 8910-HIPPY."

Harry dialed the number.

Phone:"Due to shortages of oil,we are rejecting all the Hippie's cries and are going to drill for oil in silent hill. Sure,hundreds of animals will die,but Gas prices will only be 50 cents a gallon."

Harry:"Finally,the Hippies are losing power."

They saw another cabin in the distance.

Johnny:"Dude,I'm freezing,lets take cover in there."

Harry:"I hope we don't find Alan Wake in there."

They went inside and Harry shrieked. There was a corpse of a dead bear laying on the table.

Johnny:"Calm down man,it's dead."

Harry:"Not that,it's Alan wake."

Alan Wake came over to them.

Alan:"Hi,I'm the famous Author Alan Wake,how do you do?"

Johnny:"Harry,aren't you a writer too?"

Harry:"Yeah,I wrote ''Descent into flesh covered walls'' and ''The Worst Mistake of my Life:Shattered Memories''. I thought those were my best."

Alan:"pfft. Yeah right,have you ever read my best,''How to make a Boring Third Person Shooter'' or ''1000 Collectable Items that aren't worth Collecting''? Your books are crap."

Harry:"Your not very nice."

Alan:"What are you gonna do about-"

Harry smashed that glass sphere over Alan's head. The Blue thing turned out to be permanent ink,which splashed all over his face and hair. He fell to the ground with a thump,unconscious.

Johnny:"I told you to save that for a monster!"

Harry:"Alan Wake is a monster!"

Johnny moved over by the bear and stood on top of it.

Johnny:"Hey,can you take a picture of me?"

Harry used the camera on his phone to take a picture of Johnny,who jumped down.

Johnny:"How does it look?"

Harry:"You look pretty gay."

Johnny opened a cabinet (hoping he would find some drugs) and picked up a knife.

Johnny:"Look what I found! Now we have a weapon!"

Harry:"I think that's supposed to be a memento."

Johnny:"Whatever,This is a parody,we can use anything."

Johnny gave it to Harry,who shoved it in his memento box. They went into another room. Harry decided to look through a drawer to see if there were any dirty magazines. Instead,he found a pink 'hello kitty' flashlight. He tossed it to Johnny.

Harry:"You wanted a flashlight,right?"

Johnny:"EEEEWWWWW, This one's gay!"

Johnny forced Harry to put it in his Memento Box. They entered the kitchen,were another dark shape hovered over the sink.

Harry:"Cool! More ghost evidence!"

Harry snapped a pic of it (which revealed it to be a gutted deer),and got a text message.

Message:"Joel Jr killed and gutted his first deer! I used the mind control Plasmid from _Bioshock_,but who gives a crap,I'm so proud of him!"

Johnny Shrieked. Harry turned around and saw he opened a cabinet full of dead animals.

Harry:"Dude,they're just dead animals."

Johnny:"Oh,for a second I thought they were mutants from _Overblood_."

Harry:"Don't be silly,theres no such thing as _Overblood_."

They went outside,Harry's phone rang,which he answered.

Harry:"Hello?"

Cybil(phone):"Harry! Where the hell are you!"

Harry:"We got tired of waiting,you took to long."

Cybil:"I was attacked by a crapload of Furries,I wandered into their territory. In fact,they're holding me hostage right now! I need you to come and rescue me!"

Harry just hung up on her. Cybil was tied to a wooden post. An anthropomorphic cheetah walked up to her.

Cheetah:"Why have you entered our lands?"

Cybil:"I was taking 2 nitwits to the police station."

A baby raccoon with a blue pacifier and diaper spoke up.

Raccoon:"She was trying to kill us!"

Cybil:"Aren't you a little young to be here?"

Raccoon:"I'm 28!"

Back to Harry and Johnny...

Johnny:"Was that Cybil?"

Harry:"Yeah,she just wanted to check on us."

They approached a tree with a stag skull on it.

Johnny:"Oh no! We must be in an area inhabited by demon cultists!"

Harry got a message as he approached it."

Message:"Stop Crying and kill it already! I don't want to daddy! Then I'll have to use my Hypnotize Plasmid! No! Not that-(splash). Now kill it! (BANG) That's my boy!"

They moved further into the forest. They came to another cabin and they both saw a trail of blood.

Harry:"I don't even find that scary. Do you?"

Johnny:"Nope."

They followed the trail and it lead to a pink coat on the ground,covered in blood.

Johnny:"Cool! I'll look like a pimp if I wear that!"

Harry laughed uncontrollably as Johnny put the coat on.

Harry:"Dude,you look like Dee-Dee Doodle!"

Johnny:"Screw you! At least I change my wardrobe between games!"

Harry:"Hey,you see this jacket? It extends past my waste and looks like James Sunderland's from _Silent Hill __2_. In the original,it didn't look like this."

Johnny:"What? I couldn't hear you over your lack of creativity!"

Harry:"Hey,theres a wallet on those pallets."

Johnny:"It's pink and covered in blood like the coat. It will prove this coat belonged to a man."

Harry:"Screw that,lets just take the cash."

They opened the wallet and found a key and a driver's license.

License:"Dee-Dee Doodle. Age:13. Boyfriend:Busdriver Bob. Status:Dead."

Harry:"See,what did I tell ya?"

Johnny:"I still look like a pimp."

Harry:"This must be their house key,lets take it and break in to their place."

As they passed a truck,they saw a bumper sticker.

Sticker:"How am I driving? Call 1-800-KISS-MY-ASS!"

Harry called the number.

Phone:"Welcome to the How am I driving hotline. State your name."

Harry:"Harry Mason."

Phone:"Its says you really don't exist and if you did you would crash into every light post in the town and swerve every-time you saw a little girl."

Harry:"I'll see your momma every-time she sees a little girl!"

Harry hung up and the moved to the door to the cabin. It was locked. What else is new?

Alex had drunken 17 bottles of water. He stared at his crotch for 3 hours,hoping to lose control of his bladder,just to get away from the game. His wish came true as a yellow spot appeared on his diaper. He jumped up in the air and ran upstairs to get his diaper changed.

To be continued...

Will Alex ever be finished with this game? Will Cybil escape from the Furries? Will I ever be finished with this damn parody? Tune in for the next chapter to find out.


	5. Ice Schmuckers

Chapter 4:Ice schmuckers

disclaimer:I don't own Silent hill,Overblood,Alan wake,Resident Evil,Grand theft auto,Wizard of Oz,Caroline,FEAR,Cats,Scarecrow,Call of duty,Haze or Heavy Rain. I do own ,Johnny,Alex,Parker and G.X.

Parker was just getting out of the shower,when he heard a crash. Without even putting a towel on,he ran out and into Alex's room. Alex knocked over a vase as he was choking himself in a plastic bag. Parker grabbed the bag and tore it off Alex's head.

Parker:"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Alex:"Could you put a robe on or something?"

Parker:"You tired of that game aren't you?"

Alex:"Could you blame me? It's as boring as hell!"

Parker:"Leon thought _Overblood_ was boring and that didn't stop him from playing through it."

Before Parker knew it,Alex had jumped out the window.

Parker:"You little bastard!"

Parker jumped out after him. Meanwhile,G.X,another character of mine,came in through the front door.

G.X:"Parker,I came to return Leon's Codebreaker,hello?"

He saw the shattered memories game by the TV.

G.X:"OOOOOHHHH,that new Silent hill game!"

He sat down and started playing it.

Harry used the key on the cabin door and he and Johnny went inside.

Johnny:"I still say I look like a pimp."

Harry:"Will you just shut up for ten seconds?"

They walked further in the room. There was fishing supplies everywhere. Fishing poles,bait,string,dynamite...

Johnny:"DYNAMITE!"

Johnny grabbed 3 sticks of dynamite and stored them for later use.

Harry:"Can I have some?"

Johnny:"Hell no,I found them."

Harry:"Actually,the author found them."

Johnny:"Hey,who's holding the explosives? You or me?"

Harry grabbed a fishing pole to use as a weapon. They saw a little girl shadow at the end of the room.

Harry:"Meryl?"

The shadow came running at them.

Shadow:"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Harry:"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Johnny:"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly the world iced over again.

Harry:"The weather thing was right for once."

They left the cabin to find that the rest of the forest had frozen as well.

Harry:"No worries,lets just take this truck out of here."

He tried to open the door,but it was frozen shut. He pulled out his knife and started chiseling at the ice.

Harry:"Wish we had a flamethrower for this."

Johnny:"MANNEQUINS!"

Several Rawshocks charged towards Harry and Johnny.

Rawshock:"Get you hands off my truck you filthy drunks!"

Johnny pulled out a stick of dynamite and was about to throw it when he realized something important...

Johnny:"I don't have anything to light them with!"

Harry:"Here use this."

He tossed Johnny the fishing rod.

Johnny:"What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

Harry:"I don't know,FIGHT!"

Johnny swung the rod at the Rawshocks,which broke it and they tackled him.

Rawshock 1:"HURRAY,HURRAY,WE'RE GOING TO JOJO'S CIRCUS!"

Rawshock 2:"M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!" 

Rawshock 3:"BLUES CLUES!"

Harry gave up chiseling the truck and stabbed the Rawshocks with his knife.

Rawshock:"No fair,your not allowed to use that as a weapon."

The knife stopped hurting them.

Harry:"Damn video game logic!"

He pulled Johnny to his feet and they ran,the Rawshocks quickly followed.

Johnny:"These things are already boring,don't we have any other monsters?"

Harry:"Besides Alan Wake?"

They entered the bedroom of the Orion hunting lodge. They saw a large wardrobe.

Harry:"Sweet,we can hide in that!"

He opened it and they saw Luis from _resident evil 4_ inside,tied up.

Luis:"Hey,can you guys give me a hand?"

Harry:"Sure."

He untied him.

Harry:"How about you wait here,there's some policemen following us who can help you."

Luis:"Okay."

Harry and Johnny ran through another door,while Luis was devoured by the Rawshocks. They climbed over a ledge. Harry slipped on a Flare.

Harry:"Damn litter bugs!"

He picked it up.

Johnny:"Harry wait! That's a-"

Harry threw it into a bottomless pit.

Johnny:"Flare."

Harry:"Why didn't you tell me that before I threw it,dumbass?"

Johnny punched Harry in the arm and they jumped off another ledge.

Harry:"I'm gonna get asthma if I keep doing this."

They saw circles of light in the distance. As they ran towards them,a race car sped past them and crashed into a wall that the circle of light was in front of. Tommy Vercetti climbed out.

Tommy:"I thought these things were supposed to increase my time."

The duo dashed past him and saw scarecrow from the _Wizard of Oz_.

Scarecrow:"Ohhh,I wish I had a brain."

Johnny and Harry grabbed him and threw him on the ground. Some of the Pursuing Rawshocks tripped over him,then set him on fire as payback. Then,Harry and Johnny saw the scarecrow from the _Scarecrow_ movie. He was dancing a crazy gig,until Harry and Johnny threw him to the ground too. A Rawshock tripped over him,it tore his head off. Then Harry and Johnny saw Scarecrow,the TF141 soldier from _Call of Duty:modern Warfare 2_. They threw him down too.

Scarecrow:"Wait,I'm not really a scarecrow!"

He was ripped apart by the chasing Rawshocks. The duo started running through door after door.

Johnny:"I'm getting sick of all the doors in this game."

They came to a room with 3 doors. Harry opened the first one,which had the other mother from _Caroline_,she charged at Harry,who slammed the door on her face. Johnny opened the second,which had the chainsaw guy from _Resident Evil 4_. He shut it,as the chainsaw shot through the door. They both opened the third one,which led outside.

After an hour of running around aimlessly and encounter various other video game characters,they were sealed in this room. It held a frozen woman,man,child,and a little toy piano. Harry got an Echo message.

Message:"I'm on the damn phone,shut up! Anyway,I think it was a mistake coming out here. Mommy,my toy's not working. Shut up! This little kid in green with a fairy keeps vandalizing our car. I shot at him a couple of times,I think I got the fairy,but he just puts on this retarded bunny hat and sprints off. Quack,hoot,caw,caw,bawk. Mommy,I won! That's it! (crash) (scream)."

Johnny was pressing the keys on the toy piano,which made stupid animal noises.

Harry:"Would you keep it down? I'm trying to think."

Harry walked over to the sealed exit door. He tried chiseling it with his knife. Which like before was futile.

Piano:"quack,hoot,caw,caw,bawk."

The ice around the door melted,but Harry didn't notice,because he grabbed the piano and hurled it against the wall. He got another message.

Message:"That's how I got her to shut up,anyway I'm happy we're leaving tomorrow,I hate damn forests. (crash). Damn it,it's that little freak in green again,I'm gonna introduce him to my AK-47."

Harry:"Don't ever distract me like that again!"

Johnny:"But I solved the stupid puzzle."

Harry:"I don't care!"

They left through the now open door.

Rawshock 1:"HEY! THEY GOT THROUGH THE PUZZLE!"

Rawshock 2:"WOOHOO! GROPEING TIME!"

Harry:"Maybe we should stay in the puzzle room."

They turned around and saw that the door was locked. They then started running. One of the Rawshocks grabbed Harry and started to rub his chest.

Rawshock:"oohh yeah,how do you like that sexy?"

Harry:"It feels like the time I got drunk and slept with Peshy from _Haze_."

He threw it over his shoulder and stomped on it. They kept running until Harry slipped on another flare.

Harry:"Damn litter-"

Johnny quickly grabbed the flare from him.

Johnny:"Flare."

He opened it and the Rawshocks cowered in terror.

Rawshock:"Curse those emergency car devices!"

Johnny placed it on the ground and he and Harry ran into a nearby building. As they were running through the hundreds of doors,Harry's phone began to pick up static.

Harry:"Another Echo message? At a time like this?"

?:"Come on,no one else is here."

Johnny:"Rockshlocks!"

They both crawled under a nearby bed. 2 Rawshocks came into the room.

Rawshock 1:"Alright,lets apply our makeup."

Rawshock 2:"I can't believe we're the only ones who signed up for _Cats_"

They painted each others faces black and white,and put on fake fur. They started dancing.

Rawshocks 1&2:"Genacle cats are the kings of the night!"

Harry and Johnny couldn't stand watching such a ridiculous display of talent. They charged out from under the bed and attacked the Rawshocks with punches and kicks. They stood over the broken bodies of the once proud cat actors.

Harry:"I feel invincible."

The Rawshocks that were held back by the flare came into the room.

Rawshock:"You killed our companions and defaced their bodies!"

Harry and Johnny started running again. As they passed this field,Johnny fell down a black pit and was getting torn up by a Scarecrow from _F.E.A.R Perseus Mandate_. Harry quickly pulled him out and they fled. A Rawshock fell in the pit and was killed. Soon,Harry and Johnny saw an Ice spire which held a house that looked like the Anderson's on top of it.

Harry:"I can't believe I lived in something like that. It's so gay."

Soon they came to another house. They ran up the steps and inside. They ran out the other way and saw a bridge.

Johnny:"I hope that's not a crybaby bridge."

They crossed it and the ice melted away.

Harry:"Thank god,I feel like my lungs are going to explode."

Johnny:"Got any more cigs?"

Harry:"Yep."

They each took a butt and started puffing them.

G.X pulled out a Colt Python he carried with him,put it in his mouth and pulled the trigger.

Parker,still wet and naked,dragged Alex by the tail,tied up and Gagged,into their home. Parker saw the living room covered in G.X's brain matter and his headless corpse.

Parker:"That's it,the game has to go."

Alex smiled,though you couldn't see it through the mouth gag.

Parker:"I'm not letting you off,once I dispose of this game,I'm gonna make you play _Heavy Rain_."

Alex spit out the mouth gag.

Alex:"!"

To be continued..

Where will Harry and Johnny go next? What will Parker do with the game? How much do you hate these annoying questions?

**A/N:"Please review. Soon I'm gonna graduate,so I'll have more time for updates,if I don't get distracted by Windows movie maker or GIMP that is.**

**SURPREMASISTS SUCK!**


	6. Demonology part 1

Chapter 6:Demonology part 1

Disclaimer:I don't own Silent Hill,Tyrone the horrible,Legend of Spyro,Resident Evil,007,Dino Crisis,Heavy Rain,Tomb raider,Haunting ground,Drawn to life,Alan wake,Grand theft auto. I do own Parker,Alex,G.X,Teare,Layer,Layer's babies and Johnny.

Parker walked to the edge of the cliff near his house. He held the Shattered memories game over the ledge. He also put the memory card in it's box. He dropped it and watched it fall. He heard his brother screaming from the horrible game he was forced to play,so he returned to the house,happy the game was out of his hair.

Meanwhile,Teare,a male dragon with black scales,yellow stripe and cybernetic half faceplate arm combo,took a dive down to the cliff's bottom and the game fell into the bag of groceries he was carrying as he pulled back up.

An hour later,he returned to his home,an Average Suburban house. He slammed open the door,causing a chorus of cries in a different room. His wife,(a female dragon with white scales,purple stripe,Angel wings and gold horns) Layer shouted at him from the kitchen.

Layer:"DAMN IT,I JUST GOT THEM TO SHUT UP!"

He threw the groceries on the floor and slunked out on the couch. He turned on the TV.

TV:"Welcome to dragonesses gone wild!"

Layer stood over him. One of her many babies clawed at her leg for attention,another was biting her left wing,while she was trying to get the one in her chest sling to go to sleep.

Layer:"Where have you been? I just sent you to get some extra diapers and you come back an hour later and just shrug me off like a fly!"

2 more of her kids ran around her continuously,one who was sitting in a high chair in the kitchen vomited on another.

Layer:"You promised me that you would help take care of our hatchlings!"

One of her kids with a wet diaper came up to her.

Kid:"Mommy,I had an accident."

Layer(sweet voice):"Just go wait in the back room Silvia."

Kid:"I'm Sarah."

Teare:"That was before I found out you were going to have seven pairs of twins."

A naked child came up to her.

Kid:"Mommy,I lost my diaper."

Layer:"Just go wait in the back room Tyler."

Kid:"I'm T-bone."

Layer:"THE POINT IS I NEVER GET ANY PRIVATE TIME!"

Teare:"Your bluffing,I took care of the kids when you were at your mother's funeral."

Layer:"That was 11 months ago!"

* * *

One of Layer's babies,a female dragon with purple scales and yellow chest,found the Shattered memories game in the pile of groceries. She took it upstairs and slid the disk and memory card in her dad's PS2.

Harry and Johnny walked down the road. They spotted a red car with an open door.

Harry:"Cool! Now we can drive around town!"

As they approached it,there was a shadow figure in the door.

Harry:"Cool,more ghost evidence!"

He snapped a photo of it and got a message.

Message:"Please stop it! Come on Cheryl,let me get some. Your girlfriend will kill me if she finds out about this,Steve! Claire? Pffft,She don't mean nothing to me. STEVE! Oh,hi Claire. (BANG)"

Harry slipped in through he passenger door and threw out the dead body of Steve Burnside,who had a bullet hole in the side of his face. Johnny got in too.

Harry:"Damn, it's out of gas. The little #$%tard must have left it running."

Johnny:"Watch your mouth dude,we almost got deleted."

Harry:"Hey,have you seen that movie abut the people trapped in a supermarket surrounded by strange mist?"

Johnny:"Why?"

Harry:"This one dude had a shotgun in the trunk of his car,maybe there's one in this car too!"

They got out and popped the trunk. The only things in there were a can of hair spray and a dead butterfly on a nail,which Johnny picked up.

Johnny:"This will look great with my pimp coat."

Harry:"Johnny no!"

It was too late,Johnny thrust the nail in his chest,which started bleeding.

Johnny:"How do I look?" as blood spurted out from his chest.

Harry:"Like a real pimp."

They came to an abandoned tourist information booth.

Harry:"Who the hell would want to vacation here? Barack Obama?"

They climbed in through the window. Johnny started wrecking the place,looking for dough. All he found was a brochure.

Brochure:"Silent Hill,a living nightmare."

They went out back and found a fence with a hole under it.

Johnny:"A very similar scenario like this happened in _Dino Crisis_."

Harry:"This game makes _Heavy Rain_ look like _Bioshock_."

They crawled under it and they came to another fence.

Harry:"Are we on the U.S/Mexico border? Why the hell would there be 2 fences here?"

They climbed over and Harry's Phone rang.

Harry:"Oh my god."

He answered it.

Phone:"Harry,it's Cybil."

Harry:"Damn it,I thought you were dead."

Phone:"No,I'm alright. Where are you?"

Harry:"Hang on."

He switched to his phone's GPS function.

Harry:"Uhh. Um. Uhh. I think we're near the school."

Cybil:"Good,I'm nearby. That GPS works good."

Harry:"Actually,I just saw a sign for it."

Cybil:"That place is sometimes used as a shelter in storms,your daughter might be there."

Harry:"I'm heading there,but if she isn't there and your lazy ass isn't there,I'm leaving you behind."

Cybil:"But-"

He hung up on her.

Harry:"I hate this town so much. When I find that little brat,I'm outta here."

The screen faded into Dr. K's room. He removed his socks next.

Dr. K:"Alright,we all hate our school years,boring tests,horrible lunches, and non-sexy teachers. Did you like school?"

Patient:"(shake)"

Dr. K:"Were you a nerd who continuously talked about video games?"

Patient:"(shake)"

Dr. K:"Were you a Lesbian?"

Patient:"(shake)"

Dr. K:"Did you have an obsession with the jocks?"

Patient:"(shake)"

Dr. K:"Is shaking your head all you can do?"

Patient:"(Shake)"

Dr. K:"Alright,this isn't getting anywhere."

He got up and started pulling out and throwing papers out of his desk.

Dr. K:"Ah,heres something."

He threw an index card with a table on it and several little pieces on the table.

Dr. K:"Your going to make your perfect school day,just put the classes in the boxes. You also have a measly 2 minute lunch break. Don't leave any spaces blank."

The pieces were Sex education,Alcoholic beverages,Progress towards 'wicked and weak' ending,Doing nothing for entire class,unimpressive parody writing(hosted by Leon 13),and sweet lovey dovey ending progress. The patient put 'Doing nothing for entire class' in the top box and pressed X.

Dr. K:"CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?"

He threw his glass at the patient and threw the table aside.

Dr. K:"I SAID DON'T LEAVE ANY SPACES BLANK,ARE YOU GOING TO SHAKE YOUR HEAD ABOUT THAT TOO? WE STILL HAVE 6 HOURS OF THIS DAMN GAME LEFT AND I ALREADY HATE YOU!"

He sat down.

Dr. K:"Alright,back to those 2 guys at the school.

Near the school,Harry tried to open a door that was locked.

Harry:"Well,so much for this idea,lets head back to that bar we passed."

Johnny:"I remember passing a window,we can sneak in through there."

Harry:"Eh,okay."

They backtracked to the window and opened it. Unfortunately,it was blocked by a shelf.

Johnny:"Damn it,why would they put a key shelf right here?"

Harry:"Key?"

Harry reached in and grabbed the key laying on the shelf.

Harry:"This must be the key to that door."

Johnny:"It can't be,it could lead to another door."

Harry:"This is Silent Hill,of course it will open that door!"

They went back and,you guessed it,the key worked. They went inside and saw some graffiti on the wall.

Graffiti:"Tammy,will work for money,booze,and paper clips. 555-TAM-E."

Harry called the number.

Phone:"Hi,it's Tammy,what can I do for you?"

Harry:"Can you get us a helicopter or something like that? We need some transport."

Phone:"I'm on my way."

She hung up.

Johnny:"You know she was drunk."

Harry:"Yeah,I was just screwing with her."

They went through a pair of doors and ended up outside.

Harry:"Well that was #$%ing pointless!"

Johnny:"Calm down,the author has to use extra energy to censor those words."

As they approached this bicycle rack,Harry's phone started to pick up interference. He got a message when he approached a poster.

Message:"All students are encouraged not to play the choking game. If someone says your chicken too play it,you are allowed to kick them in the groin. Furthermore,students are also allowed to rape the challenger if they are of the opposite gender. As is,assassinating,threatening,blackmailing,pissing,-"

Harry deleted the message. It was too boring. They walked down the street and came to a fast food joint called "Wonderland Burgers".

Johnny:"Damn,I could go for a burger right about now."

Harry:"I wonder if they have vegetable baskets."

Unfortunately,the door was locked.

Johnny:"Damn it,I wish we could just punch out the glass."

Harry:"Maybe we could jump to it's rood from that building over there."

They climbed over a brick wall and down an alley. They came to a door and a Phone number beside it.

Phone number:"Cat house,arrange an appointment so you'll never have to wait to have sex again! 555-WHORE."

Harry grabbed his phone immediately and dialed the number.

Phone:"We are very sorry,but due to weather conditions,we have closed temporarily. Please save your condoms and call again when storm has ceased."

He threw his phone to the ground and stomped on it. Fortunately,it was EMP hardened,so it wasn't damaged. He remembered that he stole from Daniel Craig in the remake of _007:Goldeneye_.

They went inside. The hallway was lined with pictures of naked women including,Lara croft(tomb raider),Maria(silent hill 2),Fiona(Haunting ground), and Mari(drawn to life,which was kinda creepy). They went into the next room,which was the main area. There was a shadow figure on the sofa. Harry,thinking it was a ghost,took a picture and got a message.

Message:"Sorry I hit you. Can I still get the full time? NO! (Spray) AHHHHH,My eyes! I'm telling Claire what a lousy boyfriend you are!"

They went upstairs. Harry saw this corny heart shaped jewelery box. He thought he could pawn whatever jewels were in there so he went over and opened it. He shrieked and fell down.

Johnny:"What is it? Is it one of those annoying giant cockroaches?"

Harry:"No,it's an Ant surrounded by a golden barrier."

Johnny looked in the box and pulled out an amber with an ant inside.

Johnny:"It's just another memento."

He threw it to Harry,who stuffed it in his memento box. After rummaging through various undergarments and other sexy items,they went out to the roof.

Harry:"I'm sure we can make that jump. It's only a 10ft gap."

Johnny:"Thats easy for you to say,you're a _Mirror's Edge_ enthusiast."

Harry gave a mighty leap over the gap. Johnny also leaped,but he fell. Harry was about to go inside Wonderland burgers,but when he turned around he saw Johnny.

Harry:"How did you-"

Johnny:"It turns out there was a Ladder that we never noticed."

Harry groaned and they went downstairs. Harry got an echo message when he passed a red apron.

Message:"I can't believe they banned the choking game. How come the teachers are still allowed to wear those neck-tight shirts? Those could be counted as choking. Now I can't wear my blue ribbon around my neck anymore."

Harry:"This place is closed,so we'll have to make the food ourselves."

Johnny:"No prob,I'll just see whats in the freezer."

He opened it and came back with a barbie doll.

Johnny:"There nothing in there,just this naked doll."

Harry:"I'll take it,I can give it to Meryl for her birthday."

Johnny:"What are we gonna eat? We'll starve."

Harry:"I guess we could dig through the trashcans."

Johnny:"Sweet."

They went into the main area. Harry saw the Phone number for Wonderland Burgers.

Number:"800-UNORIGINAL"

He called that number.

Phone:"Hi,you have reached the wonderland burgers hotline. To request health information...PRESS 1! To schedule parties...PRESS 2! To learn more about our amazing prices..."

Harry:"Hmmm,must have hung-"

Phone:"PRESS 3!"

Harry fell to the ground. A banana peel landed on his face. Johnny was digging through the garbage can like a dog. Harry got up and got an Echo message when he walked by a tray of leftover food.

Johnny:"FOOD!"

Johnny grabbed the leftover burger and started eating it,despite the fact it had mushrooms on it.

Message:"Why can't you go out with me? Because your a whiny little bitch who constantly cheats on his girlfriend and leaves his food sit out over night! That didn't stop Claire from going out with me. Claire's a fat tomboyish whore thats obsessed with the color red,meaning shes a communist. Is there anyone you don't dis? Well,there's my dad,who divorced my mother and embarrassed me at the amusement park."

Johnny:"Alright,I'm stuffed,lets blow."

They left through the now unlocked door.

?:"HEY,MASON!"

Harry turned around to see Alan Wake running towards him,still covered in permanent ink.

Alan:"MY WIFE DIVORCED ME BECAUSE OF THIS CRAP IN MY HAIR! I'M GONNA KILL YOU GOOD!"

He pulled out a revolver and started shooting at them. They ran across the street. Harry threw the naked doll at him,which landed in front of him and made him trip. As he was getting up, a car with the License plate 'NIKO' ran over him. He was getting up again when a car with the license plate 'TOMMY' ran over him. He managed to stand up,but only to get hit by a car with the license plate 'CLAUDE' and was thrown into the air and crashed into Toluca Mall's Movie theater's popcorn machine.

Harry saw the phone number for midwich elementary on a sign,so he called it.

Phone:"This is Midwich Elementary,we are no longer accepting students. Especially ones that have ghost fathers. And remember,THE CHOKING GAME IS NOT SILENT HILL LAW!"

They saw some cars trapped in the parking lot.

Johnny:"Damn,who would be working at a time like this."

Harry got an echo message as he passed it.

Message:"You got all your money,now show me some love. Fine,lets get this over with. You aren't going to hit me are you? Of course not,you can trust me."

They went to the front door to find it locked.

Harry:"How are people supposed to take shelter here if they can't even get in?"

Johnny:"Lets sneak in through a window."

Johnny tried to open this one window,but it wouldn't budge. Harry noted the nails in it.

Harry:"The teachers must really want their kids to stay in school."

He pulled them out and opened the window. They both climbed in. Harry saw another shadow figure so he took a picture of it.

Message:"That's a nice belt. Thanks,I got it for my birthday. I know,lets play the choking game! Good Idea,I'll go first. EECCCCCHHH UUUCHHHH. Alright my turn. David? You alright? Is it alright if I take your wallet? I hope they don't ban this game,or my name isn't Steve Burnside."

Johnny:"I feel a heavenly presence nearby."

Harry:"Where?"

Johnny pointed at a metal cabinet. Harry opened it and grabbed a saint Christopher medallion.

Harry:"The electrician must be catholic."

He threw it in his memento box and they continued down the hallway. Harry saw a shadow on a bench.

Harry:"MERYL!"

The figure ran away. He got a message as he passed the bench.

Message:"I know it's cold,but theres no way way in hell I'm taking my clothes off and cuddling with you! But arctic explorers do it all the time. Screw you Steve,I knew you were gay the first time we met on Rockford Island!"

Johnny:"Which way should we go now?"

The lockers spun around to reveal Parker and G.X.

Parker:"Which way should they go? That's for you to decide!"

G.X:"Biology and Astronomy or chemistry and Art? You choose!"

Parker:"When you review this story-"

G.X:"IF they review this story."

Parker:"If you review this story,include in your review where you want them to go."

G.X:"The largest number of votes determines it."

Parker:"Spencer,err,Leon will begin writing the outline for the next chapter on June 30."

G.X:"If you bitches are too lazy to vote,he'll choose where they go."

Parker:"Votes after the said date will not count. So get your ass in gear."

G.X:"The Locations are Chemistry and Art,or Biology and Astronomy."

Parker:"We strongly encourage you to vote,even if Fanfiction net's guidelines says you can't,that didn't stop other stories from doing it."

G.X:"Please don't ban us !"

Parker:"See you sometime in July!"

to be continued...

**A/N:"My boys pretty much summed it up."**

**SURPREMASISTS SUCK!**


	7. Demonology part 2

Chapter 7:demonology part 2

Disclaimer:I don't own legend of spyro,Silent hill,Final Fantasy,Obscure,Grand theft Auto,Overblood. I do own Layer,Teare,Layer's children,and Johnny. The song is "I want love" by Akira something

Caution:The message below is not to be taken seriously,if you do take it seriously,you are a numbskull.

Message:Alright,first off,NOT A SINGLE VOTE? Are we in North Korea or something? I specifically said that you morons could vote to see where Harry goes,and yet not one vote! I'm not the only guy who lets his reviewer's vote,why do you vote for other people's stories and not mine? Is it because you think I'm a disgusting freak who pretends to be a hot chick on Facebook? I don't even trust Facebook! Of course,I had to choose where they go myself because you stubborn wenches are too lazy to vote!

* * *

Another thing,due the the goody-two-shoes brown nosed ways of Critics United,I'm now writing this story in Novel format. I know it's like changing Final fantasy 4 to Final Fantasy 2 in japan,but get used to it. You've been through change before haven't you? If you are a veteran,I salute you. As an added treat,I just got my wisdom teeth removed (time this was written),so don't be disgusted by the bloody holes in my mouth. Jeez,I sound like Ellen,on with the story.

Harry and Johnny fell asleep on the bench while I was jabbering on. They quickly woke up as the story began.

"So where we going?" Johnny said.

Harry grabbed a yellow envelope.

"And the only vote,by our loving author of course,is-"He said opening the envelope.

There was a dramatic pause,Layer's child watched with contempt. Johnny also did. Harry pulled the paper out and looked at it,still pausing.

"WILL YOU JUST TELL US THE DAMN VOTE!" Johnny yelled.

"Alright,it's Biology and Astronomy."Harry replied.

"Finally,we've been sitting here for like,20 days." Johnny said.

"Hopefully we'll find some pictures of boobs in the Biology room."Harry said with a smile.

They went through a nearby door and they entered a hallway that was almost pitch black,lit only by Harry's flashlight.

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto."Johnny said.

A little shaggy dog that appeared next to him barked. It was grabbed and eaten by this monster who's appearance is so difficult to see can not be described.

"At least we encountered a new enemy." Harry said.

Suddenly,a teenage boy in blue jeans and a red jersey wielding an H&K VP70 with a flashlight taped to it came out from around the corner and shot at it. It had no effect,but then a teenage girl with a red top and black skirt wielding a metal bat charged at the monster and hit it. The boy shined his flashlight on it and it's black aura disappeared. The girl beat it with her bat.

"Wait,schools,darkness,black auras,flashlights taped to guns,teenage kids,weakness to light,by god thats it!" Harry said as the creature threw the girl to the ground.

"What?" Johnny asked. The boy's flashlight overheated and the monster attacked him.

"We must have taken a wrong turn,we're in _Obscure_." He said as the monster plunged it's claws in the Boy's chest.

"Oh,I guess it is pretty obvious with the flashlights taped to guns." Johnny said.

"Excuse me,but can you guys give us a hand?" said the girl,who was trying to crawl away from the monster.

"Sorry,we have zero combat potential." Harry said as she was impaled by the monster's claws too. They backtracked and found their way to the biology room.

Harry grabbed a text book and flipped through it,not finding any trace of breasts. Johnny saw a 2D frog from _Frogger_ hopping around on the table. He was annoyed by it's cheap sound affects and picked up a nearby scalpel and chased it around the table with it until he nailed it on the chest and tore it open. A ring popped out,which he picked up and gave to Harry.

"Ooooo,this might be worth something at a pawnshop. Or I could give it to Meryl for her birthday." Harry said.

They ditched the biology class (very similar manner to Harry's high school career) and went up some stairs into a planetarium.

"Hey,we wound up in _silent hill 1_,everythings going to be alright!" Harry said.

"Actually,that isn't the real sky." Johnny said.

"Damn,I thought we were at the light house." Harry said.

His phone picked up static again,it led him to the projector. He got a message.

"And here we have Ursa Major. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What? Oh,Mr. Vercetti,would you please step up here? Hell no,see ya sucker! Get back here you little brat! (BANG) (BANG) (BANG) (THUMP)" The message played.

"He must have written something dirty on Ursa Major." Johnny said.

"I doubt it,since this is a T-rated fic." Harry replied.

They tried to take the exit door,but it was locked.

"It's probably another corny puzzle." Johnny said.

"YA THINK?" Harry said holding his arms out.

They went up to the control panel and turned on the stars,no not the S.T.A.R.S group from _Resident Evil_,not in a game like this. Then they looked at the star charts,one looked like a horse,one looked like a gun and another looked like 2 bowling balls.

"Ha Ha,boobs." Johnny said pointing at the last one.

Ursa major was the big dipper (or as I call it,the big who-gives-a-crap?). Harry spun the sphere around until he found it. There was a message on it.

"Tommy Vercetti,kill your wife for 50 bucks,no questions asked. 555-8903" It read.

Harry called that number and the doors unlocked themselves.

"How the hell did that happen?" Harry said.

Johnny was sitting on the sphere and spun himself around on it.

"Johnny,get off that thing!" Harry Said.

"But it's fun!" Johnny said,still spinning.

"I know,I want a turn. My daughter can wait." Harry said as he jumped on the sphere too. They spun round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round and...and...and...and...I feel like I'm about to hurl.

After I vomited on my floor,the sphere came loose and flung the guys off. They both got up and puked on each other. As they left,the sphere exploded. As they walked up these stairs,a small shadow figure ran away from them.

"Damn it Meryl! Stop running from your father! If I were Alex Shepard I would have shot her dead." Harry said.

Flash back...

Alex tore the head off of Aphxyia?. He saw Josh on the other side of the windows.

"JOSH! Don't you dare-" Alex said walking towards him,and Josh ran off.

"THAT DOES IT! I'm through being a good brother!" Alex yelled pulling out his M14 and shooting Josh in the head.

"Whoops,SORRY, I WAS AIMING FOR YOUR LEG!" he yelled to Josh's corpse.

Back to the game...

Harry and Johnny were walking down this hall when Harry got a text message. He looked at it.

"How do you like my new look?" It said with a picture of a half naked woman,from Dahlia.

"What the hell? Who the hell is this bitch?" He said showing it to Johnny.

"I don't know,but I would so do her!" Johnny said.

Harry snatched his phone back as they came across a poster.

"555-6382 for over-the-phone therapy." It said. Harry called it.

Meanwhile,at the Light house...

Dr. K's office was a mess,the wine bottles were smashed to pieces,it's shards were in his hands. His chair was flipped over. The blood of his secretary was on his clothing. His desk was also overturned,various ink blot pictures spilled out from it. He Smashed his head through his TV and threw it aside. He stood over the patient.

"Why can't you do anything besides shaking your head? I hate you,I hate you,I HATE YOU!" he yelled,angry and crying.

His phone rang he charged over to his desk and dug it out from all the papers.

"WHAT!" He yelled in a voice so loud it would make Riddick cower in terror.

"uuuhhhhhh,Is this the open therapy line?" Harry asked.

"NO! NO,ITS NOT THE OPEN THERAPY LINE! IT'S THE DEATH STAR! DARTH VADER SPEAKING,HOW MAY I HELP YOU?" K yelled.

Harry hung up on him. K threw the phone out his massive window. He reached in his liquor cabinet and pulled out some Vodka. He swigged an entire bottle,belched and passed out.

Harry and Johnny passed another poster,this one gave Harry an Echo message.

"Okay,settle down,it's just one little kiss. It's not like I'm in love with Claire or anything. Shes too tomboyish. Well,alright,lets get it on. SWEET,I"M FINALLY GETTING LAID!" It said.

Harry felt the handle of the locker he was leaning against and opened it.

"Check it out,this locker's open." Harry said opening it.

"What's in it?" Johnny said.

"Just some gay news paper clipping of two guy's jerseys." Harry said,crumpling the paper up.

He opened another locker and picked up a Rose in a glass orb.

"Must have been stolen by some crazy Disney fan." He said.

They moved to these double doors with a keypad. It had 1053 scratched in it's corner.

"Oh,someone was kind enough to leave the number for us." Harry said.

"I doubt it's that easy." Johnny said.

But Harry punched in the numbers anyway,the lock didn't do anything.

"Damn it,it must be broken." Harry said.

"Hmmm,I bet those jersey numbers have something-" Johnny said before he was interrupted by a lound ping,which was Harry jamming his knife in the keypad. He pried it off and started messing with the wires.

"The author isn't gonna let you get away with-" Johnny said as the door opened.

"I learned how to do that in _Legendary_." He said with a smile.

They strolled outside,in to another courtyard. They heard a loud repeating noise.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Harry yelled.

"IT SOUNDS LIKE A HELICOPTER." Johnny yelled.

A Blackhawk helicopter came into range and hovered over them.

"Hey,did someone order a helicopter?" The pilot yelled.

"It's that drunk chick!" Harry said.

"Can I have my beer now?" She said.

"Here you go!" Johnny said throwing a can right at her face,knocking her out. She fell on the controls and drifted the helicopter right into the building Harry and Johnny came out of. Everything collapsed on the helicopter and set it on fire.

"Should we help her?" Johnny asked.

"Hell no,the bitch is on her own." Harry said.

They walked up to the doors of the gymnasium. Harry got an Echo message from a heart-shaped balloon.

"Here's to our new relationship,Steve. What? Oh,right,new relationship. Stupid bitch. I know,Cheryl is a stupid bitch. Shes sexier though,and not tomboyish. Claire,you know I would never cheat on you right? Of course I do Steve. Good,then you'd never expect me to cheat with Cheryl so you won't kill me. Yes." It said. Harry popped the balloon with his knife and they went in the gym.

It was dark and various tables were set up. Suddenly the curtains opened up,revealing a woman in a pink dress.

_How much is that doggie in the window?_ She sang. Harry and Johnny sat down at one of the tables.

_I sure hope that doggie is DDDDEEAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDD! _She yelled,which startled Harry and Johnny. She tore off her dress,revealing a black leotard. The back curtain opened,revealing a dark cavern setting. 2 other dancers in black leotards joined her. She twirled her hair around,while her companions swung from trapeze ropes.

_I need a miracle_

_and not so much charity_

_One drop of love from here_

_and my hearts in ecstasy_

Harry and Johnny were disturbed by this performance.

"BOO,YOU SUCK!" Johnny said as he threw a flower vase at the girl,which knocked her off the stage. Harry was about to get up,when she popped up right in front of their table.

"Hi,I'm Michelle,did you like my performance?" She said.

"No,it sucked donkey balls" Johnny said. Harry shoved the naked doll in his mouth.

"It was,different." Harry said.

"Thanks,I couldn't have done it without Raz and Milly." She said,waving to her companions.

"Are they from-" Harry began.

"Yes,from _Overblood_. It was hard for them to find work. So,why are you here? Catching up on some missed classes?" Michelle said.

"Hell no,we're looking for his daughter." Johnny said.

"Yeah,I'm Harry Mason,this is Johnny. I thought I would find my daughter Meryl here." Harry said.

"I don't know any Meryl's,but I do know a Cheryl Mason." Michelle said.

"Cheryl,that might be her name,I can't really remember. Car wreck." Harry said.

"Don't worry,been there before." Michelle said,trying to wink,but couldn't because she was on Botox.

"How do you know her?" Johnny asked.

"She comes to this school." Michelle said,still trying to wink.

"That's impossible,she's only 7." Harry said.

"There's a picture of her back here." Michelle said,guiding them to this bulletin board. The picture showed a blonde teenage girl drinking from a beer bong.

"It can't be,it must be someone else with my name,I know at least 2 others." Harry said.

"Who?" Johnny asked.

"Alex Mason from _Call of duty:Black Ops_ and Nick Mason from _Urban Chaos:Riot Response_. She must be related to one of them." Harry Answered.

"I know where we can find out." Michelle said,who finally used her fingers to wink.

"No way bitch,we ain't going to your bedroom." Johnny sneered.

"I meant the principal's office." Michelle said,as she injected some more botox in her head.

"Sure,lets hurry up before Cybil gets here." Harry said.

7 seconds of a black screen later...

Johnny smashed the door to the principal's office down (Because you can do that in cut scenes).

"He has addresses of every student on his computer." Michelle said.

"What a stalker." Harry said.

He took a seat at the principal's computer.

"Don't mind me,I'll just be texting my boyfriend." She said pulling out her cell phone.

Harry started the computer and it asked for a password. He put Sunday45 because he read the strategy guide. Yet it didn't work.

"What the Hell!" Harry said as he punched the unit. He clicked on "forgot password?"

"What's the name of my damn ex-wife?" It asked. Harry looked around. He saw a picture of a woman with a big cross drawn over her,he saw a Picture of Regina from _Dino Crisis_,and a picture of Ember,the pink dragon from Spyro. He typed "ember". It was correct.

"What is my most prized possession?" Harry looked around again. He saw a gold trophy,a Pair of sneakers signed by The Pointman,a double barreled shotgun,and a stapler. He entered "stapler",it worked.

"Who is my least favorite parody writer on Fan Fiction net?" Harry didn't need any clues for this one. He typed "Leon 13",it worked. The password was "the prinze".

Harry access the database and clicked on Cheryl's name,it froze. Cheryl lived on Simmons street.

"It froze." Harry said.

"OOOOhhh,your getting detention!"Michelle said.

"He's not even enrolled in this school,bitch." Johnny said.

"Hey,theres a phone number,I'll try calling it." Harry said as he pulled out his phone.

"Damn,the reception in this place is horrible." He said as he and Johnny went out the door.

"Good luck." Michelle said as she used the monitor to apply some make-up to her face.

Harry managed to get a signal and called the number.

"Hello?" the phone said.

"Cheryl? Are you there? It's daddy baby!" harry said.

"Who the hell is this?" The phone sneered.

"I just told you,Harry Mason,have you been taking you Sylvan classes sweetie?" Harry asked.

"HARRY! How dare you call here! It's kind of peaceful without you." The phone said.

"Who is this?" Harry asked,before the phone hung up.

"Someone broke into my house,they're holding Meryl hostage!" Harry claimed.

"Whoa,looks like we got bigger problems." Johnny said.

"What the hell do you-" Harry said before he saw the world ice over.

"Damn IT,I hate these stupid ice levels. Meryl,HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!" Harry yelled.

"I thought her name was Cheryl." Johnny said.

"Shut up." Harry said.

To be continued...

**A/N:Sorry if you found the novel format difficult to read,please review,don't take anything I said earlier serious,without you,this story would be stuck at chapter 1.**

**SUPREMACISTS SUCK!**


	8. PedoStasis

Chapter 8:Pedo-stasis

Disclaimer:Are you deaf or something? I don't own Silent Hill,Overblood,Resident evil,Legend of Spyro,Tomb raider,Haunting ground,Echo Night,or Final Fantasy. I do own Johnny,Andrew,Layer,Layer's children,and Teare.

Harry and Johnny strolled down the hall of the frozen school.

"They could at least add some blood stained halls or flesh covered walls." Harry said.

"At least we didn't see any rawshocks yet." Johnny said. They walked past these doors that were slammed shut by hiding rawshocks. They grabbed the duo and it looked like they were molesting them. Harry and Johnny threw them off and limped away.

"Damn these stupid video game laws." Harry said. He pulled out that saint Christopher medallion he found earlier and turned to the Rawshocks.

"BE GONE EVIL DEMONS!" He yelled as nothing happened. He threw the medallion away and ran off with Johnny. They came to a large hole in the wall.

"Okay,now they're just reusing old crap." Harry said as they ran through it. Before they got to the next room,Cindy from _Resident Evil:outbreak_ was running from some Rawshocks too.

"I wish my personal item was a shotgun." She said as she hid in a locker. Harry and Johnny pulled it down to slow pursuing rawshocks,trapping her.

"Hey,let me out of here,I'm stuck!" She cried as she pounded on the door.

"At least those zombies can't get me." She said as a rawshock shot his arm through the locker and pulled her out and tore her head off. Harry and Johnny ran straight into a pack of rawshocks past this door.

"Looking for this?" A rawshock said holding up a flare.

"Your finished now." He said as he handed it to another rawshock.

"No big deal,we'll just start back at the beginning of the nightmare." Harry said flicking him off.

"Why you little-" the rawshock said as the other one opened the flare and they all cowered before it's light.

"TIMMY! YOU RETARED PIECE OF CRAP!" he yelled as Johnny and Harry ran past them. They ran through these double doors and found themselves in a hall with 4 figures blocking a door. Harry got a message when he walked up to them.

"Damn it,the damn paparazzi have been taking revealing photos of the school's most attractive girls. What bothers me is that I can't even see them,I haven't seen a naked woman in years." It said. They inspected the figures. One was Claire Redfield from _Resident Evil_. The second was Fiona from _Haunting Ground_. The third was Lara Croft from _Tomb raider_. The fourth was-

"?" It yelled,it was Raz Karcy from _Overblood_.

"Damn it,you scared the living hell out of us!" Harry yelled,punching Raz in the gut.

"How the hell did you avoid getting freezed?" Johnny asked.

"I've grown immune to freezing ever since I wandered through that sub zero that lab." Raz said,with blood coming out of his mouth.

"So I take it the author wants you to follow us the rest of this corny game?" Harry asked.

"Yep,the more people,the better. He basically stole that idea from other authors though." Raz said.

"Don't say stuff like that,he can hear us you know." Johnny said.

"Screw this,lets blow." Harry said as he kicked one of the Ice figures,breaking his leg.

"At least the damage goes away after awhile in this game." He said as his leg healed.

"I'm surprised that the rawshocks haven't come in here yet." Johnny said.

"It must be protected by a magical barrier like in _Final Fantasy 4_." Raz said,who now had lots of blood dripping on the floor.

"It's probably the same tech that protects the safe rooms in _Resident Evil_." Harry said.

Meanwhile,outside...

The rawshocks were gathered around the double doors.

"Curse these infernal safe rooms!" One shouted as he banged on them. Another slammed a Sledge Hammer on them,which broke it. One tried to chainsaw it,dulling the blade. One tried to chop it with a fire axe,broke. The last one planted some C4 on it and they all ran for cover.

Back inside...

"Okay,this message is about paparazzi,so it must have something to do with sexy stuff." Harry guessed.

"Johnny,take off your clothes." He said to Johnny pulling out his phone.

"WUT!" Johnny screeched.

"Naked people are excellent targets for paparazzi." Harry said.

"I think we're supposed to take photo's of these girls naked." Raz said.

"Ugh,That must be what the designer wants." harry said,putting his phone away and walking towards the exit.

"Do you guys have any Hemostats? This bleeding is getting out of hand." Raz said,who's chest was almost soaked in blood.

"Walk it off." Harry said. They left the room,as the rawshocks watched.

"They're getting away." One said as they ran past the doors right as the C4 exploded,injuring,but not killing,them. Harry and the gang wandered around more and found another Flare.

"Sweet,let it shine baby,LET IT SHINE!" Johnny yelled.

"There aren't any monsters around,douchebag." Harry said. They came to a window and saw a girl behind it wearing only a white sheet.

"I'd call that a paparazzi target." Harry said,as he tried to pull out his phone.

"Aren't you going to snap it?" Raz asked.

"The damn game won't let me use my phone while holding a flare." Harry said.

"Let me use it." Johnny said,taking Harry's phone and taking a picture of the girl. He received a message.

"Don't listen to it now,there are rawshocks all over the place." Harry said as they started running again. Eventually,they came to a parked car with a woman in it.

"Must be the next target." Johnny said as he tried to take a photo,but a rawshock grabbed him and Raz.

"I WUV YOU!" It said.

"Harry,use the flare!" Johnny yelled.

"I can't believe _Alice:Madness returns_ got a 6." Harry said as he leaned on the car reading a gameinformer.

"HARRY!" Johnny yelled.

"Alright,stop yapping." Harry said as he opened the flare and the rawshock cowered. Johnny snapped a photo and got another message. They ran away again. Soon they came to a hole in the wall that showed a woman in the locker room shower.

"Definitely material,even if it isn't,I'm still taking it." Johnny said as he got the picture and received a message. Harry snatched his phone back as they ran back to the puzzle room. A wall of Rawshock's blocked them.

"Your not getting away this time,you'll never reveal the truth." One of them said. A shot rang out and it fell dead. Raz saw a woman with a white handgun.

"MILLY!" He yelled reaching out to her.

"Go Raz,get through this stupid story." She yelled as she kept shooting the Rawshocks.

"I can't leave without you!" Raz yelled.

"Just go!" Milly yelled as she was tackled by a Rawshock. Sad nun music played in the background as the game slowed down. Harry pulled Raz to the exit,who was still reaching out to Milly as she was engulfed by rawshocks. They were in the safe room,the figures were now gone.

"Sorry you had to leave her behind,dude." Johnny said to Raz.

"Nah,it's cool,she was a wimp anyway." Raz said. Harry decided to listen to those messages.

"Damn that Debilitas freak. He stole my clothes again and left me in a white sheet. When I get my hands on him,I'll tear his freakishly huge arms off!" The first one said.

"I can't believe Steve cheated on me! That rat bastard! He said he loved me! That never happened to Chris with Jill! Then again,Jill's friend Carlos looks like fun,if it weren't for his accent." The second said.

"Jeez,can't a girl shower in peace? First there was that camera in my mansion's bathroom,now I heard there's paparazzi around the school. I hope this locker room doesn't have a freakishly large hole people can take pics of me through." the last one said. The guys went through the doors and the Ice melted away.

"Woohoo! We did it!" Johnny said.

"Great,only 10 more chapters to go." Harry said,frowning.

* * *

"Maybe I can hook up with that chick from _Echo Night 2_." Raz said.

Layer's child threw up on the floor next to her,disgusted with the game. Layer came up into the room.

"What's wrong sweetie?" she asked. Her child pointed to the game.

"Don't worry,mommy will make it all better." Layer said as she put the game and memory card back in it's box and threw it out the window,hitting Andrew,another red Allosauraus like Alex,on the head as he was passing on the sidewalk. He picked it up. Having no other good games to play,he took it home with him.

"Damn it,will you get off your lazy ass for once and clean up your trash?" Layer yelled from inside the house.

To be continued...

**If you develop a liking to Andrew (or any diapered cartoon),ask me in your review or Pm to learn where you can read a story featuring him. I can't say here because I'm afraid it will give you a bad impression of me. Be warned,it involves lots of diapers.**

**Supremacists suck...**


	9. Trading Whores

Chapter 9: Trading whores

Disclaimer: I'm tired of repeating myself,I don't own Silent Hill,Overblood,Dead Space,Klonoa,Metro2033,Alone in the dark,Call of duty,Resident Evil,The Wiggles,Boland. I do own Andrew and Johnny.

Andrew put the disk and memory card in his PS2. His older brother,Boland(Blue sweatshirt and jeans if your curious), stood in front of him.

"You said I could play one of my Games next." He said.

"Piss off,I got a new game. I let you play next time." Andrew said.

"You said that the last 13 times." Boland answered.

"Beat it or I'll tell mom you hit me again." Andrew said,leaning against the couch.

* * *

"Screw you,you little prick." Boland said walking away. Andrew turned on what would be the most boring game in his life.

Harry,Johnny,and Raz walked down the hall of the normal school. They heard footsteps behind them.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! The rawshocks followed us here!" Raz yelled as he spun around and hit Michelle over the head with a round house kick,throwing her to the ground.

"Damn it,you just hit a girl." Said Harry,helping her up.

"Raz,have you been sniffing that emergency spray again?" Michelle asked.

"Hey,it smells good." Raz said,sniffing the opening of the emergency spray item from _Overblood_.

"Did you call your little bitch?" Michelle asked Harry.

"Nah,some evil witch or something was there,but no Meryl." Harry asked.

"Cheryl." Michelle corrected.

"Whatever. I have to get to Simmons street,that's were she lives." Harry said.

"I can drive you there in my boss's car." Michelle said.

"Why do you have access to your boss's car?" Johnny asked.

"_I'm like a bird,I wanna fly away._" Raz sang as he flapped his arms,high.

"Hell,it's better than walking around using this gay GPS thing." Harry said. They left the building and started walking down the street.

"GOD! I can't go any further!" Raz yelled as he collapsed on the ground.

"We've only walked 5 feet." Johnny pointed out.

"I know,It's horrible!" Raz yelled,drinking a Gatorade.

"Lets use my GPS thingy." Harry said pulling out his phone.

"Where do you work,diva." Harry asked.

"The strip club." Michelle said,not at all changing her look.

"Your in high school and you work at a strip club?" Harry asked.

"Sweet! M rated content,here we come!" Johnny said.

"Okay,it's this way." Harry said as he walked right into a garbage can,knocking it over and Oscar from _Sesame Street_ fell out.

"You home wrecking bozos! I outta have the law on you! I hate you puzzle game fre-" Oscar said before he was cut off, after Raz stabbed him in the neck with his Laser Knife.

"Oh my god,why did you kill him?" Michelle shrieked,but still had a happy smile on her motionless face.

"He was a spy,working for Jim Hanson's worst enemy,Baby Einstein!" Raz said.

"Why didn't you use that on the rawshocks?" Harry asked.

"Because we'd lose a lot of 'evading enemies' jokes." Raz answered. He tried to lick the blood off the blade,but it burnt his tongue. After walking a few more blocks,they came to the club,before they went through the door,Michelle blocked them.

"You got any ID?" She said jokingly.

"Mine's fake." Johnny said.

"Mine's for my Cwone(clone)." Raz said,tongue sticking out.

"Mine was confiscated by a cop." Harry said.

"Really?" Michelle asked,smiling.

"I can't take you seriously with that look." Harry said.

"Okay." She said. She put a put on a mask that looked just like the one Megabite's sister wore in _Reboot_.

"How about now?" She said through the frowning mask.

"Now your too creepy." Harry said. Michelle put on Rorshach's Mask from _Watchmen_.

"Nope,still ridiculous." Harry said. Michelle put on the yellow serverbot mask from _Megaman:legends_.

"No." Harry said. Michelle put on the checkered mask Slegar wore in _Mattimeo_.

"No." Harry said. Michelle put on several other masks,including Needles Kane's mask from _Twisted Metal_, Ethan Thomas' Alter Ego's mask from _Condemned 2:Bloodshot_, and Diz's mask from _Kingdom Hearts 2_. Harry said no to all of them.

"You know what,take off the masks. The cop really did take my ID. She was last seen hanging with the Furries." Harry said.

"Oh,okay." Michelle said as she took off the Blinding mask from _Fatal Frame 1_,her eyes still stuck to it's blades. She plucked them off,popped them back in their sockets and they went into the club,which was empty.

"I knew it was too good to be true." Johnny said.

"The keys are in my room. Can you go get them?" Michelle asked.

"Why can't you get them? It's your room." Raz said,tongue still out.

"Because I'm getting a drink,and when I drink,I can't even walk up steps." Michelle said.

"Your gonna drive us there,while drunk?" Harry asked.

"Yeah,haven't you?" Michelle asked.

"Maybe,at the start of the game." Harry said.

"At least she didn't use one of those 'game device' jokes." Johnny said. They went up the stairs and Harry got another text message,from Dahlia.

"Hey,wanna do it?" It read.

"Who the hell is this bitch and why does she keep texting me?" Harry said,deleting her message. They got into Michelle's room.

Meanwhile,at the Lighthouse...

Dr. K sat in his chair,with a bottle of liquor.

"Many things can determine your personality. Like searching inappropriate places when looking for a key in your friend's room." he slurred.

Back to Harry...

"Don't go fiddling through my things." Michelle yelled from downstairs,accompanied by a loud belch. Johnny immediately tore open her laundry hamper and grabbed her panties,which he pressed against his face.

"Where the hell did you leave your keys?" Harry yelled downstairs.

"I don't know, check everywhere,except my Jewelery box-" She yelled as Raz opened her Jewelery box,which contained 20 syringes of Botox.

"-My Purse-" She continued as Harry shifted through her purse and took fifty bucks out of it.

"-Behind the curtain-" She went on as Raz tripped and tore the curtain off it's hangers,revealing a box of porn mags.

"-And most importantly,My hamper." She finished as Johnny crawled into the hamper and draped underwear over his head. Raz found a plastic cookie jar.

"Mmmm,Cookies." He said as he opened it and held it over his mouth,sliding a key in his mouth. He choked and Harry had to give him the Heimlich maneuver like earlier in the game. He spit the key out,as well as a keycard,a voice recorder,a capsule marked "A.R.N.A",a computer chip,a handgun clip,a car battery,and an Anti-Gravity device. Harry picked up the key with a plastic glove.

"What is all this junk?" He asked,looking at all the random items on the floor.

"Just some stuff I ate because I was so hungry,in _Overblood_" He replied. Harry and Raz started back downstairs,Johnny not realizing it until they left,he knocked the hamper over and ran down after them. Michelle was drinking a big-ass glass of Gin.

"Hang on,I want to finish my cocktail." She said taking a massive sip.

"I'm gonna put a band-aid on my tongue." Raz said,going into the bathroom.

"Are those my underwear?" Michelle asked Johnny,who was wearing her panties on his head.

",No,they're mine,I'm gonna go put them back on." Johnny said as he also ran into the bathroom.

"I hope you find your daughter and wife." Michelle said.

"My who?" Harry asked.

"Your wife? The woman you got your ring from?" Michelle said,pointing to Harry's ring.

"Oh,I didn't notice that." Harry said as he ran into the bathroom. He splashed some water on his face and looked in the mirror. He saw Alyessa,from _Silent Hill:Origins_ on the other side.

"Oh Alyessa,if Only I could touch the glass and enter a game that is actually fun." Harry said,touching the glass. Harry felt the urge to vomit,he ran into a stall and was about to puke in the toilet,but James Sunderland from _Silent Hill 2_ was reaching down in it. Harry ran to the next stall,Raz was flushing random items down it. He ran to the next stall,where Johnny was making out with Regina from _Dino __Crisis_. He ran to the last stall and finally puked.

They all finished what they were doing and went outside. Michelle was gone,and a creepy goth woman was sitting in her place.

"Hey,you got my boss's keys?" She asked.

"Where's Michelle?" Harry asked.

"Who the hell is Michelle,you cheating on me?" She said.

"Hey there sexy." Johnny said,rubbing his chest,before getting maced by the woman.

"Hey,can I have some of that spray too?" Raz asked as she sprayed him too.

"Come on,we going to see Cheryl or what?" The woman said,pulling Harry towards the door.

"You know Meryl?" Harry asked.

"You don't remember me? I'm Dahlia,the hottest piece of-" Dahlia said before Harry stopped her.

"Piece of Ass in town,and your Harry,normally a fun guy to hang out with." She continued.

"I'm fun? Say,your the bitch who sent me those text messages!" Harry asked as Dahlia took off his glasses.

"Why you wearing these for?" She asked.

"Because it makes me easy to be made fun of by the player. Ain't that right,Andy?" Harry said to the camera.

"Uh,yeah,whatever." Andrew answered,creeped out.

"These guys have to come too,they help with the jokes." Harry said.

"Whatever,lets blow." She said as they all got in her van. Raz amused himself by rolling the window up and down.

"One way,screw that,lets cut through here." Dahlia said as she drove through a one way section.

"Dahlia,I was in a car crash and can't remember much." Harry said.

"Damn it Harry,I can't take this! This is the seventh time you've given me the Amnesia excuse!" Dahlia yelled. Johnny turned the radio's knob.

"Don't touch anything." Dahlia said.

"I'm just playing with the radio." Johnny said.

"Stop,that's my favorite channel!" Dahlia said as she turned it the other way.

"That channel's crap,this channel's the bomb." Harry said as he turned it.

"Lets bust a groove!" Raz said as he turned it with his foot. The music from _Klonoa:Door To Phantomile_ came on.

"Screw that!" Dahlia said as she turned it back to her channel. The car shook as it ran over something.

"Crap,we killed someone!" Harry screamed. Dahlia stopped the car and they all got out. They ran over Arytom from _Metro 2033_,gasmask on.

"When the car hit me,I thought my Journey was over" He said,typing on his typewiter.

"Longous Monologus. A bad case of monologuing." Harry said. He threw 20 bucks on Arytom and they got back in the car and drove away. They came to the bridge,which was raised.

"Yo Harry,can you lower the bridge?" Dahlia asked.

"Sure,what the hell." Harry said,leaving the car.

"Lets sing a song until he returns!" Raz said.

"Lets not and say we did."Dahlia said.

"OH GIVE ME A HOME,WHERE THE BUFFALO ROAM!-" Raz sang before being punched in the face by Johnny. Meanwhile,Harry climbed into the control tower.

"Gotta be some instructions or some crap like that around here." He said. He saw a blue arrow over the cabinet in the corner. He opened and saw a phone number,which he called.

Meanwhile,in an apartment somewhere,Isaac Clarke awoke to the phone. He picked it up by his bed.

"Who the hell is this?" he croaked.

"Hi,can you tell me how to lower the bridge?" Harry asked.

"It's 3 in the morning! Why the hell do you want to lower the bridge?" Isaac yelled.

"Because...uh...I'm holding your girlfriend hostage!" Harry said.

"My girlfriend's dead,I keep seeing her specter everywhere,tormenting me." Isaac said.

"Isaac.." The specter of Isaac's dead girlfriend said,floating by his bed.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Isaac screamed as he grabbed the phone's receiver and slammed it on his girlfriend's head. He quickly grabbed his Plasma cutter and sliced her head off.

"Hello? Hello?" Harry said as he hung up his cell phone. He walked over to the control panel. It had 3 levers and a button.

"Okay,if I could solve that piano puzzle in the original _Silent Hill_,I can solve this." Harry said as he pulled one lever. A red light came on. He pressed the button.

"Self destruct sequence activated" The loudspeaker said. Harry pulled another lever and pressed the button,a hidden piano came out of the wall and started playing. He pulled the first lever and pressed the button,a crane arm plunged into the lake and pulled out a treasure chest. He pulled another lever and pressed the button,the bridge lowered. Harry jumped out the window of the tower right as it exploded. He got back in the car.

"JOHN JACOB JINGLE-HEIMER SMITH,THAT'S MY NAME TOO!-" Raz sang before being punched in the face again.

"Man,you sure know how to throw a party. You really brought down the house!" Dahlia commented on the tower's destruction.

"Oh no,not again!" Harry said,pointing out the window. The Ice was freezing over the world again.

"Full reverse Dahlia! Dahlia?" Harry said as he shook Dahlia's frozen shoulder,no avail,because she was frozen over you numbskull!

"DO YOU KNOW THE MUFFIN MAN,THE MUFFIN MAN-" Raz sang once more before being cut off by Johnny's fist.

"Damn it Dahlia,do something!" Harry yelled as he shifted to reverse and tried to chisel her arm off so he could reach the gas pedal. The bridge curled and tore itself apart,it looked like that one scene in _The nightmare before Christmas._ The car plunged into the lake and sank beneath the surface. Johnny screamed.

"Nothing like this ever happened in _Silent Hill_ before." Johnny said,pulling his hair out.

"It's still boring as hell. Don't worry,we're fine as long as the windows are up." Harry said,trying to call 911 on his phone,but Toluca phone service was a bitch.

"Man,I'm hot bro,I need some breeze between my knees." Raz said as he reached for the window's crank.

"NO!" Harry and Johnny screamed as Raz opened the window and water shot in.

"Damn,this air's really hard." Raz said.

"My groin has frost bite!" Johnny yelled,as Harry closed the window.

"Alright,first,I need my flashlight. Why the hell did I lose it?" Harry said.

"Cool,a lightsaber." Raz said as he swung Harry's flashlight around.

"GIMME THAT!" Harry yelled as he snatched his flashlight from Raz.

"Alright,we'll open the doors and swim for the shore." Harry said as he was about to open the door,when a Rawshock pressed against the window.

"GIVE US THE CAR!" It yelled. Then,a Numb body from _Silent Hill 3_ pressed against another window.

"GIVE US OUR DESIGN BACK!" It yelled. Then,a Humanz from _Alone in the dark_ pressed itself against another window.

"GIVE US THE GAME! WE'VE BEEN OUT OF WORK FOR 3 YEARS!" It yelled.

"LOCK THE DOORS!" Harry yelled. Suddenly,the windshields froze over and a message etched itself in them.

"Stop fighting,this game isn't worth it." It read.

"Damn,another poorly designed puzzle. We have to put our heads together- Raz,knock it off!" Harry yelled as Raz was doodling on Dahlia's frozen face.

"The water's getting higher." Johnny said,as he was playing with this little Leon 13 bobble head that was on the car's dashboard.

"Okay,we just have to calm down and glub blub gulb!" Harry said as the water passed his head. The radio dial glowed yellow.

"Let's bust a groove!" Raz said,underwater as he turned the dial with his foot. An awesome rock song that I'm too lazy to write in the disclaimer section came on and the ice melted. The guys opened their doors and swam in a fashion very similar to the _Wiggles_ when they leave Henry the octopus' home. They all reached the surface.

"What about that sexy chick?" Johnny asked.

"She chose to freeze like that,she'll have to deal with it." Harry said as they swam for shore. They passed Lara croft from _Tomb Raider 3_ as she froze and died. They also passed Jack and rose from that damn romantic movie. Soon they reached shore and stumbled out of the water.

"W-W-Why couldn't I have crashed m-m-my car in s-s-s-summer?" Harry said as he passed out.

"My groin still has frostbite." Johnny said before he passed out.

"She'll be coming round the iceberg when she comes..." Raz sang before he passed out.

Meanwhile,at the lighthouse,Dr. K's room was neat and orderly again. The kind doctor had now removed his shirt.

"Let's talk about death,the thing that happens when you run out of health on _Call of duty_. Do you think death is cool?" He asked. The patient nodded.

"When you hear death,do you-wait,did you nod?" He asked. The patient nodded again.

"It's a miracle! You did something besides shaking your head!" He said with joy.

"Alright,he's another stupid psychology thing,separate the people who you think are dead and the ones you think have passed out." He said. The photos included Luis from _Resident Evil 4_,after being stabbed by Saddler,Travis Grady from _Silent Hill:Origins_ passed out on a couch,Emile from _Halo:Reach_,slumped against a railing,Gaz from _Call of duty:Modern warfare 1_,with a massive hole in his face,George Washington,and The creepy old woman from _Alan Wake_. The patient put all of the photos on the 'death' side.

"Alright,lets wrap this up,happy hour ends in 45 minutes." Dr. K said.

Andrew had difficulty keeping his eyes open. After the session with Dr. K,he just fell on the floor,asleep. His mother picked him up.

"Nothing like a boring game to put your kid to sleep." She said as she took him up to his room.

To Be Continued...READ BELOW!

**Alright,first off,If you slackers are actually able to,you can vote in your review for which outfit Harry will get. They go as following; Winter coat/pink sweater,Green letterman jacket,black leather jacket,or duffle coat. I'm only waiting till the 20th before I start the next chapter,so start reviewing bitches!**

**SUPREMACISTS SUCK!**


	10. Play along with the Rawshocks!

Chapter 10:Come on and play along with the rawshocks!

Disclaimer:Hey,why don't you actually read this section so I don't have to keep writing this? I don't own Silent Hill,Boland,Overblood,Tweenies,Legend Of Spyro,Resident Evil,Dead Space,Mirror's Edge,Echo Night,Team Umizoomi,Killer7,The Warriors,or Alice. I do own Johnny and Andrew. "Gone Forever" is property of Three Days Grace.

Boland came downstairs after Andrew was put to sleep. He sat down in front of his PS2,which was still on.

* * *

"I wonder if this games any good?" He thought as he picked up the controller.

Harry awoke in a yellow room. He sat up from the couch he was laying on. The room had a red floor,a playhouse,an arts and crafts table,a TV,sliding glass doors that lead out to a playground,and a corner filled with toys.

"What the f...truck?" He said,obeying the story rating. Suddenly,he heard singing.

_Hey,Hey,are you ready to play?_

_Come on and play along with the Tweenies._

"The whos?" Harry asked. Then these horrifying Humanoid monsters with big bright colored heads came in through the front door.

"The Tweenies!" The purple one in blue shouted.

"MY GOD,STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU SICK BASTARDS!" Harry yelled.

"Come and play!" The orange one in blue said,holding his arms wide.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Harry yelled as he grabbed a tube of glitter and splashed? it on the orange one.

"Be careful,that stuff is flammable." The old red one in overalls said. Harry grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed the orange one in the eye with it. Blood sprayed out and he fell over dead.

"Hey,that's not nice." The dark green one with blonde hair and yellow overalls said. Harry squeezed through the door of the playhouse and slammed the plastic door shut. He picked up a carving knife laying on it's counter and slid it's blade under the door,looking at it's reflection. A yellow hand stuck it's fingers under the door. Harry screamed and sliced them off with his knife.

"Hello,lets play." Harry turned around and saw a hideous red dog with yellow spots that pounced on him. Harry pulled the door of the stove open and pushed the dogs head into it. He set the temperature to high.

"Oooohh,its so warm in here." The dog said before bursting in flames. Harry stood up and smashed through the roof of the playhouse.

"Tweenie clock,where will it stop?" The old red one said as he pressed the center button on this thing with lots of lights. Harry got out of the playhouse and ran over to the thing. He grabbed it by it's pole and yanked it out of the floor. He swung it at the red one's head,hitting him on the side of it and falling over,possibly dead.

"These monkeys are funny." Said the yellow one in a pink dress and red hair(also the one who lost her fingers) watching monkeys on the TV. Harry ran over,picked up the TV and smashed it hard on her head.

"_How do you do? And How do you do?_" The dark green one was singing. Harry slammed her over the side of her head with a guitar he found all the sudden.

"I diving deep down in my submarine." Said the purple one,who was in a huge cardboard box. Harry closed the flaps and sealed it with duct tape.

"Hey,let me out of here." It cried as Harry threw it on the fire in the playhouse.

"OH MY GOD! I'M BURNING ALIVE!" It screamed. The Pale green one with purple hair came back with a plate of goodies.

"Ah,Juice. My favorite." Harry said as he knocked the goodies off and and grabbed the plate. He smashed it over her head and stabbed her in the neck with it's shard. The fire exploded a gas line and blew up a wall. Harry quickly smashed through the glass doors and fell into the playground.

"DADDY!" Harry looked up to see his daughter get carried away by a cloaked figure.

"MERYL!" Harry yelled as he chased after it. He came to a dark street,with a single lamppost. He was now wearing a blue dress with a white apron and huge shoulder things.

"What the truck?" He said. Suddenly, he saw the cloaked figure.

"WHERES MY DAUGHTER YOU SICK TRUCK?" Harry yelled,brandishing the Vorpal Blade. The figure coughed.

"DIE FIENDISH DEMON!" Harry sliced him with the Vorpal blade. The cloak fell right off,revealing a naked blue allosauraus.

"Leon 13? You kidnapped my daughter?" Harry asked.

"Your stupid kid wandered into my house. I was trying to give her back to you." I said,using my tail to cover my groin.

"But why were you dressed in that cloak?" Harry asked.

"This is my bathrobe,I just got out of the shower." I answered as my eyes grew red.

"Uhhh,sorry. No hard feelings right?" Harry asked. I shape-shifted into a brute from _Dead Space_ and roared at him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Harry screamed as he woke up in a wheelchair being pushed down the hall.

"Bout time you woke up." Cybil said.

"Damn it,I thought you were-" Harry said as he looked at her and saw she was now a short anthropomorphic Timber wolf in a police coat and diaper.

"What the hell?" Harry said.

"The furries showed me a better lifestyle." Cybil replied,smiling.

"But,whats with-" Harry started.

"The diaper? Babyfurs seemed my style." She replied. Harry saw he was now in a black leather jacket.

"What the truck did you do with my clothes?" He yelled.

"You was soaking wet,one of the reviewers actually voted this time and those were the result." Cybil said.

"Oh,it's kind of flashy. By the way,did you see those other two guys with me?" Harry asked.

"Yeah,there still lying around here somewhere,took me an hour to drag you all in my car. Harry,I stopped by the station and looked up your file." Cybil started.

"Yeah,and? Well?" Harry asked as he looked behind him and saw that Cybil was frozen as well as the hospital.

"Awww spit." Harry cursed according to the rating. He heard a squeal of a rawshock which scared him. He immediately started pushing his wheelchair rapidly down the hall. He passed by Harmen Smith from _Killer7_,who was also pushing his wheelchair down the hall. Harry stopped at an intersection and let Birdie from _The Warriors_ pass by in his wheelchair before proceeding.

"Those Naked Freaks will never catch me at this rate." Harry said as he rode his Wheelchair down the stairs. He fell out and tumbled all the way down the 3 flights of stairs. He hit the bottom and,as he tried to get up,the wheelchair slammed down on him before getting up.

"Why didn't she just let me wake up in a room instead of pushing around in a wheelchair? It's pointless if I can still walk." He said as he pulled out his flashlight. He started running around,through doors and crap. He came to a room with a subway car that smashed through the wall.

"This place has a Subway above it? It must be to get people injured here faster." He said as he was grabbed by a rawshock.

"I'M GEO,I CAN BUILD ANYTHING,WITH MY SHAPES!" It sang. Harry threw him off and ran down these train tracks.

"No wonder we're in debt if every hospital has it's own train station too." He said. He passed Alice from _Alice:Madness returns_ who was pushing Dr. Bumby towards the train tracks,frozen of course. He ran through this door and slammed it shut.

"Jeez,Even _Echo night_ was better than this game." Harry said.

"Hell yeah." Said Richard Osmond (the player character from _Echo Night_) who was sitting in his chair reading a MAD magazine. Harry looked to the side,he saw a Sword,a Baseball bat,and a Flare. Guess what he picked up? The Flare of course. He lit it and threw it down to distract the Rawshock.

He ran and climbed into an old subway car. He walked past a bunch of people who were sleeping in these homemade bunks,also frozen. He picked up one of their shoes and found a High grade military bullet in it. He ditched the car and continued running. After passing this door,he was tackled by 2 Rawshocks.

"WE LOVE YOU HARRY!" One said.

"WE LOVE YOU!" The other said.

"You freaks are worse than barney." Harry said as he threw one off,and fell into a morgue chamber,which slid into the wall. He socked the other in the face and fell in a cremator. Sorry,folks,I'm running out of ideas. He kept running until he found a glass case.

"In case of defenseless pursuit,break glass." It read. Harry smashed it and pulled out a flare. He ran through a pair of double doors and was in front of 3 rawshocks.

"Theres no escape this time!" One said. Harry lit the flare,nothing happened.

"HAHAHA! We gave you a dud!" It said. Suddenly,a bunch of those paper snakes that people put in jars popped out and gave the rawshocks seizures. Harry ran off.

"DAMN IT MARSHALL! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU'D PRANK US!" The leader said,foaming at mouth. Harry ran through this one door and was slammed on the head by a bedpan. He fell to the ground as Raz and Johnny looked over him.

"I told you it wasn't a clawrock." Johnny said to Raz. He helped Harry up.

"Dude,you look like that switch-blade guy from _Mirror's Edge_ in those awesome duds." Raz said.

"Who are those freaks?" Harry asked,pointing at the frozen figures of a little girl and doctor.

"I dunno,theres a weird staticy noise by it." Raz said. Harry got a message when he approached them. There was also one from Dahlia.

"Whoa man,that was one hell of a hangover. Where the hell is my bosses car? Did I drive it in the lake again? That's the 15th time this month. Did you stab me in the arm,because I have a massive ga-" It read before Harry deleted it.

"Yeah,they say her drunk mother threw her in the lake. If I wasn't taking my Vacation there,she would have drowned,and this game wouldn't even exist. We're helping her now,shes improving drastically. Don't forget the song! Oh,right,I also called this radio station and had them play 'Daddy's Girl' on their top 10. The door unlocked itself after wards,we've been stuck in here for 5 weeks. I smell worse than Naked Snake." The other read. Harry began to think.

"I'm starting to think all these messages have something to do with Meryl." He said.

"How do we get out of here? The doors frozen shut." Johnny said.

"There are a number of possibilities. One,we solve another damn puzzle. Two,we find some random items to blast open the doors like in _Alone in the dark_. Three,chisel the doors.-" Harry started.

2 hours later...

"73,Urinate on the doors until they melt. 74,Take steroids to bash them down. 75-" harry said before Johnny stopped him.

"Dude,can we do something already? I'm trucking bored." Johnny said.

"I don't know,but there sure are a lot of possibilities." Harry answered.

"I like number 57,melt it with Fire breath." Raz said.

"I got it! Remember how the message said something about the top ten on the radio?" Harry said.

"Yeah." Johnny and Raz answered.

"Maybe,there's a special medallion inside that radio on the shelf that will melt the doors!" Harry said,pointing to the radio.

"Thats a clever idea,even for this game." Johnny said.

"It's either that or kill the DJ using our Spirit forms." Harry said. Raz grabbed the radio and threw it on the ground,unscratched. Harry stomped on it,unscratched. Johnny body slammed it,no scratch.

"That's a tough radio." Harry said.

"Now for plan B." He said again as he stretched his arms out and looking up.

"Come on Spirit form,I'm calling you." He continued.

"Lets bust a groove while we wait." Raz said as he started adjusting the knob.

"Welcome to the Chris Redifield talk show!" The Radio blared before Raz turned it.

"Damn it Spirit form! What did I do to you?" Harry yelled.

"Beauty Tips,with Cynder." The Radio blared before Raz turned it again.

"Spirit form,PLEASE! Just help me for once in your damn life!" Harry yelled again.

"Welcome to Alchema radio. It's really quiet tonight,so call in and request one of our top ten songs." The Radio Blared.

"Spirit Form,your embarrassing me!" Harry yelled.

"I wish I knew what the top ten were." Raz said as he leaned against the poster with the top ten.

"SPIRIT FORM! GET OUT HERE NOW!" Harry yelled. Raz looked at the poster which he eventually noticed.

"Harry,can I borrow your phone?" Raz asked.

"Sure,whatever. SPIRIT FORM!" Harry yelled handing Raz his phone.

"OOOHHH,They have 'Gone Forever'." Raz said as he pressed the confirmation numbers.

"Well,we got a caller so here you are,'Gone Forever',Just like me." The radio blared as the song started playing,melting the ice over the door.

"Hey Harry,the exit's open!" Johnny said as he looked over to Harry,who was face down on the floor with a bright blueish double of himself standing.

"Oh,what a shame,I got my spirit form to work." He said as he went back in his body.

"Cool,I got mail!" Raz said before Harry snatched his phone back.

"She's fine. Her dad picked her up,at least I think it was her dad. Oh well,we just got a bunch of patients from Raccoon city,some of them are eating our nurses. Oh,and we also locked this little burnt girl down in the super duper secret basement,the one in the storage room. Whoops,at least I didn't mention it's behind the Cabinet,wait,DAMN IT! Kaufman's gonna kill me!" It said. The guys left the room and as they walked down the hallway,the Ice melted.

"THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE,I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE!-" Raz sang before being punched simultaneously by Harry and Johnny.

Boland felt something surge from his stomach and puked on his sweatshirt.

"That was the worst Survival game I've ever played." He said,wiping macaroni off his mouth.

"Theres only one place where this game belongs." He said as he took the game and memory card outside.

To Be Continued...

**Well,another boring nightmare finished. Special thanks to Zombiegirl2007,the only one who actually voted. Please review,I could use more encouragement.**

**SUPREMACISTS SUCK!**


	11. Awww Phit!

Chapter 11:Awww Phit

Disclaimer:I don't own Silent Hill,Overblood,Alice,Boland,Grand theft auto,Pingu,Assassin's Creed,Dino Crisis,Echo Night,Tomb Raider,Bioshock,Teletubbies,Anistasia. I do own Johnny.

Boland strolled to the gate of the Rutledge Asylum. He dropped the detested game's box in the donation bin. He was happy that he was helping his country,as he walked home.

The Assistant of Rutledge brought in all the things from the bin. It included a jar of peanut butter,a knife,a blood bag,and the game. The assistant took the game and entered the room of the Asylum's most famous patient,Alice Liddel.

* * *

"Hey Alice! Someone brought you a game! Now you can have fun!" The assistant said to Alice who was on her bed,clutching her stuffed rabbit,not moving at all. The assistant slid the disk and memory card into her PS2 (Does everyone have this?) and turned on a game that would make anyone go insane.

Harry and the guys walked down the hall and came out near the entrance. An ambulance had smashed through the entrance and caught fire.

"My god,Tommy Vercetti was here!" Harry yelled.

"I guess he must have slid on the ice while trying to run over a cop." Johnny added.

"Look,he even brought a zombie!" Raz said,pointing to the nurse on the ground who was bleeding.

"That's no zombie you retard." Harry said rushing over to her.

"Jeez,were you in this ambulance?" He asked.

"No,I was practicing 'jumping in front of moving Vehicles.'" She said.

"Hey sexy,what's your name?" Johnny said,being smooth.

"Lisa,Lisa Garland." Lisa said.

"Oh,it's another character from the original." Raz said.

"I'm Harry." Harry said.

"Harry Houdini. Sorry,I just think up stupid stuff randomly." Lisa said as she got up and blood dripped on the floor.

"You should work with Leon XIII." Harry commented.

"I'm Raz Karcy." Raz said.

"Raz the jazz." Lisa said.

"And I'm Johnny." Johnny said.

"Johnny salami." Lisa said again.

"Okay,thats starting to get annoying." Johnny said.

"Hey Raz,can you use some of that emergency spray to stop her bleeding?" Harry asked.

"WWWWHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTT! No,it's mine." Raz said,cradling it.

"Give me that spray!" Harry yelled as he tackled Raz. Raz pinned him with his legs and sprayed the last of it in his nose.

"Don't worry,I got some medical supplies at home." Lisa said.

"Why not go to a hospital- Oh,never mind." Johnny said,noticing that there wasn't anyone else at the hospital.

"JASON! JASON! JASON!" Raz yelled,High. The team walked out of the hospital and down the road. They walked past Pingu,who was fishing out of a manhole,before one of the green insect monsters from the original _Silent Hill_ grabbed him and pulled him in,sending torn and bloody penguin parts flying out.

"By the way,have you seen a little girl,short black hair?" Harry asked.

"Yeah,shes locked in the super duper secret basement in the hospital." Lisa said.

"Besides her?" He asked.

"Nope." Lisa said.

"I wish there was a liquor store around here." Johnny said as he downed his last beer.

"JASON! JASON!" Raz yelled,looking under cars,in trash cans,and dumpsters. As they cut through an alley way,they saw Altair beating up a random medieval civilian.

"Wheres the Target?" He kept yelling.

"Dude,I don't freaking know!" The civilian said before Altair punched him again. The guys just went past him and eventually arrived at Lisa's place. They entered the garage,Edward Carnby from _Alone in the dark_ was hot wiring a car.

"Hey,can you give us a lift?" Harry asked.

"Sorry,The last time I helped someone,they turned into a Humanz." He said.

"Oh,sorry." Harry said as the walked inside Lisa's apartment. A Humanz pulled Ed out of the car and killed him.

"You guys wait here,I'm gonna change. Watch some TV if you like." Lisa said before she went in her room. The guys sat down and turned on the tube. Channel 13 news was on.

"A massive snow storm hit Silent Hill today,stranding many of it's residents. Back to you Andrew." Violet,the weather woman said.

"Thank you. The teaser trailer for Final Fantasy 26 was proven to be false today,when a fan noticed that it was just a mash up of all the other game's cut scenes. In other news,_Silent Hill:Shattered Memories_ was considered to be the worst game in the series and sold less than 10 copies. This caused Konami to almost go bankrupt if it weren't for the donations by the fans." Andrew said.

"I don't think it's that bad." Raz said.

"It is." Harry said.

"I thought it was so good,I bought 9 copies of it." Raz said.

"I wonder where the last copy is?" Harry asked himself.

"In other news,Timesplitters 4 was announced by Crytek and we now show you an exclusive trailer." Andrew said as the trailer started,but the Tv lost reception.

"Damn it,when something good is happening,we miss it." Harry said as he threw the remote at the TV.

"I wouldn't say that." Johnny said as he was staring at the mirror in Lisa's room,showing her changing.

"Whoa,perv alert." Harry said as he started watching too.

"Cool,_teletubbies_ is on! Raz said as he watched the retarded show. Lisa came out,dressed like Regina from _Dino Crisis_,with a big band aid on her head.

"Aww." Johnny grumbled. Lisa sat down on the crowded couch.

"Oww,I got a headache. Can you get me some pain pills from the bathroom? They're the red ones." Lisa said.

"You were just in there,why are you telling us now?" Harry asked.

"The Player needs something to keep them entertained." She said.

"Good point." Harry said as he and the guys entered her room. Johnny started digging around through her clothes. Harry and Raz entered the bathroom.

"Oooh,a Music box." Raz said.

"We're looking for pills Razputen." Harry said,referencing _Anistasia_. Raz turned it's handle.

"Do you know how many plot devices are centered around music boxes?" Raz asked. The lid of it opened,revealing a wrist band with a Skull on it.

"OOOOOO,Lisa must have been a goth at one time." Raz said as he put it on.

"Raz help me-" Harry said as he turned around and saw Raz with the band.

"Take that off!" Harry yelled,tackling Raz.

"Piss off,I found it first!" Raz yelled.

"That thing belongs in my memento box,If I don't have all of them,I won't get an achievement!" Harry yelled.

"But this games for the PS2." Raz said.

"Oh,Then keep it." Harry said as he got off Raz. He opened a cupboard and saw three pill bottles.

"Great,I thought Lisa was a "drugs are for losers" person." Harry said as he picked one up and tried to read the label.

"What the hell? I can't even read this! The writing looks like something you'd see in PS1 games." Harry said as he tried to open it.

"Jesus,this thing is trucking stuck!" Harry said as he furiously tried to open it. He bit it with his teeth,attempting to turn it,but it broke some of them. The he set it on the toilet and slammed it under the seat,still no results. He set it on the counter,thinking. Then he got an Idea. He pulled out that knife he'd been abusing so much and stabbed it in the bottle's cap,tearing a hole in it. He flipped it upside down and shook it,a yellow pill fell out.

"Nope." Harry said as he did the same thing with another bottle,a blue pill fell out.

"Nope." He said as he did it with another bottle,a green pill fell out.

"Must be this last one." Harry said as he did it with the last bottle,and a white pill fell out.

"What the hell? Did she forget she has red pills or did she think it was red? If she ran out,she must use pain pills a lot." Harry said.

"What now? We can't go back empty handed." Raz said.

"Oh my hands aren't empty." Johnny said as he was laying in a pile of Lisa's undies.

"I know! I'll use the trick I learned from this point and click game!" Harry said. He reached in a drawer and pulled out some red lipstick. He smeared it on the white pill,until it was bright red.

"There,mission accomplished. It's a good thing Lisa wore blood red lipstick." Harry said. The duo grabbed Johnny (Who refused to leave the undies) and went back into the living room.

"Here you go." Harry said,Giving Lisa the fake pill.

"It's about time,it's been 24 stanzas." Lisa said as she took it.

"(yawn) I'm gonna take a nap,you can let your self out." Lisa said as she laid down on the couch.

"Your welcome,for saving your life,ungrateful bimbo." Harry muttered.

"Wanna loot the place?" Johnny suggested.

"Don't bother,you guys already did." Harry said as they left her apartment.

Meanwhile,at the lighthouse...

Dr. K had now removed his shirt.

"Jesus,we've been here for 2 trucking days,and we haven't gotten anywhere!" He croaked.

"Alright,lets move on to guilt. Guilt is the primary cause of _Silent Hill's 2 and Homecoming_. One dude killed his wife and another killed his brother,they both felt guilt and lead to the creation of the mascot of _Silent Hill_,Pyramid head. Now if you look on the table,you'll see another phitty exercise for you." Dr. K said. There was a tray with four figures. The tray was marked most guilty on the left and least guilty on the right. One figure was a middle age man,the other was a hot red head woman,the third was some old dude,while the last one was a Bouncer from _Bioshock_.

"This is Edward Carnby,this is Regina,this is William Rockwell,and this is a bouncer. One day,Edward saw Regina fighting some dinosaurs. He wanted to bang her so he asked her to marry him. He took her to this old man from this forgotten video game about a red stone that grants wishes at the cost of life. He used the red stone to kill the old bag and wished that Regina would love him. It worked too well,as Regina wouldn't leave Edward alone. He ran away from her one night,desperate to be alone. Unfortunately,he wandered into the den of a big daddy,who drilled him through the gut on first sight. Your task is to sort who is most to least guilty on this retarded story." Dr. K said. The patient pulled out a figure of her own and set it on the most guilty spot. It was an Anthropomorphic Blue dinosaur.

"Hmmm,He is the one who came up with that horrible story. Good eyes,now lets wrap this phit up." Dr. K cursed according to the rating.

Back in the garage...

The gang wandered back into the garage. Johnny tried the door they came through.

"It's locked,that bitch must own the place." He said.

"Hmmm,since this game is nothing like the others,we might be able to open that gate without key." Harry said,pointing to this gate. Raz grabbed one end and pulled it open with no trouble.

"Damn,someone has some security issues." Johnny said as he opened the other end.

"I wonder what happened to that dude in the car?" Harry asked himself as they left. Edward popped his head up from the backseat.

"Did you hear something?" He asked.

"No,put some more sugar in my bowl." A female humanz said as he ducked back below the seat. The guys went outside and jumped a fence. They came to a truck trailer that blocked the way.

"I hate it when the designers place random phit like this in the player's path to prevent them from proceeding." Harry said.

"Say,we could probably climb on it after we climb this dumpster." Raz said.

"That's a lot more helpful then all the other random crap you've said today,Raz" Harry said as they did so.

"Cool,this window's open. I wonder why?" Johnny said.

"Maybe,this tuck belongs to Travis Grady from _Silent Hill:Origins_,and he parked it here so he could climb up,broke the window and into this building to find a piece of the Flauros." Raz said.

"Raz,your back to your old phitty self." Harry said.

"What the hell does that word mean? Phit?" Raz asked.

"It's the T rating friendly version of #$%." Harry said. They climbed through the window,which lead to an office. The copier was copying something.

"Man,this looks like it was ripped from _F.E.A.R_,there are even a bunch of cheesy pooz bags over here." Johnny said.

"I'm bored." Harry said. He smashed a computer monitor to make himself feel better. Johnny put a bunch of papers in this waste bin.

"Anyone got a lighter?" He asked.

"I have a thermostat." Raz said holding it up.

"Why the hell did you rip a thermostat off the wall?" Harry asked.

"I didn't,I found it laying on a counter." Raz said.

"What the hell." Johnny said as he took it and threw it in the bin. He set the thermostat to high and eventually,the papers caught fire. Raz opened the copier's lid and grabbed a dog chew toy.

"Hey look,an artificial femur!" He said.

"That's a rubber dog bone." Johnny said.

"We better get out of here before that fire spreads." Harry suggested.

"Relax,this fire is too weak to-" Johnny said as the papers and cheesy pooz bags on the desk burst into flames.

"OH PHIT! LETS BLOW!" Johnny yelled as they ran through a nearby door. They came to a big room with huge warehouse shelves.

"Man,this does remind me of _F.E.A.R_." Harry said.

"Cool,a personal buggy with two swords sticking out of the front!" Raz said as he got in a nearby forklift.

"Raz get out of there!" Harry said.

"Okay,I'll just open the door-aaaaaahhhhhhh!" Raz yelled as he accidentally hit the accelerate pedal and sent the forklift speeding forward. Harry and Johnny narrowly dodged it as Raz knocked over the massive shelves. The crates they held broke open,revealing tanks of propane. The fire from the last room slowly creeped it's way towards them. Harry and Johnny look terrified as they panicked and ran through a nearby exit door. Raz followed by smashing through a nearby roll up door. Harry and Johnny jumped inside a dumpster,which Raz picked up with his forklift as it drove uncontrollably away from the building as it exploded.

"Oh my god,the explosion must have hurled us into the air!" Harry said as the dumpster shook violently.

"Hey,we're sitting on some unsold _Silent Hill:Shattered Memories_ games." Johnny pointed out.

"Don't worry guys,I'll park in that ditch!" Raz said as he drove the forklift into a canal in front of the mall and tumbled over,knocking Harry and Johnny out of the dumpster.

"Damn it Raz! Couldn't you have crashed into mattress store?" Harry asked as he dusted his slick leather jacket off.

"It could have been worse." Raz said as he crawled out of the forklift's cage.

"HOW? How could this have been any worse!" Johnny yelled.

"We...could have smashed through a wall into the ancient tomb of King Arthur and be jabbed with spears coming out of the wall as we plummet off a ledge." Raz said.

"_Tomb Raider:Legend_ isn't worthy of being mentioned in this game,those damn time trials are to difficult." Harry said as he climbed out of the canal.

"Well...maybe we could have loaded crates of weapons into a truck while Ryder covers us." Raz said as he climbed out.

"_Grand Theft Auto:San Andreas_ reference. That would be better,because we would have guns." Johnny said as he climbed out.

"Or maybe we-" Raz started.

"Put a fork in it." Harry said.

"Or maybe,a Laser knife!" Raz said.

"SHUT UP!" Johnny yelled. They walked up to the doors of the mall and Harry's phone rang.

"Oh,My God." He said as he picked it up.

"CYBIL WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?" Harry yelled.

"Harry,help me,please." Lisa said on the other end.

"Lisa? Whats wrong?" Harry asked.

"I think I choked on my lipstick." She said.

"Hang on,we're coming. You'll have sex with us if we rescue you right?" Harry asked as the line went dead. "I'll take that as a yes." He said as he hung up.

"Lisa's in trouble! If we help her,she'll have sex with us." Harry said.

"SWEET!" Johnny yelled.

"But how will we reach her? The warehouse is totaled." Raz said as the remains of the warehouse crumbled.

"Uhhhhhhh...This way." Harry said as he lead them through these double doors. They came to a partially closed gate.

"My god,they're trying to seal us in!" Raz said as he slid under the door. The others followed. Then they came to an escalator. Raz stood at the top of one.

"Damn,why is it taking so long?" He said.

"The power's out,retard." Johnny said as he and Harry ran down the other. Soon,they they came out on the street again and ran back to Lisa's apartment. They arrived in her living room.

"Harry..."Lisa said before she died and blood rushed out of her nose and her tongue stuck out.. The guys ran over to her.

"Well...It's nice to see that one character from the original met the same fate. She even bled out of her nose." Johnny said. Harry ran into the bathroom and grabbed the pill bottle he opened earlier. It read...

"SUICIDE PILLS! Why the hell does she have suicide pills?" Harry gasped.

"Perhaps we can revive her." Raz said as he sat on Lisa and started pressing on her chest.

"Let me help!" Johnny said as he started breathing into her mouth.

"Me too!" Harry said as he tore her shirt off and grabbed a needle of adrenaline. They all continued this ridiculous routine until..

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Cybil yelled as she entered the room. The guys stopped what they were doing.

"Who the hell is that? A cartoon character?" Johnny asked.

"It's not what it looks like,Cybil." Harry said.

"Shut up! Get away from the girl." Cybil yelled,brandishing her Inox Beretta 92F.

"Whoa,she actually looks better than she did before." Johnny said.

"Cybil really,she took some suicide pills by accident." Harry said again.

"Shut Up! You've been feeding me Bullphit all night!" Cybil yelled.

"Ewww." Raz said.

"Cybil,you've been a major pain in the ass ever since this damn parody started! Everytime I try to find my daughter,you show up and slow me down,your a horrible police officer." Harry said.

"Just drop it already. I know your not Harry Mason!" Cybil said as the world froze over again.

"I'm..I'm not real?" Harry said.

"Well you really aren't the original Harry Mason,your just the remake version." Johnny said. Raz started drawing on Cybil's face.

"Damn it,I would take a bullet to the face any day than to go through another one of these damn nightmare segments." Harry said.

The assistant put down the controller and ran into the bathroom to throw up.

To be continued...

**Please review,I can always use some more! Don't forget to check out my Channel 13 story as well!**

**Supremacists Suck!**


	12. Ugggghhhh,Not Another Nightmare!

Chapter 12:Ugggghh,Not Another nightmare!

Disclaimer:I don't own Alice,Silent Hill,Overblood,Hidden Invasion,Pingu,Raw Danger,Jericho,Dead Rising,Condemned. I do own Johnny. If I did own any of that crap,I wouldn't be on this website,turkey!

Alice suddenly awoke from her delirium.

"Thank goodness,the Red queen is no more." She said as she saw the game.

* * *

"Oh,it's one of those fancy electronic games. I've always wanted to give it a try." Alice said as she turned on the game...

The gang started out of Lisa's apartment.

"Man,I'm starting to think that _Hidden Invasion_ is better than this game." Johnny said,almost puking. Suddenly,several Rawshocks jumped out from an Alley. They had lips and looked feminine,with large breast.

"Momma Homma!" Johnny said,reaching for them. One of them maced Johnny. Harry grabbed him and they took off down the street. The guys ran past Cybil's Police Car,Harry briefly stopped and smashed the windshield.

"Arrest me now,Cybil!" He laughed. The gang eventually came to a door that said 'push' on it.

"Read the signs,boys and girls." Raz said as he ran right into them and fell back.

"Who the hell designed this door?" Harry said as he pulled them open. The guys ran down a hallway and came face to face with _Pingu_.

"Awww,what a cute little penguin." Raz said,then Pingu's eyes turned red and lifted his wings.

"AAAAhhhhhh! He's attacking!" Johnny yelled as he kicked Pingu into a nearby Starbucks' window.

"I was just trying to impress you with my demon powers." Pingu said in his retarded Penguinese language that the guys couldn't understand. The guys took cover in a nearby Abercrombie and Fitch store. They dressed themselves in it's clothing and pretended to be mannequins in the window. The Rawshocks ran right past them. They discarded the clothes (Except Raz,who like his blue scarf.) and ran into a Toys R us store.

"I think we eluded them." Harry said,looking through the door. They strolled through the isles. Disturbed by the creepy cabbage patch kids around them.

"I almost prefer the Rawshocks." Johnny said. 3 rawshocks stormed the store. Harry grabbed a limited edition Micheal Jackson cabbage patch doll and threw it at one. Johnny grabbed a Box of legos and threw it at another. Raz picked up a bubble wand and blew some bubbles.

"heh Heh,Bubbles." He said as Harry grabbed the bubble solution and splashed it on a Rawshock.

"AAAAAHHHHH! MY NON-EXISTANT EYES!" It screamed as the guys ditched the store.

"I wonder if they have a liquor store in this mall." Johnny said as they ran into a back hallway.

"Do you guys hear rumbling?" Harry asked. Suddenly a massive wave of water erupted from the back of the hall and rushed towards them.

"AAAAAHHHHH! This room is based on _Raw Danger!_" Johnny screamed as they ran to the other side. They ducked into the next room and slammed the door shut.

"Hey,we're in a security station." Johnny pointed out.

"That means there might be guns!" Harry said as he threw open a nearby cabinet and was greatly disappointed to find a flare.

"Why the hell do security guards keep a flare for defense?" He yelled. Rawshocks screams could be heard and the guys jammed themselves in the cabinet.

"Oww,Johnny,your on my foot." Raz said.

"That's because it's your other foot!" Johnny said.

"Guys,shut up!" Harry said. 2 Rawshocks came in the room.

"Good,the coast is clear." one said.

"Let us shed our disguises." The other said. They unzipped the costumes they were wearing,reavealing them to be Pyramid Head and a Mannequin from _Silent Hill 2_.

"Finally,some time to ourselves." The Mannequin said.

"Yeah,I doubt we'll even appear in _Silent Hill:Downpour_. We can still have fun in this game through." Pyramid head said (hey that rhymes). They started making out,which was odd because the mannequin had no mouth and Pyramid head's head had no mouth either. The guys quietly slipped out of the cabinet,until Johnny saw pyramid Head.

"OMG! PYRAMID HEAD!" He yelled. Pyramid head turned around.

"Who the hell are you pansies?" Pyramid asked.

"We're the player characters." harry said.

"Can I have your autograph?" Johnny asked.

"As long as you don't tell anyone I was here." Pyramid said.

"Sure thing." Johnny said. Pyramid tattooed his name on Johnny's back and the guys left.

"Now where were we?" Pyramid asked the mannequin. The guys came in front of a large toucan statue.

"Wow, Placing cereal box mascots in the game must have helped pay for the costs." Raz said. Some more Rawshocks came running at them.

"How many of you truckers are there?" Harry asked.

"I don't know." one of them said. "One,two,three,four,five-" He started counting before Harry threw the flare down and paralyzed them. The gang ran into this one room,one the Rawshocks couldn't enter.

"Good,I'm getting tired of these retarded chase sequences." Harry said. There was a gumball machine and 2 ice figures in the room. Harry got a message when he approached them.

"Your going to be late for school. I want some gumballs. Hang on,the bitch wants some gum. Not these colors,I want those colors you moron! Watch your mouth young lady. What are these colors? I'm not telling. She still doesn't trust me. The what? The pecan? The gumball machine doesn't have brown gumballs. What? The Afgan? I don't know what colors they wear. The Koran? Why does she love the Koran? Oh,the Toucan. These your colors honey? Yes! Good,then your not getting them until you apologize." It said.

"Hey Guys,this machine lets you choose which color of Gumballs you want!" Raz said as he shook it and got some gum.

"If we were in _Condemned 2:Bloodshot_,we could use that as a weapon." Johnny said.

"The toucan? Maybe we have to match the colors of the Toucan with the gumballs." Harry hypothesized.

"You mean we have to go back there to memorize the color pattern of that stupid bird?" Johnny said.

"It looks that way." Harry said. Raz threw some more gumballs in his mouth.

"I'm not moving from this spot." Johnny said.

"Fine,I'll go alone." Harry said as he opened the door and a rawshock grabbed him by the neck.

"Harry,we got you a photo of the toucan." The Rawshock said as it gave Harry the picture.

"Thanks." He said as he slammed the door on it's arm until it let go.

"What color is it?" Johnny asked.

"It's red,yellow,pink,orange and purple." Harry said.

"Raz put in that pattern." Johnny said. Raz had to shake the machine continuously.

"Whats taking so long?" Harry asked.

"It's not giving me the colors I want." Raz said as he kept shaking it.

"Let me help." Johnny said as he picked up the gumball machine and smashed it's glass dome on the floor,scattering gumballs all over the place. They put the corresponding colors on the rack below the opening.

"Damn,the rack only holds 4." Johnny said as he tried putting the pink one on the rack. Raz grabbed the red one and ate it.

"Mmmmm,Cherry." He said.

"Damn it Raz,now we have to start all-" Johnny said as the exit door melted.

"Oh,Red wasn't counted." Johnny said again. Harry got a message.

"Come on,save some for later,the flavors wear off fast. This one's for mommy. Your mommy is bulimic,give it to me. No. Give it to me you ungrateful little bitch! No! Damn it! (Struggling,grunting) Ha! I got it!" The Message said.

"I feel bad for this poor bastard. He had to put up with that little bitch." Harry said.

"Well,lets hurry up and get out of-" Johnny said before slipping on a gumball. Raz started gathering them up and shoving them in his orange vest.

"heh heh,Free candy." He said. The guys proceeded through the door and the Ice melted away.

"Sweet! Now we can loot the shops!" Johnny said.

"I hope we don't run into Cybil again." Harry said.

"I'M SIXTEEN,STARTING TO FIND MY WAY,GOTTA NEW JOB-" Raz sang before being smashed in the face with a gumball machine by a Younger Ethan Thomas from _Condemned:Criminal Origins_.

Alice turned off the game. She started seeing flowers flying around and cracks emerged from the walls. Before she knew it,she fell down the rabbit hole again. When she landed,she found herself in an exact replica of Silent Hill,overgrown with mushrooms and phit like that. The Cheshire cat appeared before her.

"Cat,what's happened to wonderland?" Alice asked.

"It has been plagued by an evil far greater than anything else Lewis Carroll of American Mcgee could have imagined." The Cat said.

"By what?" Alice asked.

"By...Bad video games." He said. The Mad hatter ran into the streets.

"My daughter is missing! Where could she be? Why can't I fight the monsters?" He said. Dormouse came out dressed like Rawlings from _Jericho_.

"I must stop the breach from opening,but it will be difficult because my retarded comrades keep getting knocked out and I must revive them." He said. The Hare ran out dressed like Frank from _Dead Rising __2_.

"I have to save at least 50 people,get my daughter Zombrex and solve all these cases in a ridiculously short amount of time!" He said. Alice let out a bloodcurdling scream. Meanwhile,the assistant had returned to her room,she was in her normal condition,lifeless. He put the disk and game back in the box.

"So much for the entertainment department." He said as he put it away. "Maybe it's worth something at a pawnshop,but then again,probably not."

To be continued.

**Sorry if this one seems shorter and not as funny,I'm running out of ideas for the nightmare sequences. Any advice would be helpful. Don't worry,the next chapter will be much better. Review if needed.**

**Supremacists suck!**


	13. Mall Clops

Chapter 13:Mall clops

Disclaimer:You serious? I'm am sick and tired of writing this damned disclaimer list of stuff everyone knows I don't own,I've done this for like,4 stories and you refuse to read it! I don't own Silent Hill,Overblood,Left 4 dead,Mega man,Haunting ground,Alan Wake,Halo,Mario Party,Heavy Rain,Metal Gear Solid,Hamtaro. I do own Johnny and Parker.

The Assistant of the Asylum handed the cursed game to the pawnshop owner.

"5 bucks." He said.

"Phit,that's it?" The assistant asked. Angry,he took the money and left. The owner priced the game 25 bucks. Zoey from _Left 4 dead_ came in and saw it. Foolishly,she bought it and took it home to show her friends,Francis,Bill and Nick,that's right,she's through with Louis.

"Is it any good?" Bill asked,puffing a cigarette.

"I'm about to find out." Zoey said as she put it in her PS2.

The gang strolled down a hallway,Harry got a message when he approached a gate with graffiti on it.

"Hey Girls! What to unleash your inner warrior? Then come on down to the Experience! We provide all kinds of experience points! We even sell Ability and Magic points! Get you Level 1 ass down here and level up!" It read.

"Hey,Food!" Johnny screamed as he ran for this coffee and donut on a tray on a trash can. As he approached it,it swept off onto the floor,he slammed his face on the trash can,and Harry got another message.

"Malcolm. Doing that thing you asked me to do. I planted a tracer in the underwear of that hot ass teenager. Man,she looks just like (static) from the other game. It's a shame she's not as cool though. Anyway,I also arrested Mega Man,who kept kicking cans into the bakery for cash. Also,some crazy journalist jacked a golf cart and was driving it all over the place. Finally,a bunch of looters stormed the Bad games depot and stole all our decoy games,it's only a matter of time before we catch them." It read.

"Hey look,a pet store!" Raz said as he pointed to the Family pet.

"So?" Harry said.

"Now we can adopt a pet to make this game cute!" Raz said as he ran inside. Shortly after that,a scream was heard. Harry ran inside. Johnny pulled an old newspaper out of his mouth and also ran inside.

"What?" He asked.

"Hamtaros dead!" Raz shrieked,pointing at a dead hamster inside a cage.

"That show was somewhat better than most crap you see on Cartoon Network these days." Harry said,as a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Except MAD." Johnny said. Harry opened the cage and grabbed a roll of film.

"What the truck is this doing in here?" He asked before he and Raz walked over to the dog cages.

"Hmmm,In some countries,people eat hamsters." Johnny said as he ate Hamtaro's corpse. Harry got a message when he passed a cage.

"I'm looking for a dog,that one. Oh,your looking for that dog? No,I'm looking for a replacement for the one I ran over,OF COURSE I'M LOOKING FOR THAT ONE! Sorry,I didn't know it was yours. Yeah,I've been looking all over for him. It's a girl. Her." It read. Johnny stole some cash from the register and they went into the back hall. Gunfire could be heard in the pet shop after they left (Reference to _Silent Hill 4_). A little shadow girl ran away from them.

"MERYL! Get your ass back here now!" Harry yelled. He saw a poster for Toluca security,which he called.

"Toluca security." It answered.

"Hello,my daughter is running around loose in this damn mall,I need you to restrain her!" Harry said.

"Are you kidding? There ain't no one in the mall." The officer said.

"Well we are! Can you please tell us how to get out?" Harry said.

"How come I can't see you on the cameras? How did you get in?" The Officer said.

"There aren't any cameras installed in this place. We got in through that pull door that you push." Harry said.

"That door was stuck,you couldn't have gotten in that way. Nice prank kid,but-" The officer started.

"Truck you,truck your mother,truck your father and truck your damn Mall!" Harry yelled before he hung up. "I thought the police were supposed to help you."

They continued through another door and entered a toy store.

"TOYS!" Raz squealed with delight. He started running around,observing all the toys. Harry saw a poster about a recall on this toy car.

"Damn it! I was gonna get that for Meryl's birthday!" Harry said as he called it's support number.

"Hello,Why the hell did you bastards recall the super red hot rod?" He asked.

"It had some hazards." The operator said.

"You mean like a choking hazard?" Harry asked.

"Actually,it used real gasoline. That could lead to poisoning,flammability,and explosions." The operator said. Harry hung up and looked to the side and spotted a safe. He went over and twisted the knob.

"Damn it,will you assholes shut the hell up? I'm trying to listen for the click!" Harry yelled.

"I didn't even breath." Johnny said.

"I'm not talking to you,I'm talking to the options menu to turn off the damn background music,I can't hear with it on." Harry said. The background music shut up and he heard the click and opened the safe. He pulled out a green stuffed dinosaur.

"What the truck? This idiot keeps a stupid beanie baby in his safe? Is he an ABDL?" Harry said as he threw it in his memento box. Raz was playing with a toy train. He placed a _Halo _action figure (Master Chief) on the rails.

"Oh no,Master chief is in the path of the train! What shall the residents do?" Raz said. Harry tried the front door to the shop.

"Damn,it's locked. I'd guess we'd better go back to-" He said before Raz's train crashed and fell over revealing a key.

"Wow,a giant golden key!" He said. Harry took it and unlocked the door. They left and Raz stood at the bottom of an escalator.

"Why do these damn things take so long?" He said. The others helped him up and they entered another back corridor. There was a mannequin back there.

"AAAAHHHHH! What is this games obsession with mannequins?" Harry said,startled. They walked away from it and heard a scream. The mannequin's head was cut off and blood was in it's place.

"_Silent Hill 3_,Hilltop center storage room." Harry said.

"OOOHHHH! A Ball!" Raz squealed as he dived towards a ball laying on a bench. It bounced up,and Raz smashed his head against the wall. Harry got a message.

"Look what I Got! He licks me and keeps me safe from big dumb guys on Steroids!" It read,along with a picture of a little girl and dog.

"Hey,that's Meryl! Then,that means the guy who was buying the dog...was an Imposter! Someone else has taken my identity! It's probably that damn Alan Wake! I'll fix him,the next time we meet!" Harry said. They entered a wide room with 2 stores to enter. A card store,or a Nail salon.

"Should we let the readers pick?" Johnny asked.

"Nah,they had their chance,but they were too busy ogling serious stories." Harry said.

"Where to?" Johnny asked.

"Lets go to the card shop,we can visit the other one in the 'Extras' Chapter." Harry said. They entered the store.

There were all sorts of cards. There were cards for Aliens,deaths,war and window washers.

"Window washers?" Johnny asked. Harry got another echo message when he passed the keypad on the exit door.

"What was the combination for the keypad? (Bang) (squeak). What the hell does that mean? THE WAR CARD AND WINDOW WASHER CARD! Oh." It read. Harry looked at the war and window washer cards.

"50th war." The war card read.

"23rd window washed." The other one read. Harry typed in 5023 and unlocked the door.

"Hey,I found a card for Milly!" Raz said as he held it up.

"To my dead cloned girlfriend." It read. They went in the back hall. There was a book laying on the trash bin.

"How to make yourself look like Xena?" Johnny read out loud. Harry got a message when he approached it.

"The store was attacked by these half naked chicks in leather with their breasts hanging out! They stole my cash and killed all my customers,claiming it gave them 'experience'. This one chick cut off my ear and said she was going to sell it to some guy for caps. What the hell is wrong with the kids today? Oh well,I've got to put on my Order outfit and meet with the founders to discuss how we are going to sacrifice the next child." It said. The guys moved into the next room,which was a camera shop.

"You guys Hungry?" Raz asked as he opened a Memory card's box and took a bite out of it. Bits of Circuitry fell out of his mouth as he chewed it. Harry got another damn echo message.

"Another thief. It was this hot ass blonde chick who shoved a memory card down her bra. It's worse than the evil path in _Fable_. I bet every man in this store would want to be that memory card." It said.

"Mmmmm,this phit is good,you guys want some?" Raz said as he started eating an Iphone.

"Dude,your stomachs gonna get torn up if you keep eating electronics." Johnny pointed out.

"Aww thats just a rumor." Raz said,as his chest started bleeding.

"Speaking of which,I better grab one of these for my phone,I'm running out of space on my phone." Harry said as he grabbed one and inserted it in his phone.

"I thought you only took like,10 pics." Johnny asked. Raz ate a DVD player.

"I took a few more." Harry said as he showed his phone. He had a picture of Him when he crashed his car,him in a thong,Johnny screaming at the sight of a Rawshock in the sinking car,Raz hanging upside down from a light post,and a picture of Eileen from _Silent Hill 4_,in the shower.

"How did you get in her apartment?" Johnny asked.

"She left her keys in my apartment." Harry said,vaguely remembering his past. Anyway,they left the shop and saw a shadow figure by a bench surrounded by a police no cross line. Harry snapped a photo.

"More ghost evidence,I should have been in _Metal Gear Solid_." Harry said. The photo turned out to be a hot teenage girl sitting on the bench with a body on the floor.

"911? I killed this guy! I thought he was trying to molest me so I pulled out my switch blade and stabbed him a couple times in the groin. What? Yes I'll hold. I can't believe a security guard tried to molest me." The message said. The guys came to a giant statue of a toucan,which they saw earlier.

"Good old Tookie. Wow,I didn't know that I'd know that." Harry said.

"Know what?" Johnny asked.

"I said- RAZ! Get down from there!" Harry yelled when Raz climbed on the toucan's head.

"Weee. Come on Toucan Sam,show me your fruit loops!" Raz said as he bounced up and down on it.

"Raz,damn you!" Harry said as he climbed up after him.

"AAAAHHH! The magical fruit loops are mine!" Raz yelled as he stepped out on the beak.

"Raz,this thing's made of plastic,I don't think-" Harry said before the statue fell over and broke into pieces due to the weight.

"I don't think we should have been up there,it wouldn't hold us." Raz finished Harry's sentence. Harry socked him in the face. He saw a poster about Joining Tookie in an upcoming feature,he dialed the number.

"We are sorry,but we are no longer recruiting children for "Tookie's children's crusade". If you are angry,please don't vent it here. You should have entered your brat in some of Tookie's other movies,such as "Tookie's blood sacrifice","Tookie's little girl rape" and "Tookie eats your children". Thank you,and have a nice day." It answered. The guys entered the Cinema.

"Damn,it's called a Cinema? I hope Charlie and Lola aren't here." Johnny said. They came to the lobby,which had a toy machine,games,and popcorn machine.

"Good times." Harry said,referring to the games. He reached in his pocket.

"Damn it! That bitch Cybil still has my wallet! Damn You Cybil!" Harry yelled. Raz was at the toy machine trying to get the Frankenstein figure.

"Damn,this is harder than that time I took that anti gravity device." Raz said.

Flashback...

Raz and his little robot friend were in a lounge of some kind. There was a floating statue of a woman with no legs or arms.

"Man,I wish every woman was like that,eh Pipo?" Raz nudged his robot friend.

"whee whee whheee." Pipo said,nodding. Raz saw something at the foot of the statue. He inspected it.

"Anti-gravity device. Cool,I can fly with this!" He said as he took it,the statue fell on him.

"Argh,Pipo,help." Raz said,the statue weighed a ton.

"Whee Whee Whee." Pipo beeped.

"On second thought,I forgot how long it's been since I've seen anything close to a woman. Might as well practice on this one. Hey sexy? How are you?" Raz said,rubbing the statue's breast.

Present...

Harry shoved Raz aside.

"You have to move this,than press this." He said as the crane grabbed the toy,then dropped it.

"You piece of PHIT!" He yelled as he smashed the glass and just grabbed the doll.

"This is like that crane game from _Mario Party 1_. It's rigged!" Harry said as he kicked the machine. He threw the doll in his memento Box.

"mmmmm,Popcorn." Johnny said as he went up to the popcorn machine. A hand pressed itself against the glass.

"Hey! Get the truck out of there man,your ruining the popcorn!" Johnny yelled. Alan Wake shoved his inked,Bleeding face against the glass.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" He screamed as he smashed through the glass. Harry pulled out the knife he'd been carrying since the forest level.

"You bastard! You stole my identity!" He said.

"What? I never even cared about your boring ass life." Wake said.

"Care this!" Harry said as he threw the knife at Wake,and missed by an inch.

"Phit." Harry said as he and the guys ran into the theater. The movie from the beginning of the game was playing.

"Those bastards stole my Home movies!" Harry said as he and the guys hid under the seats.

"Come out,come out wherever you are." Wake said,creepily,Revolver in hand.

"Dude,I think I'm sitting on an old lollipop." Johnny said.

"I found some old popcorn." Raz said.

"Shut the hell up!" Harry said.

"Hmmm,I wonder what movie this is?" Wake said as he sat down in the chair above Harry. The movie eventually faded to the close up of a woman.

"Whoa,must be a horror flick." Wake said.

"Now,our feature presentation." The narrator said. The actual Movie opened with some guy getting out of bed,with several different screenshots.

"Wait a minute..." Wake said,nervously. The man picked up a note.

"I'll pick up Jason for his birthday party." The note read.

"It can't be!" Wake said. The man went into the bathroom.

"It's..._Heavy Rain!_ The only game worse than mine!" Wake screamed as the man took off his briefs and got in the shower.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Wake screamed before his head exploded. The guys came out from hiding.

"ewww,is that guy naked?" Raz asked,pointing at the film.

"Let's get the truck out of here before we explode too!" Harry yelled as they ran through the exit doors. Harry saw a poster for The cinema,which he called.

"Welcome to the cinema hot line. To learn what movies we have showing,press 1. To learn how you can kill yourself with the crane game,press 2. To learn how you can avoid stories by Leon 13,press 3." It said. Harry pressed 1.

"You have selected movies we have showing. This weekend is 'Make your child cry' week. We have several depressing animated films including,_Bambi,The Ringing Bell of Chirin,Secret of NIMH,Plague Dogs,and Watership Down_. We also have a selection of 'Scar your child for life' movies which include _Watership Down,All dogs go to heaven,Brave little toaster,Adventures of Mark Twain,Mountain of the Dinosaurs,Animal Farm,The Mouse and his child,and Fritz the cat_." It said. He then got a message from Dahlia.

"Hey man,where are you? I'm feeling lonely." It read.

"Why won't this stupid bitch leave me alone?" Harry said as he deleted the message. The guys went through another door and ended up outside.

"And we're back in the frozen tundra! Geez,where is this town located? Alaska?" Johnny asked. They came across a shadow figure laying behind a car.

"Ewww,I can see where this is going." Harry said as he took a picture and got a message.

"We hit something. Yeah,no phit. I constantly tell you to watch where the hell your going! Will you shut your emo pie hole for once in your life? Get out and see what we hit! Fine,I hope it wasn't Artyom again. Oh phit. What? Oh phit. I just said that. Damn it,I just got him 3 days ago! He costs 100 bucks! What am I going to use to keep her busy now?" It read. The figure was a dog.

"So much for a _Haunting Ground_ scenario." Harry said as he saw a parking sign with a phone number,which he called.

"Towing service." it said.

"Yeah my car crashed into a pole somewhere near this auto shop,I was wondering if you could tow it to a shop." Harry said.

"How long ago was the crash?" It asked.

"About 2 and a half days ago." Harry said.

"Sorry,we only tow recently damaged cars." It said.

"But-" Harry started as it hung up. They soon came to the Green Lion pawn shop.

"This is the address I spent Half of the game looking for." Harry said.

"Isn't this the place where you found an ax behind the wall?" Raz asked.

"It was,god knows whats in there now." Harry said. They went inside,it was like a dirty toy shop.

"If only I had a woman to use this stuff on." Johnny said. Raz tried the door.

"It's locked,we need to find a control panel to unlock it." he said.

"Raz,this isn't _Overblood_. Here,we use keys. And I see one in this protection cage." Harry said as he stuck his hand through the opening and reached for the key which was on a shelf,his arm was too short through.

"Oohh,A wooden stake! This will be handy against vampires!" Raz said as he took the peg that was holding the shelf up. The shelf fell down,smashing Harry's hand and throwing the key on the spinning disk. Johnny was trying on a Gimp costume.

"Owww,Damn it Raz! I almost had it! What do we do now?" Harry yelled.

"Let's play roulette!" Raz said as he spun the disk thing on the counter around and threw the keys into Harry's face.

"Raz,I will kill you if you do something like that again!" He yelled as he unlocked the door.

"I'm gonna check behind that cage and see if theres anything we can loot." Johnny said as he went behind a cage. He opened a blue box and found a ring,which he showed Harry.

"Hmmm,this just looks like a piece of junk. I would go well with your blood stained pink jacket and butterfly nailed in your chest though." Harry said as Johnny put it on. The guys went up the stairs. There was a stuffed Tookie doll on the shelf.

"Awwww,I love these plushy animals!" Raz said as he squeezed it.

"Honey? Is that you?" A voice in the next room said. Harry went in and saw this old ugly hag.

"Who the hell are you?" She asked.

"Harry Mason." Harry said.

"Harry,sweetie,I thought you were dead!" The bitch said.

"Where's Meryl?" Harry asked.

"Cheryl? Still at the lighthouse maybe." The hag said.

"Are you serious? I spent half of the game wandering around to reach this area and now I have to do it again?" Harry said.

"Thats what the guide says. I'm so happy your alive." The hag said,taking his hand. She wore the same ring as he did.

"Now we can cuddle again." She said.

"Ewww,Your my wife?" Harry asked as the world froze over yet again.

"Well,these nightmare sequences are better than making love to a rapidly aged emo bitch." Harry said,as he left the room.

Parker was sitting on the couch,eating one of those freeze popsicles. He heard a knock on his door. He walked over to it and opened it,revealing Zoey,Bill,Francis,and Nick,all whom look like they've seen a ghost. Zoey procured the Cursed game and shoved it in Parker's arms before they ran away like hell.

Parker looked at the game,he almost pissed himself. The game had somehow found it's way back to him. There was no hope that Alex could finish it,he was traumatized by playing nothing but _Fatal Frame and Alan Wake_. There was only one left to finish it,and that was himself.

To Be continued...

**Whoa,this was one mother of a chapter,ehh? Now we're going to have to go through another boring-ass nightmare sequence. I can't wait till I finish this story so I can work on Bio-Jock. By the way,did you guys know that there was a hammer used as a weapon in Silent Hill 1? My strategy guide told me nothing of it.**

**Supremacists Suck!**


	14. Raz comedy hour

Chapter 14:Raz comedy hour

Disclaimer:I don't own Silent Hill,Resident Evil,Echo Night,F.E.A.R,Legend of Spyro,Left 4 dead,Klonoa,Dead Space,Morpheus,Earth Defense Force,or Overblood. I do own Johnny,Andrew,Layer and Parker. Get this through your thick skull,I DON'T OWN SILENT HILL!

* * *

Parker put the game in his PS2. He sat down on his diapered rear and took a deep breath. Next to him was a bucket in case he vomited and 6 five hour energy drinks. He turned on the game,determined to put a stop to it's curse.

Harry walked back in the hallway,Raz had his tongue stuck to the Tookie doll.

"Who was in there?" Johnny asked.

"It looked like a _Reba_ enthusiast." Harry said. "Why did you lick that Raz?"

"The birdie wanted to be fed." Raz said,as he finally pulled his tongue off it. The guys went downstairs and saw that they were in a huge chamber,with a bottomless pit.

"Dude,it looks like we just entered that painting of the upside down castle." Johnny said.

"Maybe we can fly!" Raz said as he tried to jump off the ledge,but Harry grabbed him.

"Save the retarded jokes for when we're running." He said. They moved out to the edge of the walkway.

"The guy who made this game must have a hole fetish. First the pits in _Silent Hill 2_. Then the hole in the wall in _Silent Hill 4_. Then the fissure in _Silent Hill:Homecoming_. Now this." Harry said.

"Do you think it's safe?" Johnny asked.

"It has to be,how else would James survive?" Harry said. Raz sneezed and recoiled back into them,pushing them off the ledge and falling into the pit.

"Damn it Raz!" Harry yelled as he strangled Raz while falling in midair. There were little niches that held apartments on the wall. One had Layer's child playing the game. Another had Andrew and Boland playing it. One had Alice and her assistant playing it. And the last one had the _Left 4 dead_ crew playing it. They all landed hard on the floor of a large room.

"See,nothing to it." Harry said as he painfully got up. His phone picked up static noise.

"What? Echo messages at a time like this?" He asked as he pulled it out and started following it.

"Whoa,that was some fall. Harry?" Johnny said as he got up and ran after Harry.

"(Cough) (Cough) I'm allergic to ice." Raz said as he got up and took after the guys. Harry was following the static on his phone.

"Who the hell does this message belong to?" Harry asked. They hit it's source and everything flashed white. When they regained their vision,they were in a hallway.

"Whoa,Teleportation echo messages." Harry said.

"For a second,I thought we were in _Echo Night_." Raz said.

"What?" Johnny asked.

"_Echo night_,you know,the game where your on the boat with all the ghosts?" Raz said again.

"Are you sure your not talking about _Morpheus_?" Johnny asked.

"No. In fact,The guy from that game hired me and Milly to take down the guy of that game because it stole elements from his game. You can read about it in Leon XIII's Echo Fright story." Raz said. They went down the hall and came into this small room with a TV.

"Yay! _Teletubbies_ are on!" Raz said as he sat down on the freezing couch and turned it on. Nothing but static.

"Awwww,can you guys do something about this?" Raz asked. Johnny started adjusting the TV's antenna. Channel 13 News was on.

"In tonight's news,a young nurse was found dead in her apartment." Andrew said.

"Ohh Phit." Harry said.

"The officer who discovered her claimed that she saw Harry Mason hovering over her with his 2 comrades in arms. Somehow,he escaped her,we have her with us tonight. Cybil,how did Harry escape you?" Andrew asked.

"Ya see,I was holding him at gunpoint,then,all the sudden,he vanished." Cybil said.

"You mean into like,thin air?" Andrew asked,raising a brow.

"Yeah,he must have access to some kind of time freezing technology." Cybil said,scratching her diaper.

"Okay...Well we can all rest safely tonight knowing that police like Cybil here will protect us from...Time controlling bandits. I'm Andrew Sanders-" Andrew started.

"By the way,do you have any extra diapers? I went number 1 in mine." Cybil interupted.

"Good night." Andrew said as Raz changed the channel to Teletubbies.

"Yay! They're playing with guns in this episode!" Raz said as the purple one accidentally shot the red one.

"Raz,my ass is colder than Cole Macbeth's Karma from _Infamous_. Let's forget the gay men pretending to be ….whatever the hell they are and haul ass." Harry said as he dragged Raz away from the TV. Soon,they heard static again.

"They should have a game thats solely about echo messages. It would be way more successful than this one." Harry said as he walked further into the next room. There was a mirror on the wall.

"ooh,a Magic mirror! Mirror Mirror on the wall,whos the fairest of them all?" Raz asked the mirror. A picture of _Earth Defense Force:Insect Armageddon_ appeared. Suddenly,they teleported to another location.

"I wonder if the creators of this game also played _Echo Night_?" Harry asked.

"Someone grabbed my balls. Harry?" Johnny asked.

"That wasn't me." Harry said as he shone the flashlight over Johnny,revealing it was Raz.

"Oh,sorry,I thought this was a bag of peanuts." Raz said as he let go.

"Raz,stop squeezing my shoulder." Johnny said.

"That wasn't me." Raz said.

"Sorry,I was noting how large your shoulder's were." Harry said as he let go.

"Which one of you is pulling my ear?" Johnny asked.

"Not me." Said Harry.

"Not Me." Said Raz.

"Sorry,I have an obsession with ear lobes." Said the Rawshock.

"AAAAAHHHHHH!" Screamed the guys as they ran out of the room.

"This doorway's blue,lets go through it." Harry said as they ran through this door. Rawshocks watched as they ran through another door and back through the other for six times.

"Didn't we pass those Rawshocks 5 times already?" Johnny asked.

"My god! They're multiplying!" Harry yelled as they finally chose a different door. They came to an intersection.

"Which way?" Harry asked.

"The Right way!" Raz said as he ran down the right corridor.

"Raz,that joke didn't even make sense." Harry said as he and Johnny ran after him. They opened the door,revealing a sunlit field with a creature in red pants and long white tipped ears.

"Oh my God,It's Klonoa! Hi!" Raz screamed. Klonoa turned around,revealing that he didn't have a face.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Hes become one of those demon nurses!" Harry screamed as they slammed the door shut. Klonoa took his white mask off.

"Why does everyone run away whenever I put on my draw-on mask?" He asked in his native tongue. The guys tried the next door,it opened into the hallway of some kind of lobby,with a huge stairway with red carpet.

"Cool,we're free!" Johnny said.

"I'm gonna get some fresh air." Raz said as he opened these double doors and 2 zombie dogs burst in.

"A PUPPY!" Raz squealed as he opened his arms as one tackled him. Harry and Johnny pulled it off and they ran back into the icy hallway. They took the last door and wound up in a pitch black room.

"I hope this isn't another _FEAR_ room." Harry said as they walked in. A door lit up in the distance and the little shadow girl ran at them.

"MERYL!" Harry said as he opened his arms and the figure ran through him.

"What? Damn IT!" He yelled as they ran through the next door.

"God,I keep falling asleep. These chase segments are soooo Boring." Johnny said.

"I wish there was something to entertain us." Harry said.

"Have an Ice day." Raz joked.

"I meant something good." Harry said,slapping Raz.

We'll be right back after this trailer...

"In Space,No one can hear you scream."

Isaac Clarke ran up a ramp away from a Slasher.

"Someone may hear laughter if they are retarded."

Isaac pushed a piano down the ramp and the Slasher ran back down.

"Coming from Leon XIII-"

Isaac opened a door and a Slasher stabbed him.

"#$%&ing Survival Horror games!" He yelled as he shot it with his plasma cutter.

"Comes a Parody unlike any other."

An Asteroid hit the Kellion and Kendra smeared her lipstick all over her face,looking at her reflection in the glass.

"Also Featuring Richard Osmond from _Echo Night_ and Theodore Holmes from _Morpheus_."

Richard and Holmes drew lightsabers and started fighting.

"Bled Space! A nonstop parade of action!"

Isaac was blowing up asteroids with the cannon while Richard just stood by watching,both were on the verge of sleep.

"Coming as soon as I can get this craphole called a story over with. Oh,and Bio Jock."

Back to Silent Kill...

The guys had run through countless doorways while evading a hundred rawshocks that would require incredible effort to write. They came to yet another ledge.

"Dead end?" Johnny asked.

"Nope,main path." Harry said as he Swan dived into the pit.

"Cannon Ball!" Johnny yelled as he Cannon balled into the pit.

"Pipo!" Raz yelled as he just fell backwards into the pit. As they fell,pictures of Harry's opening Movie lined the wall.

"Seriously? Did someone on Facebook hack my profile and posted this on youtube?" Harry asked.

"Look,a clock just passed by!" Raz said as they passed a bunch of Phit from _Alice in Wonderland_. Johnny grabbed a cookie that was randomly floating by. They also passed a cow,Lara Croft in a bathing suit, and an ice figure of Cheryl.

"Meryl!" Harry yelled as he grabbed her frozen form and hugged it. "I missed you so much!" It crumbled,leaving only her arm.

"NOOO! I'm a murderer!" Harry cried.

"Jee,this is a deep-" Johnny started as they slammed down hard on the floor. They were in a room with no walls.

"I can't believe I killed her! This is all thats left!" Harry cried,holding the frozen arm up.

"I feel your pain,I remember my old robot buddy,Pipo." Raz said.

"Who gives a phit about your retarded robot that no one has ever heard of?" Harry yelled.

"You heartless freak!" Raz yelled as he charged Harry with his Laser knife. Harry stepped to the side and Raz ran into some kind of invisible wall and fell down.

"Whoa,magic barrier." Harry said as he touched it.

"I'll bust us a way out of here!" Johnny said as he charged into the room and slammed into another invisible wall,that was funneled and almost broke his shoulder.

"An invisible passage!" Harry said as he walked down it and into another wall.

"This is the worst gimmick we've come up with yet!" Harry said.

"I'm tired." Raz said as he leaned against an invisible wall,and fell through it.

"Great googly moogly! Another secret passage!" Harry said as he walked through it. They saw a frozen figure on a bed.

"Who the hell is that? Maria from _Grand theft Auto_?" Johnny asked.

"No,it's the hag from that room,shes my wife." Harry said,depressed.

"Ewww." Johnny said. Raz moved in front of it and started doodling on her face.

"Raz,why the hell do you keep doing that!" Harry asked.

"It amuses the reader." Raz said as he drew a mustache.

"Oh,Carry on." Harry said. He and Johnny approached it and they teleported to another area.

"What the? Where the hell are we now?" Harry asked.

"Hey look,I found a red carrot." Raz said as he held up a flare.

"Gimme that!" Harry screeched.

"No,I'm hungry." Raz said as he took a bite out of it and spit it out immediately afterwards because he ignited it.

"Damn it Raz,we could have used that against the Rawshocks!" Harry yelled.

"I think we are." Raz said as he pointed to the cowering Rawshock in the corner.

"Oh,we'd better run then." Harry said as they dashed out of the room. They trampled over another Rawshock waiting in the corridor.

"I wish I was a ghost from _Silent Hill 4_." It said with it's last breath.

"I wish I was like a bird,so I could fly away!" Raz said,flapping his arms.

"Jokes like that are the only reason we keep you." Harry said. A large group of Rawshocks chased behind them.

"They gaining on us!" Johnny cried.

"Don't worry,I got an idea." Harry said as he pulled out the Frankenstein figure and sprayed it with Axe deodorant. He dropped it.

"Oh my god,I smell something so sexy..." A Rawshock said.

"Yeah,forget that Harry guy,I wanna do this doll!" Another Rawshock said,making out with the figure.

"Give him to me,I smelled him first!" The other said,wrestling with the other.

"Piss off!" The other yelled.

"I want him!" Another yelled.

"No,I want him!" All the others yelled as they piled on top of the doll. The guys came to another pitch black room.

"Cool,another pit." Harry said as he swan dived onto the floor.

"Hey,there's a door a mile that way!" Johnny pointed out.

"I can fly us there!" Raz said as he ran towards it with his arms stretched out.

"Hold up,tard!" Harry yelled as he and Johnny ran after Raz. They ran in the darkness for several minutes and still weren't even close to the door. Raz passed out on the black floor.

"I can't believe we haven't been followed by the rawshocks." Harry said as he drifted off the path and bumped into a wall.

"Yeah,must still be making out with that toy." Johnny said as he tripped over a black coffee table.

Meanwhile...

A Rawshock ran quickly into a room and slammed the door shut,doll in hand.

"At last,we are alone my darling." It said to the doll. It got on a nearby bed and started doing M rated material with it. The other Rawshocks pounded on the door. Several of them picked up another and used him like a battering ram,slamming his head against the door. All of them had forgotten about Harry and friends.

Back to Harry...

Harry and the guys finally made it to the door (After tripping over lots of black furniture) and they opened it. It looked like a girls room,or a guy who was forced to live like a girl.

"I'm sleepy." Raz said as he passed out on the bed.

"This is her!" Harry said as he looked at a photo of him and Cheryl on a mirror. Johnny started digging through her underwear.

"Hey,stop that! Shes only 7!" Harry yelled.

"Why does your seven year old daughter wear a Victoria's secrets thong?" Johnny asked,holding up that garment.

"...Maybe...It's her mothers." Harry said.

"PIPO! NOOOOOOOO!" Raz screamed in his sleep.

"Are you sure shes seven? That botox bitch said she knew her at high school." Johnny said,cringing at the thought of Michelle.

"I'm positive! I'm the most up to date man on the planet!" Harry said.

"Then why was your license expired?" Johnny asked.

"MILLY!" Raz screamed again.

"Maybe I forgot to update it." Harry said.

"What about those people living in your house for fourteen years?" Johnny asked.

"They were probably high on crystal meth and other 80s drugs,they're like the Brady bunch." Harry said.

"Why did Cybil say your not Harry mason?" Johnny asked again.

"Maybe Cybil is mentally damaged." Harry said.

"Why-" Johnny started.

"GOD GET THE #$% OFF MY BACK! CAN'T I GET A MOMENT OF #$%ING PEACE? I CAN'T STAND THIS ANYMORE! I'M GONNA PASS OUT IN FRUSTERATION!" Harry yelled as he did that very thing and fell on top of Raz.

"Sweet,now I can raid her panties in peace." Johnny said. The Frankenstein doll hit him square in the face.

"You dolls are all the same!" A Rawshock who entered the room yelled as it left. Johnny passed out on top of Harry.

To be continued...

**Well,this went better than most nightmare chapters. Thank god I'm almost finished. 3 more chapters if my outline is correct. If you like to gossip about Silent Hill,check out the Silent Heaven forum,I've left a few comments.**

**Supremacists suck!**


	15. The Thing aka Michelle

Chapter 15:The Thing (aka Michelle)

Disclaimer:I still don't own Silent Hill,Overblood,Red dead Redemption,Legend of Zelda,Freedom Fighters. I do own Johnny and Parker.

**Hey,guess what? I've decided to do a pre-story commentary like some of the other writers! Let's see...Did you know that all the characters in _Drawn to life_ are just part of a dream by the one human in it? Well I just ruined the ending for you suckers! Read this story or I'll kill your dog!**

Dr. K had now removed his pants,leaving him in his heart boxers.

"Thank god,this damn game is almost over. Now,we're discussing love. Do you love someone?" He asked,the patient shook her head.

"Back to the head shaking again ehh? Do you love uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hot chocolate?" He asked. The patient didn't do anything,dumbfounded by the retarded question.

"Forget it,lets just move on to the activity. On the table,there are six photos and a sheet with six spaces. I want you to pair each of these people into couples,and don't leave any spaces blank this time or I'll smash this bottle of Vodka over your head." He said as he took a swig from his bottle.

There were cards of Spyro and Cynder from_ Legend of Spyro_,Myself,Cole Macgrath from _inFamous_,Kitana from _Mortal Combat_,and Hildy from _Dead to Rights_. The patient paired Myself with Cynder,Cole with Spyro,and Kitana and Hildy.

"Aaahhh,yes. I see you believe in gay marriage. You disgust me beyond belief. I'm sure Leon XIII would like his result. Now,I want you to tell me which of these couples is still together." Dr. K said. The patient pointed to me and Cynder.

"It was a joke,if you weren't homosexual you might have known that. Lets hurry up so the writer can finish up this story." He said.

Johnny was dreaming about naked women before he finally had the strength to open his eyes. He regretted doing so as he saw a hideous robot of some kind with an unmovable smile on it's face. He screamed and pushed it back as he stood up.

"Damn it,what are you doing here?" Johnny asked.

"I wanted to see if Harry found his daughter yet." Michelle(yes,the robot) said.

"MILLY!" Raz yelled as he stood up and threw Harry off his back. "Oh,hello botox monster." He said waving to Michelle. Harry woke up.

"ugggghhh,My head holds so much frustration,nobody say anything." He said as he got up.

"Harry,did you-" Michelle started before Harry socked her in the face.

"Where the hell did you go? You stupid bitch!" Harry asked.

"I got a call from my boyfriend,saying he was at the Police station,I had to bail him out. What did you do with my bosses car?" Michelle said and asked,while still holding a smile even though her nose was bleeding.

"Some creepy goth chick who knows Meryl-" Harry started.

"Cheryl." Michelle corrected,Harry slapped her.

"Don't interrupt me! She asked for the keys and she took us to the bridge which I lowered,then the world froze and the car plunged into the lake. Now,after spending 7 chapters making my way here,I have to get to the lighthouse now." Harry said.

"The only way to get there is by boat." Michelle pointed out.

"Do you have a car?" Harry asked,forcefully grabbing her by her shoulders.

"I said you needed a boat." Michelle said before Harry slapped her.

"I mean can you drive us to a boat?" Harry screeched at her.

"My boyfriend can drive us to the docks." Michelle said,unfazed by Harry's aggression. He let go of her.

"Good,lets go boys." Harry said as they left Cheryl's room and started downstairs.

"By the way,did you see an old woman by any chance?" Harry asked.

"No,you guys are the only people in here." Michelle said.

"Thank god,it was just a hallucination." He said. On the way out,Michelle grabbed some bottles of Botox that were being sold at the store. They went outside to her car where they met her boyfriend...

"John Marston? The protagonist from _Red dead redemption_?" Harry asked.

"Yep." John said.

"Hey,theres only enough room for 2 more passengers." Johnny said.

"Don't worry,I'll fix that." John said as he went over to Raz and tied a rope around him.

"Whats this for?" Raz asked.

"It's a harness for a helicopter." John said,lying.

"Oh,neato." Raz said. John tied the other end of the rope to the car's rear bumper. Then they all got in the car,except Raz.

"Wheres the helicopter? I don't hear-" Raz said as he was pulled to the ground and drug across the snow covered black top by the car.

"Weeee! A sled ride! Without the sled!" Raz said as he was drug along behind the car,accumulating snow on his body.

"Where did you 2 meet?" Johnny asked.

"At the bar." John said. Harry laughed as he watched Raz from the back window. "Listen,Michelle,we have to talk."

"Can't it wait? I'm sure Harry and Johnny don't want to hear it." Michelle said.

"Oh,we want to hear it. Some emotional tension is just what this game needs." Harry said.

"See? They don't mind." John said.

"John,I love you." Michelle said,still smiling.

"No,you love the John in your botox induced head. There's probably some much of that crap in there that you can't even answer a simple math problem." John said again.

"Yes I can." Michelle said.

"What's 2 plus 2?" John asked.

"uhhhh,5?" Michelle guessed.

"Damn it! See what I mean? This relationship is over!" John said as he slammed on the brakes and Raz slammed against the trunk of the car. John got out and ran off.

"Wait,John! You forgot your Volcanic Pistol!" Michelle yelled,running after him. Harry got in the drivers seat.

"Damn,he took his keys. Now,how do you hotwire this thing?" Harry pondered as he tore out the wires and started pressing them against each other. Lights flickered and horns honked,but he couldn't get the car to start.

"Damn,I think I burnt out the battery. I hope that dude has insurance. Check the glove box for any dough." Harry said. Johnny opened the glove box and grabbed an antique pen.

"Cool,this is probably worth something on eBay." He said as he and Harry got out of the car. Raz got up and brushed the snow off himself.

"Whoa,I think I lost the lowest layer of my skin." Raz said.

"Let's see if we can find the odd couple." Harry said as they started walking down the road. They came to a ladder.

"Not another ladder." Harry said as he slowly climbed down it.

"Hey,nothing h-" Harry started as Raz fell on him.

"What the hell?" Harry asked.

"Ladder's are for pussies. Real men jump." Raz said. Harry shoved him off.

"Johnny is a man and he-" Harry started again as Johnny fell on him.

"Sorry,I slipped on the ice." Johnny said. Harry shoved him off. They walked a few feet and saw a tunnel leading into the sewers.

"They can't have gone in there,unless John has a thing for human waste." Harry pointed out.

"Perhaps they took off in a different direction." Raz suggested.

"How? There aren't any other routes." Harry said.

"Maybe they got past them before they were sealed." Raz suggested.

"Look,just shut up and stop trying to make sense out of this game." Harry said as they walked in. Harry got another text message from Dahlia.

"Oh,my god." He said as he took out his phone.

"Say,you want to head over to my place and do some drugs?" It read,before Harry deleted it. While walking down the hall,they came to a broken pillar structure that held the HQ of the _Freedom Fighters_.

"I say we hit the bridge." Baxton said.

"No,we should take out the helipad." Suggested Mr. Jones.

"Your both wrong,we're going after the prison." Suggested Chris,pointing at the map.

"I'm in charge here. I say we just pack up and get the hell out of this cameo." Isabella said.

"Agreed." Said the guys as they grabbed all their gear and took off out of the sewer. The other guy,the ones from the actual story,passed by the structure. They almost passed a drainage pipe with a dead fish in it.

"MMMMM,Fish." Raz said,drooling.

"How the hell did a fish end up in a drainage pipe? Did someone flush it down the toilet?" Harry asked. Raz grabbed the fish and was about to bite it,but it bit him in the nose.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! Help Me!" Raz screamed pulling at it. Harry grabbed a fishing line that was dangling out of it's mouth and yanked on it,tearing the fish's mouth off and throwing a friendship bracelet to the ground.

"Best friends forever!" Raz said as he picked it up and put it on his wrist next to his skull band. Then he grabbed the fish and ate it. The guys continued through the incredibly boring sewer.

"Are you sure they went this way?" Johnny asked.

"Hell if I know. They could have taken a helicopter or some phit like that. All I know is that this is the path we take. Michelle's on her own." Harry said as his phone rang and he answered it.

"Daddy...Help me." It said.

"Meryl? Meryl,sweetie,where are you?" Harry asked. It went dead. "Damn it! I hate that dropped phone call gimmick!" He said again. They went further until they came to a bulkhead door.

"Batten down the hatches maties!" Raz said as he tried to turn it's valve with all his strength,but it wouldn't budge,even when Raz's neck veins bulged out.

"No use,it's stuck." Raz said,exhausted.

"Outta the way pussy." Johnny said as he shoved Raz into the wall and turned the valve with a flick of his wrist and the door swung open. They continued past the door,where they reached a ladder going up.

"I'll just jump and climb up on the ledge." Raz said as he jumped,grabbed the ledge,and slipped,falling on his back. He tried again and this time he held on,but was unable to pull himself up,despite his neck veins again. Harry and johnny just climbed up the ladder while Raz foolishly tried to lift himself up. They emerged on the street of the resort town.

"Almost there,nothing to it." Raz said in a squeak-like voice. Johnny pulled him up.

"HA! I did it! Let that be a lesson to you pussies!" Raz said,flexing his muscles before Johnny punched him in the face. Harry walked by a red car and got an echo message from the map on top of it.

"Here,finally. Hey,your the one who wanted to stop at that damn shopping mall! At least I didn't spend my daughter's college fund on a Houseboat owned by a hippy! Can we get out and get some souvenirs? At least I didn't take six shots of coke on the way here! At least I didn't wear a pair of glasses fished out from a garbage can. I'll have you know that these are my grand father's glasses! Daddy,Mommy,will you please stop fighting? At least I didn't fall in love with the bitch from _Dino Crisis 3_. Did not! Did Too! Did Not! Did too! Did not! Did too!" It read.

"Hmmmm,I remember finding my pair of Glasses in a garbage can? That imposter really knows what goes on in my life." Harry muttered to himself. They moved further down the road,the wind was heavy. It blew a newspaper into Raz's face.

"AAAAAHHHHHH! It's a face hugger!" He said as he fell to the ground and rolled down the street before Johnny grabbed him. Harry and him were having a difficult time moving forward,as the wind was growing stronger. Harry held on to a light post and Johnny held on to him with his right arm,holding Raz in the other.

"Damn,this town has the phittiest weather! I thought this was supposed to be ash!" Harry yelled over the wind. The wind lifted them off their feet and pulled on them like a flag on a pole.

"Jeez,is there a snow devil nearby?" Johnny yelled. Harry's finger's slipped and they flew through the air and slammed into a nearby building. Raz finally took the newspaper off his face and saw an Indian statue.

"It's the chief! HOW! You show us way to lighthouse?" Raz asked it. "Ahhhh,your one of those silent ones."

"Raz,it's a damn cigar stand." Harry pointed out.

"CIGARS!" Johnny asked,happily as he tore open the box the statue was holding. He got a look of despair on his face as he saw the only thing in it was a little girl's disposable camera.

"Mother trucker!" He said as he punched the statue's head off.

"Johnny! That's no way to treat our native brothers!" Raz said as he picked up the head. "Forgive him,he stupid." He said again as he put it back on backwards. Harry took the camera,put it in his memento box and the boys retreated inside a nearby souvenir shop.

"The souvenir's this town should really sell are action figures and clothes based on the game,it'd be rich." Harry said.

"Look! We reached the lighthouse!" Raz said,pointing at a little Lighthouse key chain inside a glass cabinet.

"Raz,that's just a stupid key-" Harry started.

"It's protected by some invisible force field!" Raz said,pressing against the glass.

"I'm bored as hell. Let's blow." Johnny said.

"But we can't leave the lighthouse trapped here." Raz said. Johnny shoved him aside and pulled out the drawer the key chain was on and handed it to Raz.

"There,now can we go?" He asked impatiently.

"But where? There aren't any other paths." Harry pointed out,he pulled out his phone and checked his GPS.

"Yay! The littlest lighthouse is safe! All thanks to super Raz!" Raz said as he twirled around and caught a nearby curtain around him and tripped and slammed his head against a counter,yanking the curtainoff and revealing a door.

"Why the hell would someone hide a door? That's a huge fire hazard." Johnny said.

"Thanks Raz,couldn't have done it without your stupidity." Harry said as he patted Raz on his dislocated shoulder. They went through the door and ended up back outside. They saw Joshua from _Raw Danger_ and Stephanie standing in front of a helicopter that was guarded by a guy in a suit.

"Sorry,we're only accepting wounded people." The guy in the suit said.

"That's fine,Josh and I aren't-" Stephanie started before Joshua broke his leg on the ground.

"Oh no,I'm injured." He said,unenthusiastically.

"Joshua,I thought you were going to help me find my step mother!" Stephanie said.

"Hell no,I want to live bitch!" Joshua said as he punched her in the face and limped into the chopper which took off.

"Hey guys,look!" Johnny said as he pointed to a building. "It's a bar,and it's open!" He said as he ran towards it.

"OOOOOHHHH,A telespoke!" Raz said as he ran for this telescope.

"Raz,we don't have time for this!" Harry said as he ran after him. Raz looked though the telescope's eyepiece.

"I love these tourist attractions." He said as he swiveled it around and a bright light shone in his eye,causing his pupil to shrink. "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M BLIND!" He yelled as he fell back. A diamond ring fell out of the coin slot.

"WOW! This is gonna make me rich! Thanks Raz." Harry said as he put it in his memento box. He guided Raz (who now had a green eye) into the bar. Inside,Johnny was drinking a bottle of whiskey and Michelle had her head down at a table,a slice of red velvet cake sat in front of her.

"Michelle,how the hell did you get-" Harry started before Michelle raised her head. Harry recoiled in terror as he saw splotches of black,red,and pink on her still smiling face. This was what was left of her make-up,melted by tears.

"Hi Harry,john and I broke up." She said,with a large smile glued to her face.

"God,what happened to you? Did you just attend clown school?" Harry asked.

"Mmmmm,that cake looks good." Raz said,drooling.

"I guess I should cut down on the make up I wear." Michelle said.

"Good for you,now can you drive us to the damn docks already?" Harry asked impatiently.

"Sorry,John has the keys." Michelle said.

Meanwhile,at the start of the level...

"Who the hell tore out these wires? And why is my battery dead? I forgot to renew my insurance,damn!" John said.

Back to the bar...

Harry grabbed Michelle by her shoulders.

"You stupid bitch! You said you would drive us there!" Harry roared.

"Relax,the dock isn't far from here." Michelle said,unfazed.

"It better not. Or else,I'm gonna tear that stupid smile right off your face." Harry growled as he let go of her. "Lets go." He said again.

"Follow me to the landing pad." Said Johnny,drunk. The guys left through a back door.

"At least I still have my-" Michelle started as she saw her cake was missing. Raz took another bite out of it as he strolled down the exit hallway.

Meanwhile,at the lighthouse...

"God,If I wasn't 40 years old,I would make out with you right on this coffee table." Dr. K said to the patient. "I love y-AAahhhh,when did you get here?" He asked the camera.

"Sorry,I can't believe this is the second therapy session this chapter. Alright,now we get to the topic that gives certain Tv shows incredible ratings,SEX! Unfortunately,this is a T rated fic,so we can't show the reader anything dirty. On the table are several images,I want you to place the ones that remind you of sex in the right column and the ones that don't on the next." Dr. K said.

The images included Kratos,hot dog,banana,train,balloon,Pyramid head,and condom. The patient put all of them in the left column.

"NONE OF THEM? This not only proves your a lesbian,it also proves that you have no idea what sex is. Sex is like death. You deny sex,you deny death. How they're related is beyond me,but your denying them. You think your like,Dante from _Dante's Inferno_,killing the grim reaper and Satan himself. But then how do you explain those scenes in _Silent Hill 3_,when Vaitel drags your dead corpse away? Huh? Huh?" Dr. K said in the patient's face.

Back to Harry..

The guys were outside again. Raz threw the plate and fork his cake was on away.

"I wish there were more bars that serve Red velvet." He said. They came to a bench with a box on it.

"I hope there isn't a baby inside." Harry said. He reached for it and that treasure chest music from _Legend of Zelda_ started playing. He reached in it and that do do do doooo theme played as he pulled out a red stuffed dragon.

"Who the hell is leaving all this random crap laying around anyway? I hope we get a bonus for collecting them all." Harry said as he put it in his memento box. They pressed on,entering the next chapter...

Parker couldn't stop twitching,he had consumed all his 5-hour energy drinks. He threw up the macaroni he ate and was afraid to eat anything else because he'd vomit that too. Yet,he continued playing,hopeing to end this damn game.

To be continued...

**Another chapter done! Even X-play said this game was dull. I wish G4 was still on directTV in my area. For your information,that preview from the last chapter is real,I do plan on making a Dead Space parody,I'm just gonna hold off until I finish this story and Bio-Jock.**

**Supremacists suck!**


	16. The Unepic Conclusion

Chapter 16:The Un-epic Conclusion

Disclaimer:I still don't and never will own Silent Hill,Drawn to life,Left 4 dead,Obscure,Star Wars,Bulletstorm,Prey,Klonoa,Bioshock,Overblood,Duke Nukem,F.E.A.R,or Echo Night. I do own Johnny and Parker.

**You know what I was just thinking about? When they put children's shows on only at weekdays during the day. Like,there are shows that teach them life lessons and have lovable animal characters and the kids don't even get to see them because they're at freaking school! And other channels,like Disney junior,they show them at like 3am. I'm sure the kids aren't allowed to wake up that early and start watching while his parents are still asleep. It's like this way with our favorite shows too! On Boomerang,one of my favorite shows,Fantastic Max,is on at 10:30. Thankfully,I already graduated,but still,it sucks that so many kids have to miss out on their favorite shows because of School and timing. Alright,on with the story.**

"Thank god,I hate those stupid commentaries." Harry said. He and the others walked up to one of the most influential locations in the entire _Silent Hill_ series.

"Lakeside amusement park?" Johnny asked. They stood at the entrance,which had a clown on the sign.

"Yeah,this place appeared in 2 games,not counting this bitch." Harry said.

"How scary was it?" Johnny asked.

"Freaking phit-pants scary,on the third game,it had these grotesque marry go round horses that would poison you. And the worst part was that you didn't have a map." Harry said.

"It's probably gonna be like _Drawn to life_ here,right?" Johnny asked.

"Oh hell yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if we saw one of those annoying little goomba rip-offs." Harry said.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! EVIL CLOWN!" Raz yelled as he threw a waste bin at the clown,breaking part of it off.

"Seriously? That's the best you got author?" Harry asked.

"I couldn't think of anything else." I said.

"Hey,there's a phone number up there. I wish there were some achievements for this." Harry said as he dialed the number.

"Welcome to the Lakeside Amusement Park information line. If you want to know when we're open...PRESS 1!" It said as Harry flinched.

"If you want to know about our rides..." It said.

"Must have disconnected." Harry said.

"PRESS 2!" The phone said as Harry jumped.

"If you wish to report a violation..." It said before Harry hung up.

"That is the most enthusiastic operator I've-" Harry started.

"PRESS 3!" The phone yelled,as Harry fell down. He hung up again.

"Alright,let's just get into the park,jack a boat,and get to that damn lighthouse so we can finish this trucking game." Harry said.

"How? The gates are locked." Johnny pointed out.

"I'll use my super strength to smash us an entrance!" Raz said as he charged and fell into an open window.

"Well,that should make the reader laugh,if he's retarded." Harry said as he and Johnny climbed into the window. Harry saw a Lost Children poster. He dialed it's number.

"Welcome to the Lost child hotline. Are you searching for a child?" It said.

"Yeah,do you have a little 7 year old named Meryl?" Harry asked.

"No,we are currently closed." It said.

"Then why did you answer in the first place?" Harry asked.

"My next data plan starts tomorrow,so I'm trying to use up my points before then." It said. Harry hung up. Johnny tried the door,which was locked.

"Don't worry,after all we've been through these last 3 nights and 2 days,I know the key isn't very far from it's lock." Harry pointed out. Raz put on the jacket that was hung up.

"Look at me,I'm Alan Wake. I can kill shadow demons by shining light on them." He said as he twirled around with Harry's Flashlight.

"Raz,how did you get my-" Harry started as a key smacked him in the eye,which flew out from Raz's coat.

"Hey Harry,I found the key." Raz said as he picked it up and held it in front of Harry. Harry snatched the key and his flashlight back from Raz and unlocked the door. They went through and wound up inside the park.

"Can we make some cotton candy?" Johnny asked.

"Hell no,that will prolong this game,we must finish as fast as possible." Harry said.

"OOOOhhh! A photo cutout! Get a picture of me!" Raz said as he ran for this cutout of a knight and princess that was in the opening chapter of the game.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! A GHOST!" Raz screamed as he jumped inside a nearby trash can. Harry looked behind the cutout and saw 2 shadow figures,which he took a picture of,revealing himself and Cheryl.

"M'lady,I hope that thy dragon did not give you any trouble. Daddy,stop it,your embarrassing me. Would thy princess give her hero a kiss? Mom! Dads acting up again! I thought you quit Marijuana! A brave knight cannot live without his magical elixer of-OOOOWWWW!" The message said. Raz stuck his head out of the trash can.

"Are they gone?" He asked.

"Yeah,I captured them with my camera obscura!" Harry said sarcastically. Raz got out of the bin.

"Oh no,they must have captured Johnny!" Raz said,jumping back in the bin. Harry turned around and noticed Johnny was missing.

"JOHNNY?" Harry yelled. He walked down the path for a minute and found Johnny playing a slot machine.

"Come on 7!" He yelled as he pulled the lever.

"Why the hell does a family park have slot machines?" Harry asked. The reels all got 7.

"Whoo-hoo!" Johnny yelled. A piece of a Locket fell out of the change thing. "What the hell! You stupid piece of PHIT!" He yelled again as he picked up the machine and threw it to the ground. Harry picked up the locket piece.

"Hey,this is Meryl!" he said.

"Who gives a crap? There's no money in this machine!" Johnny said after he tore open the machine. "Wheres Taz?" he asked.

"Hiding in the Pound puppy transportation tube." Harry said,pointing to the garbage can. Johnny went back,and dragged the can along with them,Raz still inside. They came to the tunnel of Love.

"There's nothing to love in this game." Harry said as they started in.

"If this were _Left 4 Dead_,there would be zombies all over the trucking place." Johnny pointed out.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't get my can wet,theres nice limited edition _Silent Hill:Shattered Memories_ T-shirt in here and it would be a shame if it got wet." Raz said from inside the garbage can.

"No sweat." Johnny said as he rolled the can onto the frozen canal,and Raz fell out,wearing the shirt. "The heater must have went offline." Johnny finished.

"Oh no,another Nightmare sequence?" Raz asked,nervously.

"It can't be,there wasn't a cutscene. Plus there's still the music." Harry said.

"I thought you turned the music off." Raz said.

"I turned it back on." Harry replied.

"Than why is you phone buzzing?" Raz asked.

"Must be one of those damn echo thingies nearby." He said as he followed his phone to the source,which was 2 frozen people kissing.

"Snap a photo,I hear these are worth a lot on ebay!" Johnny said.

"If we're not in a nightmare,why are these people frozen solid?" Raz asked.

"Maybe...someone from..._Bioshock_ wanted to try out their Winter blast in here." Harry guessed.

"I remember that very day we met. Yeah,you wandered into my church,Iron pipe in hand. You were raving on about the darkness consuming the world. Then I gave you the Flauros. Wait...That was the original _Silent Hill_. Then how did we really meet? We bumped into each other at the bar while doing weed. Oh." The message read. A little shadow girl ran past.

"MERYL! Come back here or your grounded!" Harry yelled as he chased after her.

"Throw that camera at her!" Johnny said as he chased after him.

"Super Raz,away!" Raz said as he chased after them,arms in the air.

"Damn it,where did she go?" Harry said,looking around.

"Let's take a ride on this magical flying goose!" Raz said as tried to climb into one of the swan boats,but fell back in terror after the shadow girl jumped out.

"MERYL! Stop running for Christ's sake,I'm your father damn it!" Harry yelled as he chased her around the room until she ran to this frozen door and vanished as Harry slammed his head against it. It melted and he got a message.

"I'm sorry,I just wanted some cotton candy. You stabbed him through the trucking neck with the sword swallower's sword! Hey,hes the one who chose to refuse service to middle aged men! It's even worse than the time you killed that clown by suffocating him with a balloon! Hey,I hate those freaks. Congratulations player,this is the last Echo message of the game! Your reward is:not having to listen to anymore of these ridiculous recreations of the real echo messages!" It said.

"Owww,That little spoiled bitch. She didn't even recognize me." Harry said,rubbing his head (rhyme again,bitch).

"Your noggin melted the ice on this door." Johnny pointed out.

"He must be a hot head. Hehehehehehehehehh!" Raz said before Johnny punched him in the face again. They left the tunnel of love and ended up near the docks. They saw a poster on the wall.

"Toluca Conservation Police,call if you are an extreme tree hugger." It read. Harry called it.

"Hello,would you like to report a violation?" It asked.

"uhhhh,no." Harry said.

"Then why the hell did you call?"It asked.

"Just wanted to call." Harry said.

"Then...CONGRATULATIONS! You've found all of the phone numbers! Your reward is-" It started.

"Not having to listen to anymore recreations of the real phone calls?" Harry guessed.

"Correct! Enjoy!" It said as it hung up. The boys continued down the docks until they saw a big houseboat.

"Hey,it's name is the Orpheus! That was the name of the ship from _Echo Night_! Our destinies must be linked!" Harry guessed.

"Isn't that where you meet Cybil and Dahlia?" Johnny asked.

"I hope we don't meet either of them in this game." Harry said as he started towards it.

"I yams what I yam." Raz said as he started towards it too. They all went inside,it looked like an Emo on weed threw up all over the place. Dahlia was sitting on the bed.

"Hey Harry." She said.

"Oh no." Harry said as he turned around and tried to leave,but Dahlia grabbed him.

"Where did you run off too? And wheres my boss' car?" She asked as she rubbed his shoulders.

"You froze into a freaking ball of ice,the car fell into a lake and we swam out,leaving you to your watery grave!" Harry said.

"Really? All I remember was waking up at the bar on a pile of empty beer cans." Dahlia said.

"Then,at the Green Lion,I saw this horrible ugly hag who looked like you,but way,way older and she was my wife!" Harry said,making ugly faces to show Dahlia how horrible it was.

"Look! A transparent Vase!" Raz said,looking through a bong.

"Hey! Gimme That!" Dahlia hissed as she snatched it from Raz.

"Holy PhiT! Look at all this pot!" Johnny said after he opened a trunk full of weed.

"I've been saving that for a special occasion." Dahlia said.

"Look,we need this boat to get to the lighthouse,that's where Meryl is." Harry said.

"Why would she be there?" Dahlia asked.

"Maybe,shes really Alyessa! And shes trying to complete the mark of Sameal!" Raz said.

"Raz,this is a freaking remake." Harry pointed out.

"Do you even own this boat?" Johnny asked,smoking a joint.

"I can't remember. Since you guys are here,why don't we have some fun?" Dahlia suggested.

"But what about-" Harry started before Dahlia took off her shirt. "Meryl can wait." He finished.

For the next hour,they partied. First,the beer bong.

"Go,Go,Go,Go,Go,Go!" They shouted as Raz drank from it. Then the pot,where they all sat around the bong,taking hits from it. Raz drank some beer from his shoe.

"I wuv you." Dahlia said to Harry.

"I wuv you." Harry said as he kissed Raz.

"Ugggghhh. I don't feel so good." Raz said right before he vomited a fast stream across the room. Johnny's lit Joint lit Raz's shoe on fire,which he put back on.

"AAAAAHHHHHH! Fallen Arches!" Raz yelled as he ran around,trying to put it out. Harry poured some beer on him,which spread the fire. Dahlia took off her skirt and managed to smother the fire with it. Then,they all stripped down to their skivvies,and started making out in bed. Later,they all laid in bed.

"That was the most fun I've had this entire game." Harry said as he smoked a joint.

"I've never smoked this much weed since Leon 13 held off on writing the story so he could work on Echo Fright." Johnny said,smoking 2 joints.

"That story still needs reviews by the way,it would mean a lot to him if you reviewed Echo Fright,if you can get over the missing words." Dahlia advertised.

"My foot's sore." Raz said,smoking too.

"Dahlia,I take back everything I said about...Damn girl,your leg feels like a freaking iceberg." Harry said.

"I think the blood stopped circulating." Raz said.

"Your all the way over there,Dahlia,what's wron-" Harry started before he saw Dahlia's frozen figure. He jumped out of the bed and saw the rest of the boat was frozen too.

"What the hell? I thought we were done with the nightmares!" Harry thought aloud.

"The designers wouldn't let us get away from them that easy." Johnny said.

"Well,I guess it's time to go." Harry said. They all ran outside. Harry was in his underwear,Johnny was wearing Raz's clothes and Raz was wearing Dahlia's clothes. After realizing what they were wearing,they ran back inside.

"Hmmmmm. Should I stay with the sexy leather,or should I don this gay Hawaiian shirt that I wore in those home videos?" Harry asked,holding both those costumes.

"I'd prefer the leather." Johnny said,back in his pink coat with nailed butterfly.

"The Hawaiian shirt would really make you happy!" Raz said. Harry threw the shirt at him and put on his black leather clothes.

"Screw what the game wants me to wear,I'm wearing what I want to wear!" He said. He and Johnny went outside,the lake was frozen.

"Hmph,we could have just waited for this and not even have bothered looking for a boat." Johnny pointed out. Raz came out,wearing the Hawaiian shirt.

"Lets go for a swim!" he said as he dove,headfirst,into 5 feet of solid Ice. The others jumped down. "Whoa,I wish the news told us that it would be below freezing." He said again. A bright light shone from the distance.

"Maybe we should go towards the light." Johnny suggested.

"Duhhh! This isn't the first time we used that gimmick." Harry said,pointing to James Sunderland from _Silent Hill 2_,in a rowboat on the ice,rowing.

"Damn it,why is it so hard to move this thing? It looks like I'm not moving at all!" He said. The guys started walking towards the light,until Harry's phone rang.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Harry! Please don't go! Come back!" Said the voice of the old hag he encountered in a past chapter.

"Damn it! How did you get my number!" Harry asked.

"Your in mycircle." She said.

"Look,I am tired of running around all over town! I'm gonna put an end to this game right now!" He said as he hung up on her. "Why the hell didn't I murder her?" He asked himself. His phone rang again. It was a message from Cybil.

"This is your sweet 7 year old?" It read with a picture of Heather Mason standing in front of a police line-up holding a card in front of her.

"That bitch,shes trying to deter us from our quest." Harry said,dramatically.

"I still think I was right about her." Johnny pointed out.

"I still think you just had too much weed to smoke." Harry replied. His phone picked up static. "That can't be an Echo message." He said.

"It's the weird naked guys without any sexual body features!" Raz yelled as some Rawshocks chased them from behind.

"You'll never win now,Mason!" One of them yelled. The guys booked it towards the light,until more Rawshocks came from that direction.

"Maybe we're finally able to fight,guys." Harry said as he pulled out his memento box.

"This isn't the best time to be reminiscing about the game!" Johnny yelled.

"Grab some relics boys!" Harry yelled as he opened it. Johnny took the snow globe found in the diner and threw it at a Rawshock,shattering against it's faceless head. Harry took out the dinosaur doll found in the safe at the mall,hugged it,then threw it at a Rawshock,squeaking when it hit. Raz grabbed the Ant sealed in amber found at the whore house and was about to throw it,but thought it looked like candy and swallowed it.

"Owww! Something bit my stomach lining!" He whined. Johnny grabbed the girly flashlight found at the cabin and shone it on the rawshocks,having no effect so he threw it too. Harry grabbed the ring found in the Telescope and threw it at a Rawshock,who grabbed it.

"A ring? Yes! I will Marry you,Harry!" It said as it put on the ring and ran towards Harry. Harry stabbed it in the face with the antique pen found in Michelle's car. Johnny threw the ring found in Biology at another Rawshock,who also caught.

"OOOhhh,this is super glamorous!" It said as it put it on. Johnny threw the Rose in the glass orb found in the locker at it,smashing against it's head. Meanwhile,somewhere in a dark castle,a beast died. Harry threw the dog toy found in a copy machine,which a Double head from _Silent Hill 3_ caught. Then he threw the red dragon found in a box,which also squeaked. Johnny got the disposable camera found in the cigar box and blinded some Rawshocks with it's flash,until it ran out of film.

"Damn,it's out!" He said.

"Use this!" Harry said as he tossed Johnny the roll of film found in the dead hamster's cage.

"What the? This ones all used up too! It got a bunch of pictures of other Hamsters!" Johnny said as a Rawshock grabbed him.

"Hang on Johnny!" Harry said as he picked up the box and slammed it through the Rawshock,pinning it's arms to it's side. Johnny slammed it on the head with the camera. Unfortunately,the other Rawshocks grabbed them and pinned them against the ice. Raz threw up on one,and the ant he ate bit it.

"Your game is over,Harry!" One of them said.

"Thank god,I couldn't stand another minute." Harry sighed. Suddenly,the light in the distance let out a massive shockwave that turned the Rawshocks into Ice and shattered.

"Sweet! Someone must be helping us!" Johnny pointed out,as they heard a loud crack.

"It's a shame the nightmare was the only thing holding us above the water." harry said as the ice beneath them shattered and they plunged into the lake. They popped their heads above the water.

"Great,now we're probably gonna pass out again once we reach the shore." Harry said as he started swimming.

"How about a song to pass the time?" Raz asked.

"NO!" Harry and Johnny yelled. The lighthouse was in sight.

"Come on boys,this games almost over." Harry said as he started getting weaker.

"I'm gonna get so drunk afterwards." Johnny said.

"I can't feel my legs,arms,groin,or ass. Do you guys?" Raz asked as they all passed out upon reaching the shore.

"Truck." Harry said before he felt his arms stop working. Cybil came by and,one by one,pulled them onto the shore. Harry awoke when she pulled him out and he quickly grabbed her Inox Beretta 92F and aimed it at her.

"I've had it with you,you jive turkey!" He yelled.

"Whats going on?" Johnny asked as he slowly got up.

"Have a holly jolly Christmas." Raz sang as he woke up.

"Sweet! Now we have the edge!" Johnny pointed out as he saw Harry holding the gun.

"Pop her in the noggin,Harrison." Raz said,in a British accent.

"Now calm down, Harry." Cybil said,using her diaper.

"Your not going to stop me,you stupid bitch!" Harry yelled.

"Yeah,you ratted us out to the press!" Johnny said.

"You have to kill a few cops to repair your microwave!" Raz said,which made everyone look at him for a second.

"No ones trying to stop you." Cybil said.

"You framed- Wait,what?" Harry asked.

"I'm not trying to stop you." Cybil said,again.

"Don't listen to her,you said she was trying to deter you from your quest." Johnny said.

"Yeah,kill her Non cloned ass!" Raz said.

"Shut up you morons!" Harry yelled as he shoved them forward with Cybil,aiming at them as well.

"You can't kill us,we're your companions." Johnny said.

"Yeah,this story won't be half as funny without us." raz said.

"Yeah,what if I kill myself!" Harry said as he pointed he gun under his chin.

"On second thought,if you do kill yourself,can you shoot us first?" Raz asked.

"Yeah,this games getting really bad." Johnny said.

"Do you idiots always argue this much?" Cybil asked.

"Not always. Since the story's almost over,we're trying to get in as many jokes as possible." Harry pointed out.

"This is more jacked up than _Bulletstorm_." Johnny said.

"Even _prey_ was more fun than this game." Raz said.

"I'm gonna fade into obscurity after this is over." Johnny said.

"You got a part on the next _Obscure_ game?" Raz asked.

"_Duke Nukem:Forever_ took 12 years to make,and it got a 6 on Gameinformer!" Johnny said.

"See? Without us,This parody would be nothing!" Raz said.

"Can I get back to my big revelation scene?" Cybil asked.

"Whatever." Harry replied.

"Look,I can believe you think your Harry Mason." Cybil started.

"I can believe I think my game set the ground for other games." Raz muttered.

"Shut up!" Harry hissed.

"Hell,I think you are Harry Mason." Cybil continued.

"And?" Harry asked.

"But Harry Mason-" Cybil started as the boys leaned in. "-Died in a car crash 18 years ago." She finished.

"No way." Johnny said.

"And Alma Wade is your mother!" Cybil said.

"It can't be." Harry said.

"And Andrew Ryan is your Father!" Cybil added.

"Shaznook!" Raz said.

"And Princess Leia is your sister!" Cybil Added again.

"That can't be right." Harry stated.

"And as a young man,you found Cheryl by the road!" Cybil yet added again.

"No seriously,that didn't happen in the remake." Harry pointed out.

"And you don't belong in this world!" Cybil added.

"Nope,nope." Harry said.

"These are just false memories I created so you would listen!" Cybil said.

"WILL YOU JUST KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE DAMN REVELATIONS!" Harry yelled.

"Sorry,just trying to get another joke in. You want Answers? They're probably in there." Cybil said,pointing to the lighthouse.

"Maybe,but just to be safe." Harry said as he shot Cybil through the head and her body rolled into the water. Then,he threw the gun into the lake."Won't have to worry about her anymore."

"Hell yeah!" Johnny said as he high-fived Harry.

"Celebration punches!" Raz said as he was about to hit Harry but Johnny hit him first.

"Alright,we have more than enough jokes,lets finish this." Harry said as they went up to the Lighthouse door,stopping to look at a sign.

"Toluca Therapeutic center. Who the hell would have a therapy sessions at a trucking lighthouse?" Harry said.

"The guy from _Saints Row_?" Raz suggested. They went inside,glad to be out of the cold.

"Oh god,it's so nice in here. I wonder if they have a heater?" Johnny said.

"Hey Harry,what has a chip on it's neck?" Raz asked.

"I don't care." Harry said,standing by a bust.

"A busted bust! Get it? Hahahahhhahahahahahahhahahah-" Raz laughed before Harry slammed the bust over Raz's head. Another locket half fell out of it,which Harry picked up.

"This goes with the other half we found. How the hell did one half end up in a slot machine across the lake and this one here in a freaking bust?" He asked.

"Maybe someone has a split-" Raz started.

"Don't." Harry said sternly. Raz mouthed "personality".

"OHHHHH MY TRUCKING GOD!" Yelled a voice from behind a nearby door.

"Someone else is here." Johnny pointed out.

"Thanks for the info captain obvious. I hope it isn't a cameo from _Silent Hill 2_." Harry said as they started towards the door.

Meanwhile,at the lighthouse. Wait,weren't we just there?

Dr. K was completely naked. He was standing up,clutching a bottle of whiskey.

"YOU ARE THE WORST PATIENT I'VE EVER MET! 16 chapters! 16 and we haven't made any progress! You know why your here? It's because of your worthless father! He died violently in a car crash,he was impaled of the #$%ing steering wheel! I know I cursed,but it's for a good cause! You keep telling yourself that your daddy is still alive. You also say that you have a happy family that would never fall apart. Well wake up,Bitch! Cause this is #$%ing reality!" He yelled violently. Raz walked in through the door in the background. Dr. K threw his bottle behind him,hitting Raz square on the face.

"AAAAGGHHHHGGHHHH! I wish I still had some emergency spray left." He said as he fell to the floor. Harry and Johnny came in too. Johnny set his eyes on Dr. K's massive drink collection and sped over there and started mixing. Harry was focused on Dr. K and the Patient.

"Do you know why pretending is bad for your health? It's because your negative emotion created physical manifestations of not only the retard next to me,but also retarded monsters without facial features,trying to protect your imaginary kingdom. Just accept it,JUST #$%ING ACCEPT IT!" Dr .K yelled.

Harry picked up Dr. K's suitcase from the original _Silent Hill_ and slammed it over his head,knocking him out,and opening the suitcase releasing a revolver,a wallet,Cheryl's underwear,a flask,and a Vial of red stuff that smashed on him,causing a worm to crawl out of his mouth,that the patient stomped on. And are you ready to know who the hell the patient is? As if you don't already know. If you really don't know,stop reading this fic immediately,you are in violation of Game Commandment 63:Thou shall not read a parody for game that thou has not played through yet!

"MERYL!" Harry screamed in happiness.

"Damn it dad,it's Cheryl!" Cheryl said,who really was a hot teenager. Harry crouched down next to her.

"Sorry. I spent the last 15 chapters of this horrible game looking all over for you!" Harry said happily.

"I thought I needed to blame my problems on someone else." Cheryl said. Johnny chugged his drink,which consisted of beer,alcohol,whiskey,vodka,Cherry Koolade,Chocolate syrup,Health drink,pickle juice,and a very small amount of Xima.

"What problems? If you need to blame them on someone,blame them on Johnny or Raz." Harry said as Johnny belched and Raz moaned.

"I mean you,I blamed my depression,murder,theft,and sex life on you." Cheryl said.

"ME! Why me?" Harry said.

"Well for one thing,you died in a car crash,which led me to all that phit." Cheryl said.

"I couldn't have died,I'm right here." Harry said.

"Not for long." Cheryl said as she pointed to Harry's freezing feet.

"Oh,well...At least this game is over. I love you sweetie. Here." He said as he gave her the locket. "I also had some other stuff you could remember me by,but it's either on my friends,Alan Wake's corpse,or floating in the lake. Anyway,forget about me or whatever it was I said in the game. Don't forget to brush your-" Harry started before he was completely covered in ice. He shattered to the Floor.

"Wait,if hes dead,are we dead?" Raz asked.

"Nah,he was a ghost,we're human. It could never happen to-" Johnny started as he was about to take a sip from his drink before he froze and shattered too.

"Oh no. I'm gonna end up the way I was in _Over_-" Raz started before he froze and Shattered.

"Well,so much for the happy ending." Cheryl said.

"Hey,baby,while your up,can you grab me some-" Dr. K started,Still laying on the floor before he froze and shatter. Cybil came in,with a bloody forehead and her jacket tied around her waist and tucked in the front.

"HARRY! You son of a bitch! Your so unlucky I have a metal plate in my head! Thanks to you,my diaper came off and now I'm dressed like Tarzan, Get out here you son of a-" She started before she froze and shattered. Michelle came in,still smiling and covered in melted make-up.

"Hi Cheryl,did you see your-" She started before she froze and shattered. Lisa came in.

"Hey Harry! I had a short slight disease where I look like I'm dead and bleed out of my nose. I'm alright n-" She started before she froze and shattered. The old Dahlia came in.

"Sweetie,did you see your father?" She asked. Then,the young Dahlia came in. "Who the hell are you?" the old one asked.

"The hottest piece of phit in town." The young one answered.

"No your not,that's me!" The old one said.

"You? You couldn't even bang Albert Einstein!" The young one said.

"Take that back you bitch!" The old one said as she strangled the young one. They both froze and shattered.

"Jeez,I wonder who else dad encountered?" Cheryl asked herself. The Stewarts walked in.

"Have you seen this crazy guy-" Mr. Stewart started.

"Let me guess,did he have brown hair?" Cheryl asked.

"Yeah,did you-" He started before he and his wife Froze and shattered. An unidentified woman came in.

"Who the truck are you?" Cheryl asked.

"I'm the barmaid. Harry would have met me if he went to the Good Old times bar,but he had to go to the diner. Damn,the cop gets all the luck." He said before she froze and shattered. Cheryl calmly walked out of the lighthouse and met her Boyfriend by his sedan.

"Hi James,you wouldn't believe the phit I've seen tonight." Cheryl said.

"Clean up that language lady,we're going to an M-rated story!" James Sunderland said.

"Sweet." Cheryl said.

They got in his car and drove off. Seconds later,a hand reached out from the ground,it turned out to be the arm of a resurrected Alan Wake. He dug himself out and stood up.

"You won this time,Harry Mason,but if we cross paths again,I will-" He started before James' car backed over him.

"Sorry,I forgot my purse." Cheryl said as she got out. "Wait,I left it at home." She returned to the car and the back tire tore off Alan's head and drug his decapitated body down the road by his hood.

The scene shifts to the video footage from the beginning of the game. After it shifts to another scene.

"Good bye sweetie." Old Dahlia said to Harry,as he was getting ready to leave.

"Daddy,do you still love me?" Cheryl asked.

"Of course I do sweetie. It's just if I stay here with your mother,I'll most likely cheat on her and or possibly kill her as a result of stressful marriage as revealed by all those stupid Echo messages in the game." Harry said. Cheryl was terrified. "Goodbye honey" He said again as he got in his car and drove off,a loud crash and explosion were heard and a wheel from his car rolled by. The footage ended.

And are you wondering what became of Parker? He fell asleep right as he opened the final door,passed out on top of the controller,his diaper wet. Now we can all sleep easily now that this game is over.

The end?

**Don't worry,it's really not the end. I'm going to write an extras chapter. I thought up some possible titles for it and want you to tell me which one you'd like to see in your review**

**Happy Birthday**

**Harry's rejected Mementos**

**Harry's other memento box**

**Bonus options menu**

**Harry's cell phones videos**

**Resurrection of Boredom**

**I'm glad you've decided to read this far.**

**SUPREMACISTS SUCK!**


	17. Harry's other,rejected memento box

Chapter 17:Harry's other,rejected Memento box

Disclaimer:I don't own any of the Songs,games or films or books referenced in this story. I do own Johnny,Alex,Parker and G.X.

**Important note! I re-uploaded the last chapter. I got so carried away that I forgot to add the actual ending,it's up now.**

**First and foremost: Baby Felix. It's a cartoon series of Felix the cat when he was a baby (For some odd reason,he is never seen in a diaper). Anyway,he also interacts with his adult self through his magic mirror and magic bag. In this one episode,Baby Felix wanted Adult Felix's bag. If Adult Felix just gave him the bag,he would still have it because Baby Felix still had it. I know your probably confused about why I'm talking about this weird cartoon,but I just got some DVDs of it and it was on top of my mind. Anyway,the things that could be done to improve this lacking cartoon is add more violence,pop culture references,retarded acts,stupid plots and above all,diapers to conclude that Felix is indeed a baby. Alright,you've just experienced a DC moment. Now on with the Extras**

Lets start the show off with some Alternate endings,this is the drunk dad one;

Harry wandered onto the back porch of his house,stumbling side to side,holding a whiskey bottle. Cheryl was Filming him.

"What are ya filming me for? Expect me to strip or something?" He slurred. He fell onto the porch and vomited. "Sweetie,could you get your daddy a beer from the fridge? It's the brown can on the second-" He started before he vomited again.

"Daddy,I want you to promise me never to drink again." Cheryl asked. Harry vomited again.

"Damn it,wheres my beer?" Harry asked as he started eating a chocolate bar.

"Daddy,promise me,or I'll tell mom where you've been all night." Cheryl threatened. Harry vomited yet again and dipped his chocolate bar in the puke and ate it.

"Daddy?" Cheryl asked before Harry Vomited into the camera. I know I stole this from _Dance Flick_ so just shut the #$% up,you damn copyrighters. Now for the sexy ending;

Harry turned on the camera in a room with a pink bed.

"Hi,I'm Harry Mason. I'm a writer" He said.

"I'm Michelle. I'm a High school graduate." Michelle said as she stepped in front of the camera.

"I'm Cybil. I'm a police officer." Cybil said as she stepped in front of the Camera (and yes,she is still a furry).

"I'm Claire. My brother is with the BSAA." Claire said as she stepped in front of the camera.

"I'm some random woman. I'm a barmaid." The barmaid said as she stepped in front of the camera. They all sat down on the bed.

"Now,my Police officer,high school graduate,sibling of BSAA,and Barmaid,let me introduce you to my new book called,"Sleaze and Sirens"." Harry said.

"What's it about?" Michelle asked.

"It's about a writer who ditches his wife and has sex with a Police officer,High school Graduate,Barmaid and Sibling of BSAA. And to get the highest rating of all the endings." Harry said.

"That sounds like what we're about to do." Cybil pointed out.

"Best of all,I dedicate this book to Leon 13,who added 2 more girls for me to bang." Harry said. "Alright girls,lets go to m rated content."

Clothes flew off and into the camera,blocking all the potentially sexy action that would increase my popularity greatly. Damn. Oh well,now for the wimpy ending;

Harry was kneeling beside Dahlia.

"Your worthless! Get a real job!" Dahlia hissed,slapping Harry.

"I don't get,Alan Wake gets thousands for his books." Harry said.

"You can't even stand up for yourself,your a failure!" Dahlia said as she smashed the game disk over his head. "You can't even make a good video game!"

"Why are you so cruel?" Harry asked.

"Because I'm...Your worthless!" Dahlia said as she slammed a chair over Harry's head. You get the idea,now for the UFO ending;

"Of the ridiculous crap I've heard from you tonight,this tops it. You think your father was abducted by Aliens?" Dr. K asked.

"Yeah,they sucked his car into their ship." Cheryl said.

"That is the dumbest thing I've ever-" Dr. K started before the lighthouse rumbled. Beams of light shot into the room,carrying away objects they shone on,including Cheryl and Dr. K. They were strapped into these vertical Gurneys that were being moved on a rail.

"Hi sweetie." Harry said.

"Dad?" Cheryl asked.

"What the hell is going on here?" Dr. K asked.

"We're about to get probed." Harry said as he watched Dr. K get stabbed with these needles from this machine.

"Oh my god,Dad!" Cheryl yelled as Harry was next in line.

"Don't worry about me sweetie. I'm actually already dead." Harry said right before he was stabbed by the needles.

"No! I can't believe that the author put us in a _Prey_ parody!" Cheryl yelled.

"Well since your here,might as well get to know each other." Said Domasi "Tommy" Tawodi,the dude from _Prey_,who was next to Cheryl.

Now for some custom endings! Here's the _God of War_ ending;

"Okay,the sessions up,pay up." Asked a naked Dr. K.

"Never!" Cheryl yelled as she pulled out the blade of Olympus.

"You dare strike me down,after giving you so much help!" Dr. K gasped,while cowering.

"I'm going to finish my vengeance!" Cheryl yelled as she plunged the blade into her stomach and a beam of blue energy soared out.

"No! I have no idea what the hell that was,but No!" Dr. K yelled.

"This is the dumbest ending we've used since the advent of those UFO endings." Cheryl said before she fell to the ground dead. Heres the _F.E.A.R_ ending;

Cheryl and James were driving down the road.

"So what happened to your dad? Did he-" James started before the engine went out. "What was that?" He said again as Harry climbed onto the hood of the car before an endless loop of credits started. That was short,heres the _Resident Evil_ ending;

Cheryl got in James car and started to drive away,but it was being pulled back by Dr. K,who now grew tentacles.

"You forgot to pay me!" He yelled. Cheryl reached in the backseat and grabbed an RPG. She leaned out the window and fired it. The rocket (Rocket propelled grenade actually) flew right into Dr. K's head and exploded him into a fountain of blood. Screw you T-rating! Heres the _Drawn to Life:Next Chapter_ ending;

Cheryl stood in front of James.

"Whats happening? Why did everyone freeze and shatter?" She asked.

"It's you Cheryl. It's all you." James said.

"What the hell does that mean?" Cheryl asked.

"Player,we're ready." James said.

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Cheryl asked. Parker suddenly jolted awake and pressed the X button before falling asleep again. Afterwards,the earth shook and James Vanished.

"James? James? What the hell?" Cheryl yelled. Suddenly she found herself in a black void. There was a childish drawing of a car crashing into a pole at the top of the screen. "Seriously. Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"What is the last thing your remember?" A caption at the top of the screen said.

"Who the truck are you?" Cheryl yelled.

"She was holding onto my coat,which made me steer into the pole." A voice said.

"Dad?" Cheryl asked.

"I see...What else?" The caption asked.

"I killed the caption because NO ONE IS TELLING ME WHAT THE ##$ IS GOING ON!" Cheryl yelled.

"I can't remember much else,I just had a beer and everything was hazy." The voice said.

"Is anyone listening to me?" Cheryl yelled.

"I see...can you draw us a picture of what happened?" The caption asked.

"You know what? Screw this,I'm gone." Cheryl said as she started walking away into the blackness.

"fgreahmo gdopr geyoyp." The voice said.

"Whatever." Cheryl said as she kept walking. She saw Harry standing in the distance. "DADDY!" She cried as she ran towards him.

"Heather,breakfast!" A voice yelled. Everything flashed white.

"DADDY!" Heather the Raposa from _Drawn to Life_ yelled as she woke up. Her care taker,Jowee,was standing next to her bed.

"Relax Heather,it was just a dream." He said,Heather hugged him.

"Oh my god Jowee! It was so horrible! There was this girl and this therapist and her dad who died in a car crash and all these horrible naked monsters!" Heather said,crying in terror.

"Don't worry,it was just a dream. Dreams aren't real." Jowee said. Then Harry Mason appeared at the window.

"Or is it?" He said in a creepy voice. Now heres the _Klonoa_ ending;

"You don't belong here dad." Cheryl said to Harry.

"Then where do I belong?" Harry asked.

"I don't know,_Silent Hill 1_?" Cheryl said.

"Who's gonna stop me?" Harry asked as a black hole opened behind him.

"That." Cheryl said. Harry held on to Cheryl's hands as it tried to suck him in.

"CHERYL! HELP ME!" Harry yelled. Raz and Johnny (Who was still drinking) were sucked into it.

"Your going back,to your own phantomisle." Cheryl said.

"What the hell is a phantomislllllllllllll!" Harry yelled as he lost his grip and fell into the black hole. "I will haunt you forever!" He screamed before it closed. The sun shone through the windows of the lighthouse and flowers bloomed from the ground. A tear rolled down Cheryl's cheek.

"Your sad he's gone,huh?" Dr. K asked.

"No. My contact lens got a hair in it." She said. And now-

"I think we have enough endings." Parker said.

"Come on,just one more?" I asked.

"Alright,you wanted me to say that just to pass some time." Parker said.

"Good,now heres the...uhhh,which other ending should we lampoon?" I asked.

"Let me see..." Parker said,flipping through papers. "We used the _Wizard of Oz_ ending in Echo Fright already. What about the _Kingdom Hearts_ ending?" He asked.

"No." I said.

"The _Metroid_ ending?" He asked.

"No." I said.

"_Dead Space_?" he asked.

"No." I said.

"_Alan Wake_?" he asked.

"Hell no!" I yelled.

"Are you sure? That might be pretty funny." Parker said.

"Fine,roll it." I said.

Harry sat at his computer,typing.

"It's not a town,it's a city." He whispered. There,now for the alternate scenes. Remember the video shop and bar? Here they are;

Harry and Johnny entered the video shop.

"I still think we should have gone to the underwear place." Harry said.

"This is the extras chapter." Johnny said.

"Whatever." Harry said. He went over to an answering machine.

"Yeah,I'm calling about our wedding tape. You were supposed to copy it on another tape,but instead,you erased it. That was a very special moment! Even though Chris and I got in a fight over the cake,and the part when he beat up Carlos for stealing our gift money. Anyway,I'm gonna hire Tommy Vercetti to burn your shop down,good bye." It said.

"Hmmmm,Glad I'm not married." Harry said,oblivious to his wedding ring. Johnny stole some tapes and Harry went over to this monitor.

"What the hell is this? A prehistoric security system?" He asked himself. He turned the knob and it switched cameras,he saw himself. He raised his hand and other movements to see himself do them. Johnny checked the back door.

"Damn it,it's freaking locked." He said.

"Who cares? I'm having a ball with this thing." Harry said,watching himself dance on the monitor. "Maybe this adds music." He said as he pressed the button and the door unlocked itself.

"Cool,you unlocked it." Johnny said,shoving money from the cash register in his pants.

"Not now,I'm on a roll." Harry said,still dancing. Johnny picked up the monitor and threw it through the window.

"Spoil sport." Harry said as they left through the door. They went through the alley and phit until they reached The Good ol day bar.

"The Ice cream parlor for Adults." Johnny said as he ran inside. Harry followed him. "Cheryl's life couldn't be on the clock" He said to himself. Johnny was drinking as the barmaid wiped the table.

"Howdy stranger. Can I get you a drink?" She asked.

"God,why do I live in a southern town?" Harry whispered.

"What?" The barmaid asked.

"Nothing. I'm Harry Mason,this is Johnny. I was in a car crash and I'm looking for my little girl." He said as he showed her her picture in his wallet.

"Hmmm. Sickeningly sweet. It also says you live at Levin's street and your a writer." The barmaid said. Johnny was having his 20th beer.

"Levin's street? Why the hell would I live on a street named that?" Harry asked himself. A ringing sound came from his jacket.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" The barmaid asked.

"Oh,I forgot I had a cellphone." Harry said,pulling it out. "Hello?"

"Daddy,help me (Crash)." The phone said before it cut.

"Honey? Honey? My god,someone must have broken into our house! I must go to her!" Harry said.

"Would you like a drink first?" The barmaid asked.

"As severely unwise that is,I will." Harry said as he ordered a Xima.

"I'm gonna close up,you boys can let yourselves out." The barmaid said before she left.

"Sweet." Harry said as he jumped behind the counter and looted the cash box.

"Lets play a quick game of darts." Johnny said.

"What the hell." Harry said. He opened the darts cabinet and found a snowglobe.

"Wow,I just rediscovered the first memento." He said before Johnny hit him on the neck with a dart."JESUS!"

"Damn it,I missed." Johnny said.

"Alright,lets go before you do something else foolish." Harry said as he pulled the dart out and they left the bar. When they reentered the video store,Harry's phone picked up static.

"Damn,I thought this place had wifi." Harry said as he followed it to it's source,a stack of tapes.

"We share a single Xbox 360. It's really frustrating when I want to play Gears_ of War_ and shes playing something barbie related. Why are you telling me this? Because I want to purchase a DVD player so I can distract her by playing movies that annoy her. We don't sell DVD players,just VCRs. Then hand over the money. What? Theres a gun in my pocket,hand over your money. How do I know thats a real gun? You wanna bet? Yes. (Bang)." The message played.

"That doesn't even make much sense." Harry said.

Much later,they took the other path at the High school and ended up outside.

"Jeez,students have to cross outside to get to art?" Harry asked himself. He got an echo message when he passed a lunchbox.

"Lovely Caitlin,I've come to ask you out to the prom. My name is Cheryl. Whatever,will you go to the prom with me? Hell no,Claire's gonna kick your ass. Please? No,Steve,piss off. Please,I can't stand Claire's talk about guns. She keeps going on and on about how kick-ass her Grenade Launcher is! Fine,but first,a couple of things. One,you'll pay me 50 bucks. Two,you'll do my homework for the rest of the year. Three,you'll accept full responsibility if Claire sees us. And four,you'll do something about that stupid hair. Agreed. Good,now,heres my Biology assignment..." It said. Johnny opened the lunchbox and ate a cookie in it.

"For some reason,I feel that these messages are connected to me." Harry said.

"For some reason,this peanut butter cookie is still fresh." Johnny said as he ate another cookie. They moved onward until Harry saw a piece of paper taped to a pillar.

"Waitress Wanted." He read. He dialed the phone number on it.

"Hey,this is Duke Nukem. If your willing to be my Waitress,here are some requirements. First,no ugly bitches. Second,the bigger the breast,the better. Third,must be comfortable with flirting and touching. Fourth,must not wear a top. Fifth and final,no assaulting Duke,or else I'll take some roids and bash your head off." The phone said.

"Mr. Nukem,I'm a big fan." Harry said.

"Hey,your not a chick! Sorry,no dudes." Duke said before he hung up.

"Damn,I always wanted to get his autograph." Harry said as he put his phone away. They moved a bit further until they came to some posters warning students about drugs.

"Damn,I didn't know crack was a weaker version of Coke." Johnny said.

"I wish we had some drugs. They would make this game a lot funner." Harry said. They entered a nearby classroom. It was a Chemistry room,where the kid from _Bully_ was doing a science experiment.

"I wish we went to biology. They probably had pictures of breast." Johnny said. Harry picked up a vial of acid and smashed it over the kid's head. He screamed and fell to the ground as his skull melted. The boys left and entered a hallway.

"They could at least have some pickups or something that makes searching these lockers worth something." Harry said. They entered the art room and examined the sketch.

"Call in the shadows? That sounds like something you'd find in _Alan Wake_. And don't bother trying the door,it's locked." Harry said.

"How'd you know that?" Johnny asked.

"We encountered a locked door in the other path too." Harry said. "This picture must have something to do with the door."

"The statues in the Sketch are sitting over here." Johnny said,pointing to the table.

"Excellent. We just have to organize them in the right order to unlock the drawer with the key." Harry said. He grabbed the statues and started arranging them. Johnny got a paint brush and started painting his own picture.

"There,it's done." Harry said as he looked at his work. "Wait,this drawer isn't open. What the hell? I arranged them in the right order!" Harry grabbed the sketch and tore it in half.

"Look,I painted a picture of Jack Skeleington." Johnny said. Harry came over and looked at it,which was just a stick figure.

"This isn't helping our door problem." Harry said.

"Maybe they're in the wrong order." Johnny said as he moved over to the table.

"I had them in the precise order! I looked at the damn sketch 20-" Harry started as he shined his flashlight over the statues and saw the shadows. "Say,the shadows form numbers."

"Oh,it's a code." Johnny said.

"There isn't a code pad by the door." Harry pointed out.

"The what the hell is this number for?" Johnny asked.

"Let me think,what has numbers?" Harry asked himself. "I can think faster if I listen to some music." He said again as he pulled out his phone.

"Maybe your phone can unlock the door." Johnny suggested.

"_I'm Awake,I'm Alive_." Harry sang.

"Harry? Harry?" Johnny yelled.

"What? I'm trying to think." Harry said.

"Maybe you can use your phone to unlock the door." Johnny repeated.

"What? You want me to break it down with my phone?" Harry asked.

"No,try calling the number." Johnny said.

"What? You think someone who lives behind this door will open it for us if we give them a call?" Harry asked.

"Just try it." Johnny said.

"I can't,it has to be 7 digits long." Harry pointed out.

"Then put 555 before them." Johnny pressured.

"Jeez,I hate it when we have these Arguments to draw out the story." Harry said as he typed in the number. "Anyway,theres no way calling a random number will unlock-" Harry started before he heard a click in the door.

"Oh,I guess I was wrong." He said as they left.

Now we jump ahead several chapters,when they're at the mall. They can go to the card shop,or salon.

"We already did the card shop so now we have to go to the salon." Harry said.

"Finally,I'm back in the story." Raz said. They went inside. Johnny,of course,looted the cash register. "I've always wanted to put some shine in my hair." Raz said as he picked up a bottle of hair spray.

"Wow,another locked door. We are on a roll here." Harry said. Raz sat down at one of the mirrors and sprayed some hair crap in his hair. "Raz,don't do that. I'm allergic to hair products!"

"Hell no. I want to look fabulous!" Raz said as he sprayed some more.

"I said stop!" Harry yelled as he tried to wrestle the spray can out of Raz's hand.

Raz grabbed a hair straightener and clamped it on Harry's ear,hot. Harry screamed and threw it off,his ear bleeding red. Harry grabbed a women's magazine and repeatedly hit Raz with it. Raz sprayed some red hair spray into Harry's face. Harry recoiled back,face covered in red stuff.

"Damn it! I'm already getting hives!" Harry yelled,itching.

"Haha. You look horrible in red." Raz taunted.

Harry grabbed a hair clip and clamped it on Raz's nose. Raz grabbed a jar of cream and started spreading it on Harry's face. Harry grabbed a can of hair spray and sprayed it in Raz's eyes and mouth. Then he filled the sink with hot water thrust Raz's head into it. The steam of the water revealed numbers on the mirror. But Harry was still busy,drowning Raz. Raz flailed his arms about until he grabbed a towel and threw it at Harry's face. He recoiled back and screamed. Harry threw the towel off and saw the numbers on the mirror.

Say,that must be-" He started before Raz charged at him with a pair of scissors. Harry grabbed him by his hand and pulled him to the ground with him. They wrestled over the scissors. Then Raz spun a Twister dial,which landed on..

"Left foot red." Raz said before moving his foot there on a Twister mat that suddenly appeared there. Then Harry spun it.

"Right hand yel-wait,why the hell are we doing this?" He asked as he threw Raz off and stood up. He examined the numbers on the mirror. "Am I gonna have to call a magic phone number again?"

"You can use this wall phone." Raz said,pointing to a keypad beside the exit door.

"Well,thanks for stumbling onto the next clue,Raz." Harry said as he input the code.

"I wish we still had something to light fires with." Johnny said as they left the room. Now for some additional scenes.

Cheryl had her father's memento box,sitting on her desk in her room. She had gathered the remains of his mementos,whether they were shattered to pieces,stuck on the fingers of Rawshocks,or inserted into ones eye. She closed it and carried it outside and threw it in the dumpster,she didn't have enough room for it in her house. Now,lets take a peek at Dr. K's report.

"Tonight's analysis: Patient today was very annoying. Filled out an average general report,though I found her answer for the last question confusing. The last time I heard someone answer "yes-I mean no" for the diapered cartoon question was (Illegible due to beer stains). Then the house coloring thing was a complete failure. I've seen her house before and it looked nothing like what she drew. She is so messed up,she kept saying that her dad was still alive and was fighting off monsters from her imagination. What a crazy bimbo. Then the school thing,aarrrararrargggghhhhh (illegible due to beer stains). The school thing failed,thats in case the last sentence got erased. Then some retard called me right in the middle of a session. The only real successful session was the death thing where (illegible due to vomit stains). Then the guilt thing,she outsmarted me completely. Why the hell am I writing this? They didn't have anything else to put behind the credits? Then there were all those other activities like dates,sex, and maybe some ping pong,but I don't want to go into detail. Damn,I got to pee. (Rest is illegible due to Urine stains)."

Remember the guy with the black hair mentioned in the second chapter? That was the character I was gonna use before Raz. I decided not to use him,but here,he breathes one last breath of life;

Harry and Johnny entered a wide open area in their first nightmare sequence.

"Lets hope those things can't reach us here." Harry said.

"Holy Phit!" Johnny said,pointing to another figure in the room with them.

"Who are you?" Harry asked.

"I am the prince of Sayians." The figure said.

"Vegeta!" Johnny blurted. Vegeta was the figure,decked in his RIT armor.

"Your the guy Leon 13 was gonna make us pair with?" Harry asked.

"He was foolish to deny me. I am far more powerful than anyone else on this planet!" Vegeta yelled.

"Rawshocks!" Harry yelled,pointing to a swarm of Rawshocks.

"Ha Ha Ha! These fools will prove no match for the Prince of Sayians!" Vegeta said. He fired his Gallick gun at them. They were knocked down,but got back up. "Impossible!" He said again as he fired his Big Bang attack at them,which also only knocked them down.

"Jeez,those are some strong skins they got." Harry said.

"This can not be! I will not be defeated by simple Ragdolls!" Vegeta said as he fired his Final flash at them. It burnt a massive hole through the wall,but the rawshocks were only covered in ash. "I am the prince of Sayians!" He yelled as he charged at them and started punching and kicking them. They took no damage and they all tackled Vegeta. Harry and Johnny tip toed away from the dying Sayian and escaped through a nearby door.

Harry,Raz and Johnny wandered on the frozen lake.

"So,have you guys ever seen _Red Faction:origins_?" Harry asked.

"Yeah,that movie stunk." Johnny said.

"I thought it was -" Raz started before he and Johnny were tackled by Rawshocks.

"Harry! Help us!" Johnny screamed.

"I can't,I'm not allowed to fight." Harry said.

"What the hell is this?" Someone yelled. Harry turned around and saw the original Harry Mason from _Silent Hill 1_. "Since when can't I fight? Everyone in the world knows Harry Mason can fight,except the retards who made this game. Outta the way,It's Harry to the rescue." He said again as he pushed The SM Harry out of the way.

"But,you can't be here,I'm Harry Mason." SM Harry said.

"Look whos talking." The past Harry said as he bashed open the skulls of the rawshocks with a lead pipe.

"Isn't this a rip off of MAD magazine's satire on the live action _Popeye_?" SM Harry asked.

"Yeah,the author has a bunch of old MADs." Past Harry said as he stomped on the throat of a Rawshock.

"This Harry is way cooler than the new one!" Johnny said,high fiving Past Harry.

"It's good to have another guy from the same console as me." Raz said.

"Now to finish this." Past Harry said.

"Your gonna kill the designers?" Raz asked.

"No,Him!" Past Harry said as he swiped the pipe at SM Harry's head,splashing blood everywhere.

"WOO HOO!" Johnny cheered.

"The real Harry is back and here to stay." Past Harry said.

Meanwhile,by Harry's wrecked car...

"Damn it,I need a ride!" Tommy Vercetti from _Grand Theft Auto:Vice City_ said. He ran down the road and held a 44 magnum,covered in blood. He saw a car that was shoved into a pole. "Ehh,better than nothing." He said as he got in and drove it away. Now a final send off from the cast;

Harry,Johnny,Raz,Cheryl,Dr. K,and Young Dahlia stood on a stage. Raz and Johnny were on instruments.

"_Don't know what's going on. Don't know what went wrong._" Harry sang.

"_Feels like a hundred years I_-" Dr. K sang.

"_Still can't believe your gone_." Cheryl sang.

"_So I'll stay up all night._" Cybil sang while driving her Police car in a booster seat.

"_With these Bloodshot eyes._" Ethan Thomas sang as he laid on the ground of a bear's cave,legless.

"_While these walls surround me._" Cindy sang,trapped in the locker.

"_With the story of our life._" Arytom sang as he laid on the road,typing on his typewriter.

"_I feel so,much better._" Dahlia sang.

"_Now that your gone forever!_" Cheryl sang.

"_I tell myself._" Alice sang in her bed,emotionless.

"_That I don't._" Milly sang as she was pummeled by Rawshocks.

"_Miss you at all._" Michelle sang at her table in the diner,smeared makeup and ate a piece of cake.

"_Not Lying._" Layer sang while feeding her kids.

"_Denying_." Teare sang as he watched TV.

"_That I feel so much better._" Lisa sang,laying on her couch,bleeding out of the nose.

"_Now-ow_" The Barmaid sang.

"_That your gone forever._" Cheryl sang.

"_Now things are coming clear_." Dr. K sang,holding a report.

"_And I don't need you here._" Cheryl sang as she kicked Dr. k out of the way.

"_And in this world around me_." Alan Wake sang as he sat in the popcorn machine.

"_I'm glad you disappeared._" Harry sang as he shot Wake through the head with Cybil's gun.

"_So I'll stay out all night._" Richard Osmond sang as he sat in his recliner reading a MAD magazine.

"_Get drunk and #$%ing fight._" Johnny said as he downed a beer.

"_Until the morning comes i'll-_" Cybil sang,pouring coffee on her face.

"_Forget about our life._" Harry sang as Old Dahlia grabbed his arm and he shoves her down.

"_I feel so,much better_." Cheryl sang.

"_Now that your gone forever._" John Marston sang as he tore up a picture of Michelle.

"_I tell myself_." Altair sang as he punched the civilian.

"_That I don't_." Steve Burns sang in his car.

"_Miss you at all._" Claire Redfield sang as she blew up Steve's car with her M79 grenade launcher.

"_Not lying._" Andrew sang in his crib.

"_Denying._" Boland sang.

"_That I feel so much better._" Raz sang as he sniffed his emergency spray.

"_Now-ow_." The barmaid sang.

"_That your gone forever._" Cheryl sang,throwing her pendant in a garbage can.

"_First time you screamed at me_." Harry sang before Old Dahlia slapped him.

"_I should have made you leave_." Old Dahlia sang.

"_I should have known it could be_" Alex sang,playing _Fatal Frame 2_.

"_So much better._" The Tweenies sang.

"_I hope your missing me._" Harry sang,holding his arms out to embrace Cheryl.

"_I hope I've made you see-e-e._" Cheryl sang as she maced him.

"_That I'm gone forever-er-er._" Harry sang as he shattered.

"_And now it's coming clear._" Dr. K sang as he held up the guilt thing he made Cheryl do.

"_That I don't need you here._" Cheryl sang as she maced him.

"_And in this world around me_." G. X sang,in heaven.

"_I'm glad you disappeared._" John Marston sang as he shot Michelle through the head with his Volcanic 10.

"_I feel so,much better._" Harry sang as he drank some whiskey.

"_Now that your gone forever._" Johnny sang as he pulled a sheet over Lisa's dead body.

"_I tell myself._" Alice sang as she fought the Mad hatter.

"_That I don't._" Domasi "Tommy" Tawodi sang,on the gurney.

"_Miss you at all._" Harry sang as he shot Cybil.

"_Not lying._" Parker sang in the shower.

"_Denying_." Alex sang.

"_That I feel so much better._" Cheryl sang as she smoked at a bong.

"_Now-ow,that your gone forever-er._" The whole cast sang.

Meanwhile at Konami HQ...

Parker walked up the steps of Konami HQ,which was a massive Volcano,game in hand.

"_And now your gone forever-er-er_." The cast sang again.

"Foul game! Go back to the depths in which you were forged!" Parker yelled as he threw the game in the Volcano.

"_And now your gone forever-_" The cast sang before everything burst into flames.

"MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!" Harry screamed. Everyone panicked and ran around the stage,which collapsed,pinning Harry,Raz and Johnny to the floor. "Cheryl! Help me!"

"If I didn't help you in the _Klonoa_ ending,what makes you think I'd help you here?" Cheryl asked before a large chunk of Ceiling crushed her.

"All that time,wasted." Harry said.

"WE'RE MELTING!" The Rawshocks yelled as they melted.

"SAVE MY LIQUOR,SAVE MY LIQUOR!" Dr. K yelled ,clutching his drinks to his chest.

"Well,at least we went out with a bang." Raz said before he noticed that Harry and Johnny were burnt to a crisp. "I wonder if I have any emergency spray left?" He said as he took it out and sniffed it.

Parker walked back down the steps,never happier.

"Good,now I can play something meaningful." He said. He passed by Pingu,who was fishing in a manhole again. One of the creatures grabbed him and pulled him in. Parts of his body flew out once more.

The End,Finally.

**Well,thats that. Now I'm going to work on my Bio-Jock story. If you like my stories,you should read it. Also check out my Academy retards story and Channel 13 story. Thank you for all your support.**

**Supremacists suck!**


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